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sorry if this is long. I was dating a man for two years. We never had any major arguments and we had a lot of common interests. We live about 1.5 hours from each other. Saw each other about 3 times a week and had fun together.
Recently things seemed off a bit and before he went on vacation he asked for a break. Surprised the heck out of me so I said ok. He said we would talk when he returned. I texted him the day he returned and he said to call him. We talked for a bit about his trip and I asked if we were still on a break and he said he wanted to break up. I was of course confused. I did do the pleading and begging for a Day And he continued to text me. We saw each other that week and he said we were back together. Two days later he broke up again. I was calm this time. He continued to text for a few more days and then asked to meet me. We met and then had (sex) . he asked to see me every night during the next work week and then texted me on Sat night he felt tied down. He was at a friends home with this happened. I know he talks bad about me to his friends but I know when there are problems in a relationship friends talk about problems. Well, he continued to text me every day again and we spent the next three days together until I went out of town. I didn’t text nor call him while out of town. Then on Sunday out of the blue he asked to talk. I called him and he asked me to meet him that night after I got in. He was with his family on vacation so he was only about 20 minutes from my home. I drove over and we had sex again. He asked me to spend time with his family so I drove over the next day and spent time with them and he asked me to spend the night because the next morning he had to leave at 4 AM to go drop something off back home and wanted me to drive with him. That night his sister was extremely rude to me and I left. The next day he called me a bunch and then we got into an argument about something that happened a month ago. The next day he texted me good morning I replied morning and then Later i was blocked. I sent him an email and asked why he blocked me he replied that he did not. Well i was blocked come to find out but he said his sister did it. .??..
three days later he came to my home and seemed extremely tired so I told him to go lie down and take a nap. He asked me to join him and of course one thing turned into another and we had sex again. He asked me to go back to his home because he needed to mow the grass and pay some bills so I agreed. On the way home one of his friends called and he told him we were back together. His friend started speaking very badly of me the whole trip home. Ex only defended me once and said he just was not done with me yet. Ex told his friend We have very strong feelings for each other and he wanted to continue seeing me. His friend kept telling him he
needed to learn to be alone. His friend said you’ve never been alone and until you can learn to be alone you can never have a good relationship with a woman. I sat there and listened stunned. I never said a word. His friend then said you need to break contact for at least 30 days and see how you feel after those 30 days. If you still want her and love her then you have my support. We spoke about it very shortly after the phone call and I didn’t mention it again. The next day we spent the whole day together he spent the night and asked me to come see him the following night. I drove over we had a decent evening and the next morning he said he was very lucky to have me, he loved me, said I was beautiful and left to go to work. I drove home and went to work myself. That same night he sent me another text message and asked for his freedom. Said he was unhappy and that he will never be happy and that he just wanted to be all alone. He also said he felt tied down. I said OK you’re free. He texted me the next morning and asked how I was doing and I said fine. That evening he texted me and said he would never love anyone like he loved me ever again. He sent me an email two days later ( which is now 2 days ago) and his exact words Were: “ I think we need some time. Both of us. We tried too hard. It makes it difficult for me because I want it to be genuine. Things are crazy for me right now. Things going on in my life and in my head. I need to be alone. This is what I want.” I then wrote back you’ve got it.
I know all of his friends want him to date a local girl because he has told me this. They are pushing different women on him and I know for a fact he has reached out to at least one of them but she is in a relationship with another man and shut him down. One thing, when I was at his house on Monday night he was texting one of his other friends and I walked by him and saw the text message and his friend was asking for my phone number. He asked why and his friend said I want to pump her up. My ex-boyfriend said no! I don’t even know what pump her up means?? Does anyone? I have not contacted him in two days. Neither has he contacted me. We have never gone more than a day without at least texting or seeing each other. He has not blocked me on his phone. he has some large items at my house he will need to get. When I asked when he wanted them he said he was not in a hurry. I will try the no contact rule for at least 30 days but at some point I will have to get my things from him. He knows he has my heart, he knows I am crazy about him, and he knows this has been very upsetting for me. I do get a little insecure sometimes because my ex-husband cheated on me. And the fact I know he spoke to another girl since he broke up with me the first time really makes my insecurities come out. I have asked him point blank twice if he wanted to date others and he keeps saying no... he wants to be all alone. He is going out with friends almost every night.
