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Not sure what to think

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  • Not sure what to think

    RomanceDictionary.com
    Alright, just as a bit of context:


    My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. We'd been dating for nearly 2 years but both of us had been having 'doubts' about the relationship and she finally came out and ended it. Despite those doubts, I was still pretty devastated and it still came as a surprise. I think the main issue was that the spark had gone from the relationship, we got stuck in to a routine, spent way too much time together early on etc and got way too comfortable.

    Fast forward 3 months, and we've spoken on a number of occasions, for the first few weeks I was in bits and reached out a couple of times. Not to ask to get back together, but just your standard stuff like 'I still care' etc. We then didn't speak for about 3 weeks, I reached out again and this time she seemed very receptive but was then like 'I know it sound stupid but I do want to be friends' which obviously was a bit of a knife to the heart. We kept talking but I put it on ice again, until she reached out again recently.

    We spoke for a long while, and then she hit me with another bomb, basically telling me she's signed up to tinder but trying to play it off as a joke. I didn't get why she would tell me that but didn't react and played it like it didn't bother me. I then kinda just stopped replying to her messages, but then woke up to her having triple texted me. I ignored it again, and then the next day she's tried to get the conversation started again.

    Anyway, I'm basically looking for some advice on how to proceed .. I still haven't replied because I am very cautious of the fact that she might be wanting something I can't offer. On the other hand, our latest conversations were a little different .. she was reminiscing about our past a bit, and mentioning tinder to me made me think maybe she was trying to make me jealous. I'm not sure whether I should just continue to ignore unless she says something of genuine substance?


  • #2
    If you still want her back, then grab this opportunity and reply to her message to get the conversation going. Otherwise, ignore the message and never talk to her again.

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    • #3
      She might be trying to get you jealous but not interested in getting back together with you. Moreover, she proposed for you both to be friends. So, she probably sees you as a friend now and telling you about her plans like a friend will do.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Julia View Post
        If you still want her back, then grab this opportunity and reply to her message to get the conversation going. Otherwise, ignore the message and never talk to her again.

        I want to get back together, but I don't think replying will help that. She's said she wants to be friends and still hasn't said anything that would point towards actually reconciling.

        We've had loads of conversations since we broke up, none of which have ever led anywhere close to getting back together.
        Last edited by Vehemence; 11-13-2018, 10:14 AM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Ben View Post
          She might be trying to get you jealous but not interested in getting back together with you. Moreover, she proposed for you both to be friends. So, she probably sees you as a friend now and telling you about her plans like a friend will do.

          True, the only thing I find strange is her sending 4-5 texts in a row after being ignored. I don't feel like you would do that if a friend didn't reply. She also proposed being friends a long time ago, and I don't know if her position has changed.

          I'm not sure if she's just lonely at the moment though.
          Last edited by Vehemence; 11-13-2018, 10:14 AM.

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          • #6
            RomanceDictionary.com
            I sent her a message saying 'Sorry I think it'd be best if we don't talk anymore, I don't view you as a friend' and she basically said that's fine and wished me well.

            Glad I went ahead and got the closure.

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