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Hi, I'm sorry this is long, I need to get it out. Thanks in advance.
After another relationship failed because the guy was still grieving his deceased wife I decided to simply focus on my work and friendships.
After 37 years I connected with an old work colleague, let's say Greg, and somehow ended up in a relationship with him.
He had all but gone bankrupt 10 years ago, having lived a very lavish lifestyle prior. He was egotistical when I worked with him but had a certain charisma about him. I was married back then. So that charisma drew me in as a divorced woman.
Divorced 15 years he has two children in their late twenties. Neither have worked for over 3 years despite being well educated. The eldest an alcoholic with anxiety and anger issues who breaks the law also. The younger has had some failed relationships so it's for some reason made him feel unable to work. Greg supports them both and from what I saw they socialise, date and just lol around. The daughter lives with him, the son he pays for an inner city apartment plus all their other expenses and entertainment, including holidays. Greg works from home securing finance deals on a part time basis. He rents a furnished place and appears to have limited possessions so I have assumed he hasn't rebuilt his financial security yet. He's 64.
Gregs last relationship failed one year ago, it rocked his world and he's been on antidepressants to cope with that and all the other issues within his family. Funnily though he says he's had many, many relationships and doesn't think he's ever been in love.
I have a successful business. One of my sons is an alcoholic but it doesn't impact my life. My mother is aging and looses the plot, a bit of dementia I suspect.
This is where it starts.
First date we spoke about cosmetic work. I said I was going to have some botox. He was a bit intoxicated and said that I was the oldest woman he'd ever taken out (I'm 57,he is 64)and that my face had a dreadful amount of lines. He then said that I dressed too old and I should wear more sexy, revealing clothes.
When away one weekend he asked about my former husband. I said that he was a hard worker despite how he was raised and that he had vowed and declared to work long hours in order to provide for his kids and give them the chance he never had. I admired that in my exhusband. I got told that working hard and extra hours was not a choice people make that they just "do it". He nastily said, "just do it, no choice" My opinion is that my ex didn't just work 13 days a fortnight, 10 hours a day because you just do it, he made the choice.
Greg went on to state that he was the cleverest student in the country when at high school, that he ran the private school. He stated that although he'd won a scholarship to the exclusive boys school that every person could afford to send their kids there if they really wanted to. He then bagged the schools my brother and I attended. He said he'd invented the aged care industry, which was running before he was even born in this country. Lol
That night a restaurant wouldn't serve him as they were closing so he stood outside shouting that he wanting to smash someones head in. The next restaurant he refused to leave by closing time, slowed down eating so the poor manager was the only worker left in semi darkness. When I asked the manager for a doggy bag for what I couldn't eat I was nastily told by Greg to never do that again to him.
Christmas day he daughter stole alcohol from the resort we were at. Greg was under way to being intoxicated when we went to have dinner with his son. His son was trying to help. Told his father that she needed help. That maybe Greg should withdraw finances until she went into rehab or something. A few things were raised, unbeknown to me which obviously Greg felt ashamed about. Next thing Greg says to his son that my family is far more dysfunctional than his. I jumped and said it was inappropriate to benchmark family dysfunctionality. Greg said I knew nothing about alcoholism and that my son isn't one because he functions. My x husband, again, Greg ran him down about working.
I got up to leave, collected my things and drove middle of the night two hours back home. In order to get access to his room he made me stand in the foyer within earshot of other guests and twice repeat the words, "Please Greg, may I please have access to your room to get my things" As I was leaving Greg said I had zero intelligence, that he was himself a member of some high intelligence society. I've since been told that I'm delusional, full of self belief, act superior and that my words are not the truth about things he's said and done. 2+2=5 in my world is what he said.
Some insight please. None of this makes sense. For some reason I feel like I've been gutted, I feel hollow and unimportant, like I'm ugly, stupid and should dig myself a grave. I will never go back to him, I'm gone for good but I guess I don't undetstand what's wrong with him. Any thoughts please?
