10 years gone help

[Cwalkerlews]

Me and my girl I’ve been together for 10 years we have a child that is seven years old now I have not been perfect in our relationship but I never did cheat. After 10 years her dad died all of a sudden from a mosquito bite and after that everything went wrong. She started going out and partying every weekend staying out until the sun came up stopped telling me where she was going stop kissing me stop doing the stuff that I was used to for 10 years. We started fighting and arguing over what she was doing and every time that that happened she would bring stuff up from the past all the way till nine years ago that I did wrong. I listened and once I figured out what was her problem with me I was willing to change and try my hardest to be what she wanted me to be and help her where she felt lonely and our relationship because I didn’t know that she felt that way. But even after I started changing she started making excuses and blaming me for everything including the reason why she was going out all hours of the night and party and when we have a seven-year-old little girl at home she wouldn’t answer any of my phone calls when she was out or most of the time even let me know that she was OK or where she was at. After this continues on about five almost 6 months things started happening in the bedroom along with her pushing me away that made me start to suspect that she’s cheating on me which in the end after about eight months I finally got it out of her that she did sleep with someone and that crushed me. But before I found that out and she was out partying and we were still fighting she would always tell me she would want us to fix us and want us to work but I was the only one changing and trying. Now here comes the part that I can’t wrap my head around we have been broke up for about two months now if not less than that. And she is still contacting me text messaging me wondering if I’m OK how I’m doing she even took me out on my birthday and wished me a happy birthday that morning. Lately we have been texting and talking on the phone quite a bit with no fighting or arguing but every once in a while I can tail out of nowhere that she’s purposely trying to start a fight with me and I don’t get it.. and before you ask yes I’m still in love with her and I still want to be with her and I still want to fix this because she is my life she’s my everything.. I have beat my head against the wall trying to figure out why is she telling me she wants to fix this she wants things to work then turn around and doing stupid stuff or if she hates me like she says she does or she doesn’t care for me or she doesn’t want to be with me why does she always want to know what I’m doing where I’m at if I’m OK and she’s not asking me she’s asking my mom or asking one of our friends then on my birthday night she found out I was talking to another girl and literally got jealous and pissed off about I have beat my head against the wall trying to figure out why is she telling me she wants to fix this she wants things to work then turn around and doing stupid stuff or if she hates me like she says she does or she doesn’t care for me or she doesn’t want to be with me why does she always want to know what I’m doing where I’m at if I’m OK and she’s not asking me she’s asking my mom or asking one of our friends then on my birthday night she found out I was talking to another girl and literally got jealous and mad about it.. what does this all mean any advice will be grateful One of the parts I left out as I had to leave 1000 miles to go to work for 10 days and she texted or called me almost every day wanting to know if I’m OK if I’m all right or called my mom to find out if she’s heard from me. Since I’ve been back we haven’t fought or argued because honestly I can’t do it anymore it’s tearing me apart. She’s told me she’s hated me that she don’t love me anymore and also called me a piece of shit when she is angry at me but I have never said any of those things to her and I won’t either????

[Cwalkerlews]

Sorry for it repeated itself iPhone did it

[Evelyn]

From all you have said, your girlfriend still call and text you because she still have feelings for you. She realized she still loves you when you left her. Like the saying absent makes the heart grow fonder, the same is true in this case. So, if you still love her, you both can work together to make the relationship better.

[Anthony]

Let's get one thing straight: it's always hard to let go. Even if she's the one who broke things off, you and your girlfriend shared time together. You have memories, you share special feelings that still exist. Nothing can change that except TIME.

For this reason, time is certainly of the essence. The longer you wait before acting, the further away your ex girlfriend will go. Mentally, emotionally, she'll drift away if you don't do something to keep her interested, which is why moving quickly and acting properly is so vital to making her want you again.

Back to the texting... an ex who texts you is still thinking about you. This is undeniable, but don't get excited just yet. There's no guarantee she's interested, or even thinking of wanting you back.

Yet your ex can't bury her feelings so quickly. Those feelings are still there, and there are specific reconnection techniques you can learn to bring those feelings back to the surface. This is one of the later - and most important - of the steps to getting her back.

So yes, it's good that she's texting you. But should you text her back? Well... that's where things get sticky...

What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Texts

An ex who keeps texting after the break up is leaning on your old relationship for support. She wants you to be "there" (in case she needs you), but not THERE (romantically). This does you absolutely no good, but it benefits her for several reasons:

• She gets the comfort of still talking to you
• By answering her texts she feels secure that you're still interested
• Your ex girlfriend gets to know exactly where you are (i.e. not going anywhere)

All of these things give her strength. They give her willpower. Worst of all, they give her the confidence to continue with the breakup.

This is the complete opposite of what you want. After a girl breaks up with you, her first priority is to make sure her decision was the right one. She'll attempt to justify that decision to herself, to friends, and sometimes to family. In short, she wants to know she DID THE RIGHT THING.

By seeing how much you're still into her, and by talking to you through text messages, she's ratifying that decision. The more you chase her by answering her texts, the easier it is for her to run. Why? Because she knows SHE HAS YOU. She can go out, see other people, and eventually drift away... all with the confidence of knowing you're a fallback plan in case something goes wrong.

"But I don't mind being her plan B. I can wait for her... "

That's what you're thinking, right? This is what you told her?

Well forget that. That type of thinking is lame and desperate, at a critical time when you need to be as strong and Alpha as you possibly can.

Best Thing To Do When Texting Your Ex

Want to know the greatest thing you can do when an ex girlfriend text-messages you? Totally ignore her. Yes, I know you want her back. And yes, I know ignoring that text will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done. But believe me, writing her back is only justifying her decision to stay broken up.

She's pushed you away, but she wants to keep you at arm's length. She wants the comfort of realizing she can have you back at any time, but with that knowledge comes the authority to go out and give some other guy another try.