Rant...
Ex-bf insults me by calling me dumb for calling him out. He breaks up with me while I am on vacation, then succumbs me by convincing me to be his sex partner. When I refused, he calls me a conservative prude. It intrigues that when when we first started dating, he compliments how resilient I was and found it attractive.
I ended up seeing him because he asked me to. We had fun, like old times. He told me to hold on to his arm, sat close to me, played with my hair. kiss... All the things you shouldn't do when broken up, but I was so led on to believe. I just wanted to believe so much that he still loves me, that he wants things to change.
Rather than owning up to his flirtatious actions..He blames me for kissing him.. and told me he didn't love me anymore...and I was fed up. He didn't respond to my block texts, and called me selfish for not seeing things from his perspective and what's he's going through. I feel like whenever it's convenient, he simple won't validate what I'm going through...Gives me a hard time, leaves me on edge..
It always intrigues me how different he was when we first started talking. How people change. I don't even know him anymore.
He texted me a few days ago to ask me how were things as if nothing happened. I don't even want to talk to him...disregarded, disrespected..When he feels either of those, he flips his shit, and threatens to dump me. I always constantly feel blamed, and he never takes responsibility for his actions. I am always the one that has to apologize.
On the same time I just want to forget and just make love to him. Remember all the times he was been kind..like when he use to tuck me in his blankets, when he surprised with a plushy on top of my car, the way he was present on my graduation..I remember when he was everything that he isn't now.
I just don't know him anymore and it makes me sad. I know I can't trust him because if he is "really" a friend he claims to be, he wouldn't risk my heart by convincing me to be a sex partner. He would spare me the humiliation of ever allowing me to see him completely walk away, with another girl. Does he ever consider how emotionally damaging that is? He strings me on, then leaves. If he was a friend, he wouldn't want to do anything to hurt his friend...
I really did love him...I miss him a lot.. I just want to text him. But I know he doesn't have my best interest since he doesn't know how to care for me. Just trample my heart over and over with no hesitation. I remember when you use to be kind.
Ex-bf insults me by calling me dumb for calling him out. He breaks up with me while I am on vacation, then succumbs me by convincing me to be his sex partner. When I refused, he calls me a conservative prude. It intrigues that when when we first started dating, he compliments how resilient I was and found it attractive.
I ended up seeing him because he asked me to. We had fun, like old times. He told me to hold on to his arm, sat close to me, played with my hair. kiss... All the things you shouldn't do when broken up, but I was so led on to believe. I just wanted to believe so much that he still loves me, that he wants things to change.
Rather than owning up to his flirtatious actions..He blames me for kissing him.. and told me he didn't love me anymore...and I was fed up. He didn't respond to my block texts, and called me selfish for not seeing things from his perspective and what's he's going through. I feel like whenever it's convenient, he simple won't validate what I'm going through...Gives me a hard time, leaves me on edge..
It always intrigues me how different he was when we first started talking. How people change. I don't even know him anymore.
He texted me a few days ago to ask me how were things as if nothing happened. I don't even want to talk to him...disregarded, disrespected..When he feels either of those, he flips his shit, and threatens to dump me. I always constantly feel blamed, and he never takes responsibility for his actions. I am always the one that has to apologize.
On the same time I just want to forget and just make love to him. Remember all the times he was been kind..like when he use to tuck me in his blankets, when he surprised with a plushy on top of my car, the way he was present on my graduation..I remember when he was everything that he isn't now.
I just don't know him anymore and it makes me sad. I know I can't trust him because if he is "really" a friend he claims to be, he wouldn't risk my heart by convincing me to be a sex partner. He would spare me the humiliation of ever allowing me to see him completely walk away, with another girl. Does he ever consider how emotionally damaging that is? He strings me on, then leaves. If he was a friend, he wouldn't want to do anything to hurt his friend...
I really did love him...I miss him a lot.. I just want to text him. But I know he doesn't have my best interest since he doesn't know how to care for me. Just trample my heart over and over with no hesitation. I remember when you use to be kind.
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