After another relationship failed because the guy was still grieving his deceased wife I decided to simply focus on my work and friendships.
After 37 years I connected with an old work colleague, let's say Greg, and somehow ended up in a relationship with him.
He had all but gone bankrupt 10 years ago, having lived a very lavish lifestyle prior. He was egotistical when I worked with him but had a certain charisma about him. I was married back then. So that charisma drew me in as a divorced woman.
Divorced 15 years he has two children in their late twenties. Neither have worked for over 3 years despite being well educated. The eldest an alcoholic with anxiety and anger issues who breaks the law also. The younger has had some failed relationships so it's for some reason made him feel unable to work. Greg supports them both and from what I saw they socialise, date and just lol around. The daughter lives with him, the son he pays for an inner city apartment plus all their other expenses and entertainment, including holidays. Greg works from home securing finance deals on a part time basis. He rents a furnished place and appears to have limited possessions so I have assumed he hasn't rebuilt his financial security yet. He's 64.
Gregs last relationship failed one year ago, it rocked his world and he's been on antidepressants to cope with that and all the other issues within his family. Funnily though he says he's had many, many relationships and doesn't think he's ever been in love.
I have a successful business. One of my sons is an alcoholic but it doesn't impact my life. My mother is aging and looses the plot, a bit of dementia I suspect.
This is where it starts.
First date we spoke about cosmetic work. I said I was going to have some botox. He was a bit intoxicated and said that I was the oldest woman he'd ever taken out (I'm 57,he is 64)and that my face had a dreadful amount of lines. He then said that I dressed too old and I should wear more sexy, revealing clothes.
When away one weekend he asked about my former husband. I said that he was a hard worker despite how he was raised and that he had vowed and declared to work long hours in order to provide for his kids and give them the chance he never had. I admired that in my exhusband. I got told that working hard and extra hours was not a choice people make that they just "do it". He nastily said, "just do it, no choice" My opinion is that my ex didn't just work 13 days a fortnight, 10 hours a day because you just do it, he made the choice.
Greg went on to state that he was the cleverest student in the country when at high school, that he ran the private school. He stated that although he'd won a scholarship to the exclusive boys school that every person could afford to send their kids there if they really wanted to. He then bagged the schools my brother and I attended. He said he'd invented the aged care industry, which was running before he was even born in this country. Lol
That night a restaurant wouldn't serve him as they were closing so he stood outside shouting that he wanting to smash someones head in. The next restaurant he refused to leave by closing time, slowed down eating so the poor manager was the only worker left in semi darkness. When I asked the manager for a doggy bag for what I couldn't eat I was nastily told by Greg to never do that again to him.
Christmas day he daughter stole alcohol from the resort we were at. Greg was under way to being intoxicated when we went to have dinner with his son. His son was trying to help. Told his father that she needed help. That maybe Greg should withdraw finances until she went into rehab or something. A few things were raised, unbeknown to me which obviously Greg felt ashamed about. Next thing Greg says to his son that my family is far more dysfunctional than his. I jumped and said it was inappropriate to benchmark family dysfunctionality. Greg said I knew nothing about alcoholism and that my son isn't one because he functions. My x husband, again, Greg ran him down about working.
I got up to leave, collected my things and drove middle of the night two hours back home. In order to get access to his room he made me stand in the foyer within earshot of other guests and twice repeat the words, "Please Greg, may I please have access to your room to get my things" As I was leaving Greg said I had zero intelligence, that he was himself a member of some high intelligence society. I've since been told that I'm delusional, full of self belief, act superior and that my words are not the truth about things he's said and done. 2+2=5 in my world is what he said.
Some insight please. None of this makes sense. For some reason I feel like I've been gutted, I feel hollow and unimportant, like I'm ugly, stupid and should dig myself a grave. I will never go back to him, I'm gone for good but I guess I don't undetstand what's wrong with him. Any thoughts please?
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