I threw away all of my ex gf's photo albums out of rage

[ksungjune]

I had an ex gf who has a 15 years old daugher with ex husband living nearby us.
2 months ago, she lied to me she's gonna hang out with her friend and went to watch worldcup with her ex, daughter, and a few of their friends.
Of course she lied to me because she knew I wouldn't like it at all.
And I found it out and got extremely upset.
I told her it is better to break up than being lied like this. And she promised to me she won't lie to me again and she won't meet her ex without my permission.

One week ago, she said she wants to sleep over at her friend's house. It was a lie again.
She went to travel with her ex and her daughter on weekend, and I was at home waiting for her, cleaning home, doing laundry of her socks while I was doing mine.
And again I found out that she lied to me again and did this to me.
I was furious.

Next day I threw away all of her photo album ( wedding, daughter's photo, her student time, etc) ( I know she value her albums very much, and that's why I did it.)
I also threw away her jewel box and her religious goods.
She went almost crazy and we had terrible fight, and broke up. She left our place and moving around her friend's place now.


I want to hear from everyone who's willing to give me feedback.
What do you think?
Do you think I did react too much?
Now I almost cooled down, and I think I didn't do enough.

[ksungjune]

I am not trying to justify myself or use your opinion to blame my ex.
I just want to have 'public' opinion to understand more of things.
If you think I am to blame, please do so.
Same for my ex.
Your opinion is greatly appreciated.
Close friends and families tend to defend me. I want 3rd party opinion.

[bunnyhabit]

you are lucky she didn't sue you for theft and destruction of private property. childish tantrums are never a positive solution. I would have suggested a no contact time out between you and her to calm and see how separation felt. This would have been followed by meditation to be honest with each other. she has a perfect right to be with her child and father of her daughter in a honest relationship. I would have suggested you be present at some of theses events so that she could share her love for you with her daughter and ex husband.

unfortunately you are beyond the point of reconciliation with this girl now. the fact she is with girlfriends not her ex shows your jealousy was misguided.

your personality does not lend itself well to a mature relationship and should be addressed before you enter into a relationship with someone new.

[ksungjune]

you are lucky she didn't sue you for theft and destruction of private property. childish tantrums are never a positive solution. I would have suggested a no contact time out between you and her to calm and see how separation felt. This would have been followed by meditation to be honest with each other. she has a perfect right to be with her child and father of her daughter in a honest relationship. I would have suggested you be present at some of theses events so that she could share her love for you with her daughter and ex husband.

unfortunately you are beyond the point of reconciliation with this girl now. the fact she is with girlfriends not her ex shows your jealousy was misguided.

your personality does not lend itself well to a mature relationship and should be addressed before you enter into a relationship with someone new.

Ok, one question to you though.
You said "she has a perfect right to be with her child and father of her daughter in a honest relationship."
But I said "I told her it is better to break up than being lied. And she promised to me she won't lie to me again."
And she lied and she spent weekend with her ex.
Is it really something I should be ok with?
How would you feel if it happened to you?
I want to know what a person in mature relationship should act in such situation.

[bunnyhabit]

I already addressed all these questions in my previous response.

[Scot]

I know how angry you were at the moment, however, you over-reacted. You shouldn't have thrown away her valuable belongings but would have just broken up with her. The fact is that, she doesn't deserve you, so breaking up with her was a good decision.

[Anthonia]

Obviously, your ex girlfriend is still not over her ex husband. So, breaking up with her was the right move. I know you were deeply hurt hence you threw away her photo album to hurt her as well, but you went to the extreme because that's something she can't get back in a lifetime.

[ksungjune]

Thanks for feedback guys.

[bunnyhabit]

Ok, one question to you though.
You said "she has a perfect right to be with her child and father of her daughter in a honest relationship."
But I said "I told her it is better to break up than being lied. And she promised to me she won't lie to me again."
And she lied and she spent weekend with her ex.
Is it really something I should be ok with?
How would you feel if it happened to you?
I want to know what a person in mature relationship should act in such situation.

Is it really something I should be ok with? No but you should have responded as an adult How would you feel if it happened to you? upset
want to know what a person in mature relationship should act in such situation.no contact time out between you and her to calm and see how separation felt