I don’t know how to write this without sounding pathetic and hopeless. Started dating the most amazing woman back in September 2017. The moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was the one. I have never had that feeling before. What I didn’t know is all the stuff that was about to hit me head on. 2 months into the relationship she told me that she was a recovering alcoholic. It didn’t really bother me, what did though was the fact that she lied about where she was going every morning. Telling me that she had “work meetings” every morning. But it was AA meetings obviously that she was going to. I made the mistake of talking to my roommate about it and he basically told me everything I didn’t want to hear, which I believed him and let that influence a lot of things. We dated for 7 months and broke up 3 different times in that period. I never wanted to do it in the first place, I loved this woman and would do anything to help her. I got to easily influenced by other people’s opinions and didn’t listen to my own. I love this woman and would do anything to be with her. After the last time we broke up she ended up meeting someone else and that just threw me overboard and really depressed. I cut off all contact with her for 2 months in hopes to reconnect and find a way to get back together. Well that didn’t turn out the way I expected. I broke silence and called her the other night. It was like a phone call from hell. All she could talk about was how amazing and successful this new guy is. He’s a lawyer and I’m a bartender mind you. They just got back from an amazing vacation with his kids and her kids. She kept saying how their going to move in together soon with all the kids and be one big happy family. This what not the phone call I was hoping for. She let this guy know right off the bat about how she was an alcoholic and gave him a much better chance than me. I don’t know where I went wrong but now I can’t even get out of bed. If I do it’s to go and drink! All I can think about is wishing that was me, I love this woman to death and it was a huge slap in face to hear all that and how quickly she could move and start a new life with someone else.
I have never felt this low in life and drinking is the only thing that helps numb the pain. Any help would be great.
I have never felt this low in life and drinking is the only thing that helps numb the pain. Any help would be great.
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