What's his intention with my daughter after the mutual break up?

[loseecy]

Hi all, my college daughter and her boyfriend just broke up recently after a 2 year-relationship. During daughter's road trip back college, they got into a fight then boyfriend told daughter he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and the love has changed because they have separate life goals. So he wanted a casual one with her instead. Daughter is a successful student and he is still searching life goals and always wanted to travel after college. Daughter told him she was the "date-to-get-married" type and he was down and agreed to plan for the future. It took her 6 months to a go into this relationship with him. She was his first girlfriend. Daughter was very upset for wasting her 2 years and broke up with him on the phone during the road trip. He was devastated, calling his sister and his mom, going crazy on texts with daughter and demanded a talk in person. but he agreed to the break up after they talked in person. Daughter said he was very sad and didn't want to leave after meeting up. But they agreed to stay friends.

Daughter handled it really well and seems fine and even looks pretty happy. They always see each other in school but she doesn't try to make conversation with him. She is friendly but not engaged. Out of the blue, he texted her to ask for a "let's air everything out" talk. Daughter was confused but agreed to on a later day. Her boyfriend and I talked a little and he apologized for hurting her but I don't have a feeling that he wants to offer her the serious relationship option again. He told me he is still sad and have deep feeling for her. He doesn't like how she is not friendly with her? Well they just broke up, what does he expect? He was stalking her social media for a little but has stopped these few days. Obviously either he is not obsessed with her or he really knows how to carry out self control, well he is known to be really good in having his emotions in-check and self-control though. A little more note to this. Daughter is an athlete and so is he and she is very popular in school and among guys. Some guys who are not friends with him on his team have shown interest on her already. Daughter and I are like friends and she likes my input so should I tell her not to meet up with him? I don't see a point to. What do you think?

[bunnyhabit]

he is obviously looking for an open relationship with her with no strings attached. your daughter is much more mentally mature than him. he may be just hanging on to her till someone else comes along. if your daughter is dating to get married she should circulate more. she needs to date many guys before she decides who will give her a fulfilled, happy married life. he obviously will never provide her with that. i suggest you parent her gently to be more knowledgeable about men by dating at least ten guys before marriage and dump this ex as a potential husband

[loseecy]

Ok apparently he went to her house and waited to talk to her last night after the post-game party. that daughter went. He told her he wanted her back but does not want to talk about the future even though he does see her as the one. He said he wanted to go to China after graduate but not sure for how long. He confessed his love to her and told her he is living in pain. He also said love like what they had was hard to come by these days. I found this genuine but I always see immaturity in the whole thing. He probably doesn't know what it is in his mind. I feel he just missed the old good times and can't let go because daughter is a popular girl in school. Daughter told him she still loves him but doesn't know what to think and can't process yet. She walked away from the talk and texted him later telling him she would rather talk later when her mind is clear.

What do you think? What should I expect to happen? Daughter does love this guy but she is such a strong and smart girl she always knows what best for herself. Should I worry?

[bunnyhabit]

she is chasing a loser that giving her excuses not reasons. she needs more dating experience with other guys to see clearly the different types of men. she is trying to make a decision without any comparisons to other potential boyfriends. she seems like an intelligent girl that will understand this logic.

he may get serious if he sees her enjoying herself with other men. jealousy works wonders on guys that think they own someone future.

[bunnyhabit]

she should circulate more. she needs to date many guys before she decides who will give her a fulfilled, happy married life. he obviously will never provide her with that. i suggest you parent her gently to be more knowledgeable about men by dating at least ten guys before marriage and dump this ex as a potential husband

[Roy]

Daughter and I are like friends and she likes my input so should I tell her not to meet up with him? I don't see a point to.

You are right, there is no point meeting up. The fact is that he isn't ready for a serious relationship, and will never be ready for one. He wants to meet up because he feels guilty for breaking up with your daughter, and has no intention of reconciling. If he wanted to reconcile, he would have done that when they first met after the breakup.

I'll advice you tell your daughter not to meet up with him because it will end up bringing up old wounds, and she'll be more hurt after the meeting. Now that she has began to heal from the breakup, she doesn't need anything to make her depressed and down trodden again.

[loseecy]

He came to her house and asked her back. He was very emotional and told daughter he still loves her very much and the connection that they had was rare these days. He also said he can see her in his future. Daughter is a pre-med and already on track with all she needs to apply. He told her he will not sit at her apartment and wait for her at home while she's at med school. He wants to travel to China and explore. He wants her to be the one that supports his dreams and will wait for him. He's an Asian Study major btw. He is a very nice guy all in all. Everyone on his sport team loves him. They support him so much that they were mad at my daughter for not wanting to make up with him even though they don't know the whole story. I like him at most but also find him a little distant but maybe it's his personality? His mom and I talk sometimes and she even said he is very private and he only tells his sister the details and asks for her opinions.

Daughter is still trying to ignore her inner feelings and avoiding this relationship. I think since she is really hurt and is a varsity sport athlete, she doesn't want that to affect her performance. And there's a guy now in another state who has liked her since last year graduated from her school is talking to her. He is just like daughter, very smart and will be in med school too. I think this helps her to distract herself a little. I don't know what truly she is feeling now. I know she still loves him a lot but being intelligent also stops you from doing irrational stuff I hope....