Is there any hope ?

[Clueless29]

Hey,

so i have a sticky situation that i need advice on. Basically i was seeing this girl for few months and everything went great. Things were moving at a good pace, she's very career oriented and we both need a lot of me time, so we saw each other once a week which was perfect. 3 weeks ago we went out with our friends and things went smoothly, i even sang a song to her at this club and she was completely sold, dragging me to her place right after. I feel like we hit a "high point" in the relationship.

The week after i was sick so i had to say no to her when she asked to hook up. We agreed to meet up next wednesday before she'd go on a trip with her friends that weekend.

Come wednesday though, i had to turn her down last minute, i had more work-related stuff to do than i had anticipated and had no choice really. She said that was fine.

Evening after i decided to make it up to her and bought her a gift of things related to travelling. She loved it and asked me to stay for a while. We talked for an hour before i made a move on her sexually (sex in general was great btw and she'd often say so) but after a while i realized she was annoyed by it. I pulled back and asked what's wrong. At this point she made it clear how much the night before upset her, that her time is valuable and i should plan my shit better. And now im apparently just giving her gifts for sex (which wasn't something i had thought about at all). She showed me the door.

At this point it's pretty clear she got the wrong impression of me these last two days. We sent a couple texts to clear the air and she took the trip. She sent me a couple nice texts. Everything seemed like we'll talk things out later and everything will be fine but i was a little worried that we had not seen each other properly for 2 weeks now and there was some negative stuff going on which she might be going over with her friends and create this big negative picture of me.

So after her trip i suggest we meet up. We get into a heated argument over text about the things that had happened and she didn't take my apology well at all accusing me of being an asshole and i got frustrated, basically said some things i shouldn't have said and things ended on a bad note. This is where i should've been more calm and cool but i fucked up.

So few days go by and i ask her if she's still mad. She says i our last convo made it clear we're not made for each other and that she hates having these type of arguments. I said i couldn't agree more about fighting over dumb things but that we should still see in person and have a proper chat like adults because throwing away all the good things we had going on because of one bad week would be very short-sighted. She responded that talking isn't going to fix things (wtf) and that she doesn't want to see me.

At this point i lose it and start bombarding her with texts trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Things escalate and i put it all out there saying stuff like she's acting like a teenager breaking up over text, she's selfish etc. At one point of it it seemed like she was maybe starting to realize this was all stupid, but i couldn't stop in time and ended up making it worse (probably in her mind confirming that im an asshole and that she made the right choice). Things end in a bad way and she ends up blocking me and removing me from her facebook friends.

So week goes by and i write her a letter. I just felt like i had to connect with her one more time and explained why i lost my mind in the end and how i had just started to have strong feelings for her before it all ended in a flash. I didn't expect a response and a week later i haven't heard one.

And here we are.

Basically i feel like this whole thing could've been easily avoided and that the reasons why we broke up were the stupidest reasons i've ever seen. Im 99% sure if i just stopped in time and pulled back she would've come around in time and we'd be able to hit the reset button, but because of my actions she came to the conclusion i was exactly the person that she saw before she decided to break up.

What are your guys opinions? Is there any hope that she'll reach out at some point? Is there something i can do? Thanks for your thoughts.

[Scot]

First you need to accept the breakup. I'll suggest you don't contact her anymore, but give her space and time. You must avoid contacting her for at least 30 days. This will give her time to calm down and eventually miss you. So, when you eventually contact her, she'll be happy to hear from you.

[Kate]

If you think your ex girlfriend still has feeling for you, then there is hope and you can get her back in your arms forever, if you do the right things and take the right action.

1. Do not act like the victim

Regardless of if you screwed up really bad or she just broke it off due to another reason, you cannot act like the victim. This will only hurt your self-esteem and it will not help her want you back. It will only damage the future relationship and other relationships you might have.

2. Understand that what is done is done

You are not going to be able to change the past, but what you can do is you can improve yourself and start changing the future. One of the best things you can do is keep yourself busy with things that will help to improve you. Exercise and activities are great because they will boost your confidence and you will not be sitting at home thinking about the break up and letting all those emotions cloud your mind.

3. What attracted her to you anyway?

You need to think back to the very beginning of the relationship and figure out what qualities she saw in you that attracted her. This will help in the process of how to get back with my girlfriend and this is the first real step in the process. You need to recapture these qualities in yourself and use them to help you get her back into your life.

4. Don't become an open book

The last thing you want to do is make sure she does not think she can just have you at any moment. You want to stay busy and when you talk to her make it casual. Tell her a little about your fun weekend with friends and casually mention that you need to go to the gym in an hour or two. By surrounding yourself with mystery she will become curious and that is a very good thing.

[bunnyhabit]

it's over you both said too much bad slurs to reconnect again. learn how to control your mind in the future