She wants space & i actually am considering just leaving

[Confused83]

My partner whos 29 has just asked for space. We had an argument and she just told me to leave & said give me space for a few days. We kind of sorted the argument but she still wanted space, the argument wasnt anything major.

this was 2 days ago. Weirdly when i left she text me saying 'just give me till sunday as i just want a few days to myself and we'll go for a nice meal'.

now I'm really confused. She wants space yet has planned for a date night Sunday, so why on earth ask for space like we cant talk in between. I trust her so much but this is testing my trust why she'd request a set number of days apart so i replied 'i dont do breaks with people we're either together or we arent as im not waiting around while other people could potentially be involved' she replied 'i dont want anyone else its not a break just a few days space'. I didnt reply, that was 2 days ago and for the past 2 days ive just felt horrendous. Why would she want space until sunday if it doesnt involve any one else?.

also she has a private folder on facebook where she adds photos of us to save and only her can see it. Today i woke up and she'd added photos and added me to the folder so id see them, isnt that just emotional manipulation and another way of sending me photos to get a rise?. Why on earth is this woman wanting space then doing this? And why need space anyway? What a start to 2019.

Ive been tempted to just end it not because i want to but because i dont want to sit and wait for Sunday then how am i meant to act sunday? Happy when ive been hurting for days? Any advice?

[Richard]

I don't think it involves anyone else, she simply wants space to calm down and I think you should respect her wish. Also, I don't think she's manipulative by adding a photo of you on Facebook for you to see, she simply wants to prove to you that she still loves you and it aren't over yet. You have a good woman, so be patient with her and allow her sort things out.

[Kate]

When she wants space, regardless of how much you don't want to give it to her, you need to. Fighting with someone who has one foot out of the door of the relationship won't help. It will only hurt you both. Bear in mind that you're not going to be able to fix the issues overnight and that sometimes some time is exactly what is needed to mend a broken relationship. Give her the space she needs and be accepting of it. She'll be grateful that you're recognizing her needs and not trying to stop her from doing something she feels is necessary.

Your next move is an important one. You're going to feel inclined to spend a lot of time trying to figure out exactly what went wrong. Generally this involves thinking about every conversation you two have had the past few weeks or replaying her voicemail messages. Doing this stuff will drive you crazy, so you need to avoid it. Instead of allowing yourself to fall into an abyss of painful memories, get out and do things that you like doing. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with friends or even taking a vacation after a break up. You're not going to ruin your chances of getting her back if you're having fun. Doing something for yourself will actually help in that you'll be able to push your negative emotions aside and start living your life again.

One crucial mistake that you absolutely must avoid making when your girlfriend says she needs some distance is to find someone new in an effort to make her jealous. This is a very bad idea for several reasons. Namely she'll probably decide she's done with you for good if she hears you've moved on already. Instead of trying to make her jealous, just let her know that you're around and willing to be her friend. Don't pressure her into talking or seeing you. This will show her that you're taking your time moving forward but that you'll always be there for her. That alone will demonstrate to her what a great boyfriend you were and can be again.

[Confused83]

Thank you for the replies. Im just extremely worried that weve never been a day without contact before and now irs been 2 days. I'm also worried that she wants to meet sunday but how am i meant to act? If i turn up and prerend everythings fine wont i look like a pushover whos allowed this past horrible 5 days to happen without complaining. If we did work it out i obviously dont want this to become a pattern.