She's so confusing...

[Kint]

It's been 2 years since we broke-up with my Girl (on my birthday lol). And currently she has a boyfriend.

Now, she chats me unusually, I think once a month or two. She only wanted to know how am I or how's my life now... Then here's me, responding her chats casually, sometimes I 'seenzoned' her.
(I didn't accept her friend request on Facebook but only on Messenger)

One time, I asked her straightforward, "Why are you messaging me from time to time? It can be the cause of argument with your boyfriend!".
-she responds that her boyfriend didn't know about me and she misses our conversations that have sense (about family-problems, work, future, etc). And she also said when she open-up a conversations like that to her boyfriend, the guy always responds with "you're so emo, drama!".
(BTW before we got into relationship we were close friends from the beginning. So basically I'm her comforter when she shares her dramas in life).

At present, it is still the same situation. But I make a way to end up the conversation immediately but usually I only seenzoned her. Though she always telling me that I'm a 'snub' now, that I've changed.

Even I'm her ex and I don't have the right to advise her, I told her "to breakup her boyfriend, I think you're not happy" (but my approach is like a close friend).
But she only responds that she really love the guy. So I said "Okay. Go on. It's your own life and decision. I'm out of that. Best of luck!"

SO TO MY DEAR FRIENDS HERE. I just want to have opinions about this unusual ex of mine. I really don't get why is she so consistent and persevere in approaching me. Hope you can enlighten me. Thanks a lot.


PS
-We were highscool classmates, but it was onetime on alumni homecoming on our highscool batch when we saw ourselves again and getting to know each other after all the times we graduated in college and settle a job.
-And because of change of work location we have 'Long Distance Relationship' and THE LACK of communication starts that leads to breakup.
-Sorry this take so long. Sorry for my English. This is my first to time to seek advises and opinions about relationship problems on any forums in the internet. Thanks a lot again.

[Anthony]

Since your ex girlfriend still contact you, it shows she isn't over you. Obviously, she still misses you and thinks about the good times she had with you. So, if you still love her, then you have an opportunity to get her back. Otherwise, tell her to stop contacting you and never respond to her messages again.

[Bella]

If you were on the receiving end of an unwanted breakup, it's hard to know how to interpret these mixed signals. At this point you're looking for signs that your ex might want you back, but at the same time you're also trying to be realistic. That said, an ex who still texts you after breaking things off is definitely not finished with seeing you yet.

Now this doesn't necessarily mean your ex boyfriend or girlfriend wants to get back together right now. However, the interest they're showing is certainly more than friendly contact. There's no such thing as making innocent small talk - not after dating someone and sharing such an intimate connection. Chances are good your ex still has unresolved feelings and emotions toward you, and he or she doesn't know exactly how to handle them right now.

Think about it this way: if your ex was totally and completely finished with you he or she wouldn't be talking to you at ALL. There wouldn't be calls, emails, or texts from your ex... these types of contact would drop off dramatically the moment your ex made the decision to move forward without you.

So what does your ex want? Why are they hammering out text-messages even after the romance is over?

Simply put, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is still thinking about you. Despite the fact that you're no longer dating, your ex hasn't let go of the idea of having you in their life. They'd like to keep you around, but they can't do it directly. So they do the next best thing: they string you along with random texts and scattered phone calls designed to keep you just within arm's reach.

You see, your ex doesn't want you back. At least not right now, anyway. Instead, your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is trying to keep you hanging on while they try out their new single life. Knowing that you're still on the other end of the phone, even through something as impersonal as text-messaging, allows your ex the confidence and security of knowing they could always go backwards if need be. This enables your ex to move forward, and possibly meet somebody else.

Responding To Texts From Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Answering your ex's text messages at this point is a big mistake. Go back and forth with them right now, and you're doing nothing more than playing the game. Instantly answering such contact lets your ex know that he or she can probably get you back whenever they want to. But not answering these texts and completely ignoring your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? This will go a long way toward making them want you back.

An ex who doesn't know where you are or what you're doing will get very curious very quickly. Ignore your ex's text messages and they'll feel the same rejection you're going through right now. They'll start worrying that maybe you've moved on, or perhaps you're getting over the relationship already. By not playing this little text-message volleyball game you're ensuring maximum future interest on the part of your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

If you're asking the question why does my ex still text me, it's probably because you want them back. Maybe you've already taken steps toward reversing your breakup, or trying to get your ex to change their mind. In reality however, the very act of texting you betrays your ex boyfriend's or girlfriend's current interest level. As innocent as such contact might seem (or as innocent as they pretend it is), your ex is keeping this one line of communication open for a specific reason: to monitor your progress without them.

