How to end things maturely once and for all?

[Butterfliesawake20]

I really promised myself I would never use a relationship advice forum but I’m so sad and confused.
My ex and I dated for about 10 months on and off, we had a lot of arguments because of me
finally he distanced himself from me little by little and up ‘till recently he said he didn’t love me same way as the beginning so I kept my distance and called it off
However he keeps texting me like if we were friends, today I had to move and he helped me because I asked him, and I wanted to see him... I didn’t see him for two weeks prior to this and I have done a lot of self reflection, I’m sad and want to keep him close but after today, he was so cold, friendly but I could really feel the distance in between us, it felt as if nothing ever happened in between the two.
I tried to bring up some happy memories casually but he still acted cold and just emotionally unavailable.
He rushed to go back home and overall, it just felt weird.
After he left, I bawled my eyes out.. because I still love him but knowing he will no longer feel the same no matter what I do really tears me apart... and seeing him only makes it more difficult, he however still texts me, I feel confused and hurt.
I feel that if I say “I think we shouldn’t talk anymore” comes off Too strongly
I really don’t know how to healthily move away from him.. What should I do? ?
I was thinking about writing a letter but I’m not sure anymore..
Is telling him face to face calmly that I need space to heal better?

Would also like to add.
I stayed distant for 2 weeks, he kept texting me in a friendly way to which I reciprocated.
He’s a kind, friendly guy that doesn’t tend to hold grudges but he’s the type that is NOT willing to speak up his feelings or any topics he knows are sensitive.

[Paul]

First, you want to ask each other is the problem really worth arguing about or for that matter breaking- up over. Once you have this questions answered, we can move forward. We are really hoping for a no, but I have answers to both. If the answer is no, then you have the green light to work together. Don't push to talk about it right away. Give each other some time to reflect on the problem and agree on a time you can both get together to discuss your differences.

In case, the problem is worth breaking up over, then yes do give each other space. Don't jump the wagon and start to push your ex boyfriend to work things out with you right away. You could be the cause of the problem, so you want to give it some time for both of you to think about things. If in this case, you're the problem in the relationship, then we have some work to do.

Don't call him right away or show you're desperate to get back with him. Focus on yourself, as hard as this may seem right now. Go out and get some fresh air. Join the gym if you have to, start looking better. Shopping for some new clothes always helps boost your self-esteem as well. Go pamper and beautify yourself. Let him see you at your best, this will definitely have him wondering about you. Remember he's expecting you to be at his feet, begging him back, so you don't want to start this way.

Once you've focused on yourself for a week, this should be sufficient time to see results on his end. By now he's probably text or called you. Do respond to him. Don't ignore his calls, but do stay strong and don't let him notice that you want him back right away. Once he expresses that he misses you and wants to talk things out and you agree start to make him feel you're still interested to work things out as well.

Don't be defensive when your ex boyfriend expresses things about you, that you may need to change. Take his criticism as a positive one. We all make mistakes, you're still in time to change it around and work at making your weaknesses your strengths. I believe in you. Now it's a matter of how much do you believe in yourself? These steps could also turn things around for you and not push your ex boyfriend away. It worked for me why not for you?

[Gloria]

Codependency is a psychological term that describes people who stay in a relationship - no matter how unhealthy - because one partner fulfills the other's needs.

This is also known as a rescue complex, or a need to "fix" a damaged person. If you give in to your partner's pleas not to break off the relationship, there's the possibility that some aspect of their personality gives you fulfillment. That could be why you're having trouble letting go.

If you are in fact in a codependent relationship, you need to understand that you are just as guilty as your partner for keeping it unhealthy. If your partner wants to control the relationship, you need to take some steps to regain control of your life.

The first thing you can do is make a list of all the reasons why the relationship isn't working, and then share the list with your partner. Be compassionate but firm. If you present your feelings logically and reasonably, most people will accept a break-up without drama. If your partner is still in love with you, this method of breaking up will hurt them much less because they will be sure of the reasons you are leaving and will give them some closure.

Remember that you are the only one in control of your life. You have a choice to bring people into your life, and you have a choice to remove people from your life. So take back your control and end a relationship that isn't making you happy. Be firm, be assertive, but always be compassionate.