Question about remaining friends with a ex after a break up?

[TipRock]

When a couple breaks ups and still remain friends, why is it most of the time that their friendship isn't that strong after the break up?


Most couples that I knew who broke up with each other and still remained friends were not that close of friends with each other after they broke up. Like even though they were still friends, they still barely saw each other or still even barely talked to each other at all after they broke up.

It's stuff like that, that makes me not want to ever date one of my female bestfriends ever again, because I'm scared if we break up, our friendship will be forever damaged from it like it was with my once bestfriend who broke up with me last year. I don't see or talk to her anymore at all, and she now has a new boyfriend (who got her pregnant).

[Realigned]

In an intimate relationship, both people can become quite vulnerable (that is, if they're truly intimate with each other :-) In the event of a break-up, one or both can feel ashamed to be around the other, knowing that the other has gained access to parts of them they wouldn't share with just anybody else. This is one big reason people, during a break-up argument, say things like "I never want to see you again". However, this can be nurtured in a mature way so that both people can feel safe moving forward. It all depends on if both are willing to put the future relationship health in a higher regard than their own needs/ego.
So my question to you would be; why did she say she broke up with you, and how did you both handle the transition afterwards?

[Julia]

Most couples that I knew who broke up with each other and still remained friends were not that close of friends with each other after they broke up

Yes, they aren't suppose to be as close as they both were before the breakup. The reason being that they are just friends now and nothing more.

[TipRock]

In an intimate relationship, both people can become quite vulnerable (that is, if they're truly intimate with each other :-) In the event of a break-up, one or both can feel ashamed to be around the other, knowing that the other has gained access to parts of them they wouldn't share with just anybody else. This is one big reason people, during a break-up argument, say things like "I never want to see you again". However, this can be nurtured in a mature way so that both people can feel safe moving forward. It all depends on if both are willing to put the future relationship health in a higher regard than their own needs/ego.
So my question to you would be; why did she say she broke up with you, and how did you both handle the transition afterwards?

The only reason my girlfriend gave to me to why she decided to break up with me is that she said that she just didn't feel like being with me anymore. We were kinda friends, until I found she was pregnant. See the thing is that I thought she would eventually realize that she made a mistake when she broke up with me and then started dating that other guy, and then she would break up with him and start dating me again, but she ended up getting pregnant with his child, and thus that's probably not going to happen now. So I decided to stop being friends at all with her now.