Ex girfriend talking about me and finding it hard to see me, how do I get her back

[Lars77]

So, my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 1 year ago after being together and living together for about 8 months. We kept in contact, went out for dinner a couple of times and had sex after the breakup. But shortly after she started seeing her old boyfriend, they got engaged shortly after that. A couple months ago people started telling me that things are not that great in her new relationship and that she doesn’t really like her new boyfriend that much and their planed weeding is not happening. Have also recently been told by one of her best girlfriend, how happens to be my brothers girlfriend, that she has been talking about me for weeks and is finding it hard to see me. The same best friend to my ex gf have now told me that my ex gf and her boyfriend/fiancé have ended their relationship and she has moved back home to the same city where I live. Her friend also told me to be a little bit “cool”, guess she means that I should not start pursuing my ex even though she is now single but wait? So what does all this mean and what should I to do as I still have very strong feelings for me ex girlfriend and would like us to get back together. Any suggestion?

[Caroline]

First of all, you need to understand that a breakup is normal so don't lose hope. You never know, your ex might be missing you as well. But in order for her to miss you, it's important to apply this essential rule: No contact.

There are certain questions you may want to ask when it comes to this rule:

· How long should I wait before I call her?

· Will she call me?

· What do I do if she doesn't call?

What you need to do is forget about whether she's going to call you or not or don't worry about how long it will take. What you need to worry about is how to get on with your life and how you can vent out all your negative energy.

Why is the No Contact rule important?

During the no contact rule, you can escape the emotional turmoil that you experience after a breakup. It's going to be tough facing work or family when your girlfriend leaves because like most people, your life just got thrown out of balance.

But if you give each other space, then you can give each other time to breathe and take a break from this period. Don't worry because it's likely that your ex will not forget about you during this time. In fact, to refresh your relationship, a break from each could be just what you need.

Getting on with your life is not only healthy for you but it will also make her miss you. She'll start to wonder why you haven't called yet or if you've forgotten all about her. You need to stay calm and composed in order to avoid looking desperate and needy.

What do you do when she does call?

· Don't get too excited and enter the conversation in a light-hearted fashion

· Don't give her the impression that you're depressed because she broke up with you

· Talk to her casually and make her think that you're doing fine

· Be sure that you give off an air of confidence

· Do not talk about the relationship

Now remember, if she does get angry because you used the no contact rule on her, let her rant and explain to her that it was for the best. Tell her that you both needed some time to think things through. This is actually a good sign because it shows that she's reacting to you not calling her.

If she wants to meet with you, then accept her invitation but make sure it's not an intimate setting. Try something casual where you can talk, like going out for coffee.

If she talks about the relationship then go with it but don't agree to take her back right this instant. If you want to get her back, then remember that what you say or do counts. It can mean the difference between getting her back and losing her completely. If you don't act cool and confident, then you won't be able to re-attract her and there goes all the hard work you did during the no contact rule.

[Anthony]

The sad but honest truth is that usually once a woman makes up her mind about breaking up with a guy they can become rather stubborn and resistant to any sort of logic. Promises fall on dead ears and any attempt to get her to come back to you by being nice and understanding will only tend to make matters worse.

So what can you do to get her back and is it possible to get her back? Yes, it is indeed possible to get her back. It happens every day. Couples get back together every day in every country on this planet. Keep this in mind when you have those moments when you think that all hope is lost. All hope is not lost and you definitely can get her back if that is your desire.

So what can you do to get her back? As I said before, no amount of talking things over or calling her or apologizing is going to get her back. As a matter of fact, anything that you might think of doing to try to get her back is probably a bad idea. Check out your track record so far and ask yourself what the score is? Anything and everything that you might logically think would work to get her back isn't going to work

This means that if you have an urge to call her you should stop and not call her. If you get the bright idea that you should send her flowers and a poem, stop and resist the urge to send her those flowers. Save your money for flowers after you get her back, ok? If you think that writing her an email or a text message to check up on her might open the doors of communication, stop and put that thought right out of your head. These things will only annoy her right now and drive her further away from you and kill any chance that you might have of ever getting her back.

Take some time and let the dust settle. Yes, time is of the essence and the window of opportunity is rather small but this is a necessary part of the plan that will ultimately lead you to the day when you will get her back. This time is necessary to allow her to get past the breakup and all the things that were said and done since she broke up with you. Soon all the bad memories will fade a bit and in time she will be more receptive to talking with you and even seeing you.

While she is spending time alone and processing everything from your breakup you should get busy doing two things. You need to get yourself back together both physically and emotionally and you need to come up with a plan to get her back. You need to gain control over your emotions so when you do see her you don't fall apart and do a repeat performance of what she has seen so far since the breakup. Physically, you should pull yourself together and start eating right and exercising so you look your best when that day comes.

As far as coming up with a plan to get her back; you are going to have to resort to playing dirty I am afraid if you ever hope to get her back. If being nice and heaping loads of attention upon her isn't working then you should think of being a bit more cool and keeping your distance a little bit. If apologizing doesn't work then saying that you're sorry should never come from your mouth for a very long time. Read up on human psychology and learn how to use reverse psychology and psychological hot buttons to bring about the outcome that you desire. And if you feel even the least little bit weird about using psychology against her... trust me, women do this type of stuff all the time. Of course they call more politically correct terms like flirting or persuasion. So don't even give it a second thought.