First love breakup pains

[Slapsh0t]

I am so incredibly hurt right now. The first love of my life, the man who loved me and cherished me and cared for me, just broke up with me two days ago. It was his first week of college and he gave a bunch of excuses as to why he couldn't be in a relationship with me through a bunch of tears. From me doing cocaine for the first time at a party this weekend (he couldn't "have fun" because he was worrying about me) to him not being able to be "in a relationship" to me "deserving better".
We've only been dating each other for five months, but met on tinder nine months ago. At first it was just hooking up, but we both caught feelings, and acknowledge them and started dating. It was amazing. He was so kind and loving and texted me all the time. He flew me down to Florida to meet his dad's family, and also drove me to New Hampshire to meet his mom (they're divorced).
But then he started to grow complacent. Didn't put as much effort into the relationship as before. At first I thought it was just the honeymoon period wearing off. We were and would be long distance for a while, since I was going to school 300 miles away. He said he could do it, and that he'd be able to keep it in his pants and he promised to wait a year with me before deciding anything. But, low and behold, he broke up with me the first week of his college experience.
I don't know if I was always a temporary placeholder. I was the one that wanted a relationship, but he told me he loved me, he bought a $200 lizard for me, I met his parents and they loved me, flew me to Florida for free. They promised he was always more mature than his age. He updated his Facebook profile status, picture, posted about me on instagram. All his relatives know about me. He said he would ask me for my hand in marriage during the honey moon period. I was also his first real relationship, and the first girl he "felt this way" about. He cried admitting this.
But he also warned me how hard long distance was. He was taking a gap year to play hockey, and that's when we met. He didn't have many friends, as he was always socially awkward. In fact, I think I was his closest one and the only one he'd like and text. I feel like he was just using me for companionship, before he went to college, where he is actually well liked. He made new friends, and met potential girlfriends that weren't me, then decided I wasn't worth effort.
I don't know. Everyone is telling me to forget about him. But the pain is so raw and real, and is the worst I have ever felt. I always wanted love, and believed I got it. It just hurts to think it might not have been genuine. I just want to text him and ask him for the truth but everyone tells me that's a terrible idea. I just know that this is the worst pain I've ever felt, the worst betrayal I've ever had. It doesn't help that I'm socially awkward as well, and it's incredibly hard for me to talk to guys. I feel like this was the one shot I'd get to find someone I connected with, someone that fit all my criteria in a man and someone that cared for me.

[Bradwin]

One of the proven tactics to get your man back is to get a handle on your emotions. As women, we're notorious for wearing our hearts on our sleeves. We think nothing of telling our man how we feel whether we're still with him or not. Have you been tempted to call him up when you're crying to tell him that you can't live without him? Have you camped outside his apartment all in an attempt to accidentally bump into him so you can pour your heart out? Doing anything like this is a sure fire way to ruin the relationship for good. Any man will tell you that dealing with an overly emotional woman is unappealing and uncomfortable. If you stand any chance of a future with him, stop crying when you're around him and keep all thoughts of your life being ruined to yourself.

Any woman who has ever been involved with a man will tell you that they want what they can't have. This includes things like cars, jobs and money. The same holds true of women. If a man knows he has a woman in his grasp, she instantly loses a little appeal to him. If he knows that she'd do anything for him, she becomes even less attractive. Since this is the opposite of how women feel about men, it's often easy to overlook what a powerful tool it can be when it comes to getting a man back. If your ex knows that you'd wait the remainder of your life for him, he'll never come back to you. He doesn't find this endearing or romantic. He finds it pathetic and desperate. Therefore you've got to start thinking and acting like a man. Tell him that you're okay with the break up and then move on. Start going out with friends again. Put a smile on your face. Show him that you can live and even thrive without him. If you do that he'll start to question whether breaking up with you was a good idea. The instant he senses that you don't want him anymore, he'll want you more.

[Jane]

Understanding how to get him interested again by ignoring him is all about creating a feeling of loneliness and a sense of curiosity in him. Our inner instinct is what drives us to continuously try and talk with our ex after the break up. This is why so many women make the unforgivable mistake of calling their ex asking him to take them back or writing him a heartfelt letter that he'll probably glance at and never read. You can't appeal to a man's heart in this way. It's just not the way men work. You have to instead appear to toss him aside. If he feels that you've put the relationship behind you and moved on, that's going to get his attention and actually push some emotional buttons within him so he wants you back again.

Before you venture out on your quest to ignore him, you should be doing one thing. You need to set the stage so that your absence really does impact him. Obviously, you could just disappear for a few weeks and that will work. However, if you have a very brief conversation with him before and then you cut off all contact, he'll feel your absence sooner.

Call your ex boyfriend up today since there's no time like the present. Ask how he is and when he asks how you are, tell him you're doing really well. Then let him know that you've called just to tell him that you're sorry for the way things went and that you wish him nothing but the best in the future. Keep your tone happy and focused. Don't break down during this call. If you're unsure of whether or not you can keep your emotions in check, don't call until you're sure you can. Be the person to end the call and ensure that the last thing you say to him is, "take care of yourself." Then hang up and then disappear.

What you've accomplished with that one, very generic call is priceless. You've allowed your boyfriend to see that you're fine without him. Once he realizes that you're not calling him anymore or chasing after him, he'll suddenly come to the realization that you're over him. That's what you want to have happen because when a man feels that, his ego kicks into high gear and he'll do whatever he can to prove that you still need him.