Depressed long distance boyfriend suddenly breaking up

[Sweetsad]

I'm very sorry for the long text and grammatical mistakes!

I met my ex online 9 months ago and we instantly clicked. After 3 months, he came to visit me and everything was perfect! He is a genuinely kind person with a good soul. I fell deeply in love with him. He's my first love. (He's 24 and I'm 21)

Fast forward 5 months and three more visits: I confronted him about a silly thing and we had an argument via text. I reacted very immature and he was triggered by that and told me he's had enough of our arguments. He doesn't want to talk anymore and told me to think properly about my and his reasoning. I asked him for a call the next day where he told me that he currently doesn't feel anything at all. He doesn't trust, see or love me like he used to and it's better if we break up. I was devastated and begged him to give me a second chance, but he was unsure and needs time to think. We had two more calls after that, one where he confessed to me that he's been suffering from depression before (last time was last year around this time as well) and the other call was after his first therapy session. He was the one who reached out to me both times. We messaged shortly the next tree days, but then he ignored me for a week. I messaged him again saying I'm always there and that I understand if he needs space and time, but he again said he can only see me as a friend for now but when his mind is clearer, he might see me as his girlfriend again.

Then we went NC for three weeks. I was so heartbroken and hurt, I cried every single day and he was on my mind 24/7 (first heartbreaks...).
Last Thursday I couldn't wait any longer and asked, if we could talk. We talked for 2 1/2 hours. He's stressed because of studies, work, depression, family drama and also trying to find a new apartment. He currently wants to focus on that and most importantly himself to get better and told me he's been thinking about me a lot these past few days. I tried to stay strong, but I couldn't. I told him I still like him very much and that I would take him back in a heartbeat and I cried so so much. I asked him if he wants me to be a part of his life and he said yes. I asked if he can honestly and truthfully imagine us getting back together again and he said yes, it might happen once he gets better. Also, according to him we can still talk but it won't be like how it used to be. I'm just conflicted since he told me multiple times by now that he wants a break and he has not contacted me once in those three weeks. He did send me a message the day after our last call though, but nothing too big. I'm very sure that I want him and this relationship, but I don't know what to do anymore. Give him more space? Message him occasionally? And yes, I'm young and we have only been together for a short time, but I'm a 100% committed and I want everything about him, be it good or bad.

[Roy]

I'll suggest you give him more space. He wants space, so you need to respect his wish and give him all the space he wants. Failure to give him space will make you lose him for good.

Giving him space will make him miss you and eventually want you back. Also, I'll advice you don't contact him during this time.

[Rachael]

Learning how to get a boyfriend back after he breaks up with you begins with recognizing the power in acceptance. Whenever a man dumps a woman and he knows that she still has very strong feelings for him, he'll be expecting a strong reaction from her. Crying, pleading and begging are what many women resort to after they man they love tells them the relationship is over. Doing any of these things is akin to pushing him away even further. Men don't like it when a woman is too emotional. If you act this way around him, he'll shut you out of his life. That's why it's essential for you to get a hold of what you're feeling and present yourself as someone who is completely in control of her emotions. Not only will this make him feel more comfortable around you, it will show him that you're mature.

The next thing that you should be doing if want him back after he's dumped you, is to reject him too. This may seem useless since he's already made it clear that he's not into you anymore, but it actually does cause a reaction in a man. Rejection is the driving force behind what you're currently feeling. It's what is making you want your man back. It's painful and if you can shift some of that pain onto him, you'll be on your way to getting him back. You may wonder how in the world you can reject someone who has already rejected you, but it's simple. Tell him that you were also considering a break up. That's all you have to say. It will eat at him and bother him since no one likes to be rejected, even if they did it first. If you can accomplish this and then walk away for a few weeks, you'll have created a need in him that can only be satisfied by getting back together with you.