She broke up, but keeps texting.

[Anon223]

Hello. I’ve been dating a girl for almost a year. There is a little distance between us. It’s mostly been online and through phone. We have shared a lot of information, we got along great, started out as friends but it grew. She has been hurt in the past so I didn’t push or pressure anything. She has some issues where she won’t fully open up to me. But I respected and hoped in time things would change. I gave her all of me and was always there when she needed me. Well the last month has kind of been off, she takes things the wrong way or ways they weren’t meant and I try to explain to her it’s not how it was meant but there was like no getting through. I have to believe it’s from past where she was in a mentally abusive relationship. She always talked down on herself and I’d try to pick her back up and make her realize she was none of those things. We got in a pretty big argument last week because I was feeling like I had to beg for her to talk to me and of course she took things and twisted. It’s always been ok for her to do things but wrong for me. Anyways she said she needed space and time to figure herself out and get herself together. So I acknowledged and respected her wishes. Gave her space and every few days just said good morning or made sure she was ok. Well day before yesterday she told me she thought it was best to end it. It was hurting both of us and it was for the best. I said no problem, I respect that, best of wishes to you, I appreciate the time we did spend together. Good luck. So it was silence until last night she started snap chatting me. Sent me a picture of her, then started messaging saying she was struggling, it was really hard on her, she does miss me, she hates herself, she wished she had more time with me, she tries to be strong but she gets weak, etc. i replied saying she needed to figure out what she wanted, follow her heart, I can’t make the decision for her, and that she has all the time with me she wants if she allows herself. She changed subject and started talking about something random then fell asleep. This morning she said sorry she still stands by her decision and it was only her feelings at the moment. Now I’m not desperate, but I understand her past and how it may cause conflict. Her mind may be telling her one thing and her heart saying another. But why is she messaging me if she wanted to end it? Is she playing mind games? Or is she really confused and doesn’t really wanna end it? Should I keep replying or just ignore? I don’t wanna be strung along, but I also really cared and loved her and don’t want her to feel like I didn’t care. My mind is going crazy. Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.

[Bradwin]

When an ex girlfriend is still texting you after the break up, there's a definite reason behind it. Actually, there are several. Some of them are good, some of them are bad, but all of them can be used as indicators as to where she is mentally and emotionally.

And if you want to get her back? You'll need to know exactly what these texts mean, and how each of them should be properly handled.

Reasons Your Ex Girlfriend Still Texts You

Let's get one thing straight: it's always hard to let go. Even if she's the one who broke things off, you and your girlfriend shared time together. You have memories, you share special feelings that still exist. Nothing can change that except TIME.

For this reason, time is certainly of the essence. The longer you wait before acting, the further away your ex girlfriend will go. Mentally, emotionally, she'll drift away if you don't do something to keep her interested, which is why moving quickly and acting properly is so vital to making her want you again.

Back to the texting... an ex who texts you is still thinking about you. This is undeniable, but don't get excited just yet. There's no guarantee she's interested, or even thinking of wanting you back.

Yet your ex can't bury her feelings so quickly. Those feelings are still there, and there are specific reconnection techniques you can learn to bring those feelings back to the surface. This is one of the later - and most important - of the steps to getting her back.

So yes, it's good that she's texting you. But should you text her back? Well... that's where things get sticky...

What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Texts

An ex who keeps texting after the break up is leaning on your old relationship for support. She wants you to be "there" (in case she needs you), but not THERE (romantically). This does you absolutely no good, but it benefits her for several reasons:

• She gets the comfort of still talking to you
• By answering her texts she feels secure that you're still interested
• Your ex girlfriend gets to know exactly where you are (i.e. not going anywhere)

All of these things give her strength. They give her willpower. Worst of all, they give her the confidence to continue with the breakup.

This is the complete opposite of what you want. After a girl breaks up with you, her first priority is to make sure her decision was the right one. She'll attempt to justify that decision to herself, to friends, and sometimes to family. In short, she wants to know she DID THE RIGHT THING.

By seeing how much you're still into her, and by talking to you through text messages, she's ratifying that decision. The more you chase her by answering her texts, the easier it is for her to run. Why? Because she knows SHE HAS YOU. She can go out, see other people, and eventually drift away... all with the confidence of knowing you're a fallback plan in case something goes wrong.

"But I don't mind being her plan B. I can wait for her... "

That's what you're thinking, right? This is what you told her?

Well forget that. That type of thinking is lame and desperate, at a critical time when you need to be as strong and Alpha as you possibly can.

Best Thing To Do When Texting Your Ex

Want to know the greatest thing you can do when an ex girlfriend text-messages you? Totally ignore her. Yes, I know you want her back. And yes, I know ignoring that text will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done. But believe me, writing her back is only justifying her decision to stay broken up.

She's pushed you away, but she wants to keep you at arm's length. She wants the comfort of realizing she can have you back at any time, but with that knowledge comes the authority to go out and give some other guy another try.

[Nora]

I will suggest you stop replying her text. When you don't reply her text, she will know she has to make the decision to be with you. Whereas, if you keep replying her text, she will know she has you at her beck and call and can decide to leave and come back anytime and you will still be there for her.