My Fiancee broke up after 13 years of relationship

[wajai1986]

My Fiancee broke up with me 3 weeks ago after 13 years of relationship, we were together since she was 17 and I was 19. I am the first person who in serious relationship with her. We have lived together for almost 9 years and we engaged 4 years ago.
I knew our sparks was gone years ago but I still love her very much. She finished her PHD in college 2 years ago and got her first job for about 1 and half year now. I felt she has changed since she got her job.
6 months ago, She was breaking up with me, she told me she feel that I am like a family/best friend to her more then a lover, she said she love me but not in love with me, she doesn't want to hurt me because I had been very good to her. She wanted me to be friend with her. I heart was broken, my family was on holiday and I didn't have the key for their house so she let me stay until my family come back from holiday (about 30 days later) , we were still sleeping in the same bed but I can't touch her, but it was so painful for me, I tried to hold her hand many times, some night she let me hold her hand and cuddle, but the next morning she could turn cold on me again, at the end we back together before my family came back.
so after the first break up without moving out from the house and then back together. We feel the love spark again, and she even said to me "I love you" before I said it. (I can't remember when was the last time she said "I love you" to me first). But the spark feeling was gone again the feeling calm down after 2-3 months, until 5 weeks ago we went for holiday together, we went to Santarini, Greece for a week together, we were happy and had fun. After 1 week we came back from holiday, It was the night before her birthday she broke up with me again, She said she thought she may want to marry me after went to Santarini together, but she doesn't. She said she was happy when we were on the holiday, but she wasn't romantically happy. She said she was happy and enjoyed the holiday like going with a friend. She said she doesn't know what is holding her back from marry me, may be I am not the right person for her. I asked her does she want to take a break or actual break up? she wanted to break up. I replied if she really want to break up this time, I will accept it, I checked my phone and it had just pass mid-night, I said happy birthday to her, then she cried and said that "Don't be so good to me" and but I said I don't want to break up with her on her birthday, I don't want her to remember this break up every year on her birthday. She was crying and said " I deserve it". That night we talked about we should take care of herself and myself until very late and then I fell asleep first, the next morning we woke up and I saw there were a lot of tissue paper next to her pillow, so I guess she cried a lot after I fell asleep. We went to a very nice restaurant after work, I also got her flowers. We came home after dinner and we talk and kiss a lot that night until 12:20am, and I said it's time for me to go, we had our last kiss and then I left the house, she was crying and stood at the door and watch me leave.

She told me that we should not contact each other for a while, but we didn't set a time limit, We haven't contact since I left the house 3 weeks ago. She has blocked me on Whatsapp and ignored me on facebook messenger.

Does she broke up with me because she felt bored for this 13 years relationship? I know that she had never be with another man before, so she can not compare if I am the right person for her?
Do you guys / girls think I may have a good chance to get back together with my ex after may be a few months with no contact? Will she just move on?

[Sofia]

Believe it or not, you're not off the hook yet. Even if you've been the most desperate and needy guy in the world and came close to becoming a scary stalker, there is still a chance your ex girlfriend will want you back. Why?

Here is the top 5 reasons your ex girlfriend will want to come back to you:

1. No one will love her like you did. Every relationship is different, and even if she moves on from the break up to the most beautiful guy in the world, their relationship will never compare to yours because the relationship you had with her is uniquely yours alone! No one can take that away from you.

2. Despite the break up or what she has said to you, deep down she still cares about you and misses you. If you can get her to acknowledge and embrace those feelings for you, she can't resist but come back to you.

3. She wants you to want her! Despite what everyone says about desperate and needy, if you gave her too much attention since the break up and suddenly gave her none, watch her start calling you up and wondering how you are. The only reason she's doing so is because secretly she "missed" the attention you gave her. Just remember acting hot and cold can work to some extent but continue to do it and she will catch on.

4. You understand her like no one else can, and no matter what she says, she misses the way the two of you could relate to one another. She'll remember the good times and if you can work on the bad/problem areas, it will be hard for her to say no to coming back.

5. No one wants to be alone, and not to say she'll come back JUST so she is not alone. The human nature thing to do is partner up with people who loves us and who we love. She'll be fighting against what nature has intended for her.

She is staying away from you right now because she feels unhappy with some aspect of the relationship. But if you show her otherwise, then she won't need to "fight" those feelings anymore. Believe it or not, your ex girlfriend wants to come back to you. Make it easier on her by allowing her to trust you and your love again.

[Brett]

Why Begging And Pleading Will Never Get You What You Want

You've probably already tried begging and pleading with your ex girlfriend to take you back. You've apologized a hundred times for everything you did wrong. You've asked her over and over to give you one more chance. You've watched her grow more and more distant the harder you try to repair things.

Begging and pleading makes you look desperate and needy. Your ex girlfriend has no reason to believe anything you say. Rather than begging her to take you back, show her through your actions that you realize you've made mistakes, but you're human, you're willing to accept the consequences, and you're going to continue living and being happy with or without her. That's what will create the attractive forces to pull her back to you.

Believing It's Possible To Get Her Back

One of the most important and least mentioned tips for getting your ex girlfriend back is to actually BELIEVE it's possible. If you're constantly sad, depressed, or desperate because you feel it will never happen, then you're going to do all the wrong things that will push her further away. A positive outlook will yield much better results.

Time And Space Are Your Allies, Not Your Enemy

Many men falsely believe that giving a woman time and space will cause her to forget about them and move into a relationship with another man. Breaking off contact is your best chance to get your ex girlfriend to miss you. When she misses you, she'll remember all the things she loves about you. It will feel like something is missing from her life.

If you constantly contact her and don't give her any time away from you, then you simply become an annoying gnat flying around her face that she will continue to swat at until it's dead or goes away.

[Drndala]

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