i need help

[lostandfound]

ive been dating the love of my life. for 2.5 years now. we met online after an abusive relationship i had for almost 3 years with my ex.
Things were quick and passionate with us but we had out usual ups and downs.
the first 1.5 years were long distance so we only spent time most weekends and at the beginning my spending time with my friends would often be an issue as we only had 3 days to spend, due to that id rather not tell him when i was out with my friends ( usually girls or my gay best friends) just because the fights were just too much to handle for me emotionally as he tends to run his mouth when we fight. i tip toed around cause i just wanted to make everyone happy.
about a year ago i moved back and he finally met my mother. throughout our relationship, he never told his family about me while i was always keeping mine updated about it. marriage talks were vague but he swears he was concrete about it. despite my brother persuading him to come over for a religious holiday, he took that as a threat and we fought about it.
a month ago we finally went house hunting because i decided to get a place as an investment. he turned those visits into his effort to make the future work but it just frustrated me because i dont think he is serious,
a month ago, an old flame decided to drop me a message and i stupidly replied. i fell back into old patterns and started talking inappropriately to this fling ( sexually not romantically) and i got found out. the shock kicked in first but now i know ive broken the heart of someone who truly loved me. i want him back but hes just angry and verbally abusive now. throwing the fact that he was ready to marry me in my face and i am crushed.

can someone tell me what i can do to save us. ive cut ties with this fling and i couldnt care less about losing him because i want my life back with my love

please please help me.

[Geardaddy]

First of all I am sorry about your breakup.

I hope that this doesn't come out the wrong way but you don't make it sound like he was ready to marry you. You had to lie about being out with your friends? He held it against you when your brother invited him to a religious holiday? He didn't tell his family about you? These all sound like red flags to me. Are you sure that you want him back? Because it doesn't really sound like he is ready or able to be in a committed relationship, and it sounds like that is what you want.

[Drake]

The truth is, the majority of relationships out there are able to be fixed. The main problem is, people tend to screw it up without even knowing it. But this can be avoided. You can get him back forever! A lot of girls make common mistakes, such as calling him, texting over and over, and etc. Big mistake. Nothing will push him away faster then doing these things.

In every single relationship, there are many memories and time spent together. These can be a very powerful ally in your quest to get him back forever. This is doubly true if your relationship was a long one, there are strong feelings anchored, and they don't just disappear. Your job is to simply find a way to relight that flame, and get the spark to ignite into passion!

If you truly want to have a chance to get him back, you need to do what goes against every instinct in your body to do. You need to forget about him. For now at least. Go work on your self image, and just let him go. This will do two things, first it will show him that you are not dependent on him and that you are a strong person. Secondly, it will make him start to miss you!

You should "flip the script" in the relationship in the event you want a real shot at obtaining your man back. He is comfortable being the "prize" and the one that is chased, you need to change this mindset! You be the one that he chases after.

If you are serious about your boyfriend and you want to learn how to get him back forever, you need to get a grasp on psychology. Male psychological triggers, to be exact. These are the thought processes and patterns behind any relationship that once you have learned, will make getting him back incredibly easy.

[Vivian]

It's time to shed these nasty habits and start doing something that truly works. You can't act like a desperate, pouting princess if you want your man back. If you do, he'll simply feel smothered, pressured, and will run as fast as he can in the other direction. Perhaps you've already felt him pulling even further away from you the more you try to convince him to take you back.

If you dumped him in the heat of the moment because of something he did and you have now put what happened into perspective, then you're going to have to do some apologizing and back peddling. However, apologize once. Be sincere, and then let him be.

Now, stop chasing after him, and instead attract him toward you. Here's how.

First, stop acting interested. Stop being available. Stop calling. Stop texting. Stop hanging out around him or checking on his Myspace and Facebook pages. Give him space. Let him miss you. As long as you're still around and a part of his life, he won't be able to miss you. He'll continue to seek out relationships with other girls because he can hang out with them and still has you in his back pocket whenever he needs you.

If you want him to want you back, then he must miss you. He needs to feel like he has lost something. He needs to feel like something special is missing from his life and that his life just isn't the same without you.

In the meantime, you need to stay calm and rational. If you want to get him back, then learn to control your emotions and don't make any decisions for or against the relationship when your emotions are high. Otherwise, you will continue to make mistakes and will continue to do things that will push him further away.

Instead of being the pouty princess, go out and have fun with friends. Meet new people. Take some time for yourself. Being a strong, confident, capable woman who is happy with or without a man is the perfect way to attract him back to you.