I need help...

[justinyo]

Hi guys. So, I was (still am) in love with this girl and we were literally PERFECT for each other. We were planning on moving in, getting married and stuff. She broke up with me last Sunday, telling me she did not have feelings for me anymore and just wanted to be friends. I believed her because she was hesitating to kiss me or even hug me. And I've also learnt that my clinginess, insecurity, and sensitiveness made me seem less like a man and made her less attracted to me. I basically fixed these issues and changed how I behaved. I continued to talk to her but I made it seem like I was moving on. Well, it worked and made her jealous. 2 days ago, she regained feelings for me and told me she didn't want me to move on and that she still loved me, and wants to be together. But she also said something along the lines of "If I date you again, there is a possibility that I will fall out of love with you again, if that is fine with you." She also said "I love you a lot but I don't think I'm the right one for you" a few times. BUT. Before she told me that she still wanted to be together with me, she said "I absolutely love you. But with how I am, I can't make you happy. I don't want to be friends with you because I don't want to experience first-hand of you treating me like a friend instead of someone you love. I want you to move on without me in your life, so I can see you enjoy your life from afar and be fine without me. That's how much I care about you." She said all this shit like "fuck you ugly ass asian, i was never in love with you, it was just to pass the time" but i knew she didn't mean it and she just wanted me to hate her and move on easier. She then blocked me on every social media but 2 hours later coming back and crying that she's sorry and she didn't mean any of it and she wants me back. So I comforted her and said I'll always be here for you.


Then 2 DAYS LATER today... She tells me she lost feelings for me again and she just broke up with me again... She said "When the thought of you being with another girls comes to my mind, it doesn't make me jealous anymore. But it still did a few days ago. And I think time made my feelings for you fade away." I really don't know what I did wrong? Is it because I said yes to her too easily when she said she wanted to be together again so it made me seem easy and felt less attracted to me...? After she said what she said today, I played it off cool but I still felt some attraction she has for me from what she says, and when I say "I love you" she still says "I love you" back. We also had some dirty talk and she admitted she would still want to have sex with me. So I'm kind of confused as to if she's still in love with me?


On a side note, she never took off the promise ring she got for us from the day she broke up with me until now (idk if she still has it on). And one thing I noticed is, she says that she lost feelings for me because I'm "young", we have almost broken up because of this before, and she have said this is one of the main reasons. To note, we have a 5 year age gap. But if it really was about the age gap I don't think she would have confessed to me in the first place...


I would LOVE some advice, I am really lost in this. Thanks!

[ArtDecade]

Hi Justin,
It seems like she is really confused. And judging by all that she said about not loving you anymore and all that, I really think you should break contact with her. I know it's hard to let go of someone you love, but if she really was meant to be with you, she wouldn't be saying that she doesn't love you anymore and all that bull shit. I suggest you break contact with her for at least a couple of months. This will help her understand her real feelings about you and vice versa. Let things cool down for both of you.

[Clay]

She keeps falling in love and out of love, so it's obvious she's confused about her feelings. The fact is that she has lost interest in you, but only trying to keep you around in order not to lose you.

Therefore, I will advice you dump her before she does, because she's eventually going to dump you. It's best to move on and get another girl, and don't come back to her again even if she wants you back.

[TheDarkOne]

Move on. Find someone who knows what they want and doesn't treat you like a puppet on a string.