i want him back desperately. Need an opinion

[Michelle9110]

Hello everyone. It’s my first time here. I’ve been through hell the last 10 days, I broke up with my boyfriend over a huge fight, he threw me out of the house and told me he doesn’t want to be with me nor see me anymore. It was over something really stupid, about a common friend and I became hysterical and verbally abusive until he blocked me everywhere. Then I went to his house and he sent me home, then unblocked me the next day. He is the kindest person ever and loves me so much, and I also love him so much. We’ve been together theough a lot, I won’t go into details, but he forgave me for many things and so on. We have been together for 2 years, then separated 5 months, then together for 1 uear again. But lately we had a lot of fights over stupid things, my crazy jealousy and stuff like that, mostly because I’ve been having too much free time on my hands. Anyway, this happened last wednesday and on sunday I got a phone call from him telling me that he bought a charger and some other small stuff for me and if I want some of my things back( we didn’t live together, so all I have there is some underwear and socks, he could’ve mailed them to me or just throw them away, anyway...) he told me he wants to meet me and talk, that the relationship is still over but he wants to clarify some things and maybe in the future when I will make some changes, we could give it another try. He had the saddest voice I ever heard, I don’t know what to do, how to behave on monday when I see him. We love each other so much, but we had so many issues lately... sorry for the long and messy post, I had to take this off my chest

[Caleb]

Fights are bound to happen regularly for a healthy intimate relationship, it may not be fun but the experts say it is a necessary ingredient if you want to grow closer. It shows that you're invested enough to want to battle it out rather than just writing each other off.

To successfully get him back after a fight, here are a few simple do's and don'ts to note

Do's

Identify the real underlying issue: First you must remember that your big fight could be something much deeper than the surface issue, it could have been accumulated fights that may have been ignored or a build up of little annoying things, whatever the case identify the real cause of your fight and try to resolve it from the root.

Stay as calm as possible: Even if the fault is his, it is not wise to start pointing fingers and dishing out blame. Men are genetically made to avoid female confrontation that why they storm out when you start sounding like their mother.Take a deep breath, think happy thoughts before you say what you have to say.

Hear him out: His version of the fight maybe different from your own version. Hear what he has to say, take note of each point and address it respectfully when responding. If you are too shocked by his version of the fight(trust me you will), ask questions "how long have you noticed this?" or "What changes would you like to see next? What would you like me to do next time?" "This tells him you're listening and willing to make changes, Men tend to respond well when they are respected

Don'ts

No sarcasm: Women are very good when it comes to sarcasm, do not be tempted to say something nasty or ''bitchy'', the man can get this signal from your tone of voice.

No grudging: Do not hold a grudge over something that has happened in the past, your motto should be, if it didn't bother me enough to talk about it then, then do not bring it up now. Holding on to a grudge leads to anger and blows everything out of proportion.

Demanding the perfect apology: Even though he has admitted he was wrong(or not), do not demand for a perfect apology. Just because you have a different view of what an expected apology should be, do not make a fuss about it, let him still have his ego.

[Nora]

how to behave on monday when I see him.

It is a very difficult thing to regain the love of a person who has rejected you. Rejection itself is very difficult to endure. It is very hard to let go off the person who has been the sole object of your affection for probably a lot of time. To come to terms with the fact that you are no longer needed in someone's life does not have to be that bitter. In fact you can in no time turn things around and get him to like you all over again. I hope the tips presented below help you...

Act happy: the happier you look the more annoyed your boyfriend will be. You need to act normal, socialize, have fun with your girl friends and get involved in a lot of other things.

Get over the urge to be mean: even though you have a string impulse to get back at him, make sure you do nothing of that sort; this will only show how immature you are. You need to fake it!

Look your best: this is very important if you plan to get him back. When you dress in a nice way it shows that you are comfortable with yourself and are more enthusiastic about the new things around you. This will surely make him jealous!

Do not ever appear to be needy in front of him: when you behave like you are depressed and need him, this will only make you look desperate. You need to be strong on your part; you should look as cheerful as possible.

You should not talk or give him any attention: you guys are over. He has cleared that fact. After this has happened make sure you do nothing in order to make him feel that you are his girlfriend. You need to behave like a complete stranger or in some cases as a simple friend. Do not give him anything more than that.

You can always lead them on: you do not have to find a new guy friend, but flirting around with a new guy is not a bad option. Guys tend to get jealous very easily. You can surely introduce them to your 'new' guy friend you recently met.

Be cool: do not let yourself be depressed because he dumped or simply because it's over. There are plenty of amazing guys out there who deserve you more than your ex.