Is this over, is he playing games, does he really need time away to think or rejuvenate? As his friend advised. Please help. I am very confused and hurt.
Recently things seemed off a bit and before he went on vacation he asked for a break. Surprised the heck out of me so I said ok. He said we would talk when he returned. I texted him the day he returned and he said to call him. We talked for a bit about his trip and I asked if we were still on a break and he said he wanted to break up. I was of course confused. I did do the pleading and begging for a Day And he continued to text me. We saw each other that week and he said we were back together. Two days later he broke up again. I was calm this time. He continued to text for a few more days and then asked to meet me. We met and then had (sex) . he asked to see me every night during the next work week and then texted me on Sat night he felt tied down. He was at a friends home with this happened. I know he talks bad about me to his friends but I know when there are problems in a relationship friends talk about problems. Well, he continued to text me every day again and we spent the next three days together until I went out of town. I didn’t text nor call him while out of town. Then on Sunday out of the blue he asked to talk. I called him and he asked me to meet him that night after I got in. He was with his family on vacation so he was only about 20 minutes from my home. I drove over and we had sex again. He asked me to spend time with his family so I drove over the next day and spent time with them and he asked me to spend the night because the next morning he had to leave at 4 AM to go drop something off back home and wanted me to drive with him. That night his sister was extremely rude to me and I left. The next day he called me a bunch and then we got into an argument about something that happened a month ago. The next day he texted me good morning I replied morning and then Later i was blocked. I sent him an email and asked why he blocked me he replied that he did not. Well i was blocked come to find out but he said his sister did it. .??..
three days later he came to my home and seemed extremely tired so I told him to go lie down and take a nap. He asked me to join him and of course one thing turned into another and we had sex again. He asked me to go back to his home because he needed to mow the grass and pay some bills so I agreed. On the way home one of his friends called and he told him we were back together. His friend started speaking very badly of me the whole trip home. Ex only defended me once and said he just was not done with me yet. Ex told his friend We have very strong feelings for each other and he wanted to continue seeing me. His friend kept telling him he
needed to learn to be alone. His friend said you’ve never been alone and until you can learn to be alone you can never have a good relationship with a woman. I sat there and listened stunned. I never said a word. His friend then said you need to break contact for at least 30 days and see how you feel after those 30 days. If you still want her and love her then you have my support. We spoke about it very shortly after the phone call and I didn’t mention it again. The next day we spent the whole day together he spent the night and asked me to come see him the following night. I drove over we had a decent evening and the next morning he said he was very lucky to have me, he loved me, said I was beautiful and left to go to work. I drove home and went to work myself. That same night he sent me another text message and asked for his freedom. Said he was unhappy and that he will never be happy and that he just wanted to be all alone. He also said he felt tied down. I said OK you’re free. He texted me the next morning and asked how I was doing and I said fine. That evening he texted me and said he would never love anyone like he loved me ever again. He sent me an email two days later ( which is now 2 days ago) and his exact words Were: “ I think we need some time. Both of us. We tried too hard. It makes it difficult for me because I want it to be genuine. Things are crazy for me right now. Things going on in my life and in my head. I need to be alone. This is what I want.” I then wrote back you’ve got it.
I know all of his friends want him to date a local girl because he has told me this. They are pushing different women on him and I know for a fact he has reached out to at least one of them but she is in a relationship with another man and shut him down. One thing, when I was at his house on Monday night he was texting one of his other friends and I walked by him and saw the text message and his friend was asking for my phone number. He asked why and his friend said I want to pump her up. My ex-boyfriend said no! I don’t even know what pump her up means?? Does anyone? I have not contacted him in two days. Neither has he contacted me. We have never gone more than a day without at least texting or seeing each other. He has not blocked me on his phone. he has some large items at my house he will need to get. When I asked when he wanted them he said he was not in a hurry. I will try the no contact rule for at least 30 days but at some point I will have to get my things from him. He knows he has my heart, he knows I am crazy about him, and he knows this has been very upsetting for me. I do get a little insecure sometimes because my ex-husband cheated on me. And the fact I know he spoke to another girl since he broke up with me the first time really makes my insecurities come out. I have asked him point blank twice if he wanted to date others and he keeps saying no... he wants to be all alone. He is going out with friends almost every night.
Is this over, is he playing games, does he really need time away to think or rejuvenate? As his friend advised. Please help. I am very confused and hurt.
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