Want your boyfriend or girlfriend back? Don't leave that important goal to chance. Don't play games, or fall into your ex's well-laid friendship trap. Instead, work toward learning what to do, and even more importantly, exactly when you should be taking action.

[Kint]

Since your ex girlfriend still contact you, it shows she isn't over you. Obviously, she still misses you and thinks about the good times she had with you. So, if you still love her, then you have an opportunity to get her back. Otherwise, tell her to stop contacting you and never respond to her messages again.

Half of me says I want her back. But the other half said 'Let's be realistic. She's on the other side of the world and that's impossible to maintain solid relationship." So maybe I'll take your advise on to never respond to her messages again. Thanks a lot man! I appreciate it.

[Kint]

If you were on the receiving end of an unwanted breakup, it's hard to know how to interpret these mixed signals. At this point you're looking for signs that your ex might want you back, but at the same time you're also trying to be realistic. That said, an ex who still texts you after breaking things off is definitely not finished with seeing you yet.

Now this doesn't necessarily mean your ex boyfriend or girlfriend wants to get back together right now. However, the interest they're showing is certainly more than friendly contact. There's no such thing as making innocent small talk - not after dating someone and sharing such an intimate connection. Chances are good your ex still has unresolved feelings and emotions toward you, and he or she doesn't know exactly how to handle them right now.

Think about it this way: if your ex was totally and completely finished with you he or she wouldn't be talking to you at ALL. There wouldn't be calls, emails, or texts from your ex... these types of contact would drop off dramatically the moment your ex made the decision to move forward without you.

So what does your ex want? Why are they hammering out text-messages even after the romance is over?

Simply put, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is still thinking about you. Despite the fact that you're no longer dating, your ex hasn't let go of the idea of having you in their life. They'd like to keep you around, but they can't do it directly. So they do the next best thing: they string you along with random texts and scattered phone calls designed to keep you just within arm's reach.

You see, your ex doesn't want you back. At least not right now, anyway. Instead, your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is trying to keep you hanging on while they try out their new single life. Knowing that you're still on the other end of the phone, even through something as impersonal as text-messaging, allows your ex the confidence and security of knowing they could always go backwards if need be. This enables your ex to move forward, and possibly meet somebody else.

Responding To Texts From Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Answering your ex's text messages at this point is a big mistake. Go back and forth with them right now, and you're doing nothing more than playing the game. Instantly answering such contact lets your ex know that he or she can probably get you back whenever they want to. But not answering these texts and completely ignoring your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? This will go a long way toward making them want you back.

An ex who doesn't know where you are or what you're doing will get very curious very quickly. Ignore your ex's text messages and they'll feel the same rejection you're going through right now. They'll start worrying that maybe you've moved on, or perhaps you're getting over the relationship already. By not playing this little text-message volleyball game you're ensuring maximum future interest on the part of your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

If you're asking the question why does my ex still text me, it's probably because you want them back. Maybe you've already taken steps toward reversing your breakup, or trying to get your ex to change their mind. In reality however, the very act of texting you betrays your ex boyfriend's or girlfriend's current interest level. As innocent as such contact might seem (or as innocent as they pretend it is), your ex is keeping this one line of communication open for a specific reason: to monitor your progress without them.

Want your boyfriend or girlfriend back? Don't leave that important goal to chance. Don't play games, or fall into your ex's well-laid friendship trap. Instead, work toward learning what to do, and even more importantly, exactly when you should be taking action.

Thank you for your advise. You got many points here. I think she's only monitoring my progress without her. For all the girls out there; But what for? Is there something like 'achievement thing' in their mind? if I (assuming) become very successful in life because of our exchanged philosophies and future plans in life while we are still on relationship?

That message-volleyball thing is very really pain in the aaaa, I can't get over with it. :/

[bunnyhabit]

She clearly told you why. Her guy is dominant so doesn't put up with her drama by shutting her off immediately. You listen and respond in a friendly way to her drama queen appetite if you want to turn her do like her current lover and she will back away. typically girls gossip with other girls so she views you a platonic friend and has no romantic interest in you.

[Kint]

She clearly told you why. Her guy is dominant so doesn't put up with her drama by shutting her off immediately. You listen and respond in a friendly way to her drama queen appetite if you want to turn her do like her current lover and she will back away. typically girls gossip with other girls so she views you a platonic friend and has no romantic interest in you.

Thank you Bunnyhabit for that straightforward answer. I really appreciate it.

[bunnyhabit]

you are welcome. i always give my honest opinion based on personal experiences and beliefs.