Help with my ex

[Texans18]

So this summer, I broke up with boyfriend of 9 months (each others first for a lot). It was because I felt like I had become less and less of a priority. I went back on it a day later (ik im stupid) bc I felt like I was losing an important person. He realized that he didn't treat me the way I deserved and that a relationship wasn't what he needed right now. I was pretty clingy for a few weeks and honestly felt completely crazy. Then I brought myself to remove him from everything and slowly I became kinda ok. Then when I went back to school (I'm in HS), I could tell (well my friends pointed it out first) that he would always stare at me and blatantly do things to make me jealous. I wasn't going to text him until I had heard something (about him being a hoe) and we somehow ended up adding each back on a certain social platform (once again ik this is stupid). I tried being a "friend" (bc that's what he claimed to want) to him but it all felt one-sided so I stopped contacting him at all. During this time, I was so genuinely happy. I was doing everything for me and me only. I could tell my ex was still doing stuff to make me jealous. Which also one of our mutual guy friends during this time said "I think ___ still likes you." Then one day during school, he texts me over the stupidest thing. And this is where everything turns awful. He said he wanted to be friends (bc he misses me and there are certain things he can't talk to other people about) and we would talk about a few times a week (I also think that he thought I was seeing someone). Then we started talking every day (he always brought up memories too) and he flirted and was very "pursuing" of me. Between this time and the time we broke up, I had heard of him hoeing around (and rumors before we dated) and I became very anxious about that. I won't lie, there were a few times my emotions and suspicions got the best of me and I would confront him. But honestly looking back, I had every right to that (to a certain degree I will admit). Whenever I asked him what he wanted, he would always say "I just can't do a relationship right now, but i'm so glad you are back in my life and I miss us talking, hanging out, the good times." Then I noticed one day, he stopped trying to make conversation with me. I was in the process of cutting him off and just ended up asking him why he wants to be friends. This basically ended up with us planning to meet up to do stuff. After we met up, I felt so gross and used. But that didn't stop me from trying to make things work!! I recently cut him off before Christmas break and it was bc I had found out he liked one of my (kinda) friends and she told me about them hanging out and "confessing " to her (she didn't feel the same way). I confronted him about it and he once again said he wanted a friendship with me bc "You never when you need someone." Then he plays the "Talk to me if you ever need to." Which he has said before and it pissed me off. I blocked him from everything after that. Then my friends and I threw a holiday party and my ex tries to come? And ik he doesn't like parties so idek why he tried to (he didn't make it but he would've been thrown out anyways). I was completely fine during the break bc I didn't see him, but now that I am back, I feel like I literally see him everywhere and it is driving me absolutely insane. And another thing is, he lies so much to try and look "cool." And our mutual guy friend was telling me how he is talking to three girls right now and how he's talking to (his family friend) my good friend (which ended up being a lie *shocker*). I talked to one of my good friends who honestly saw his BS in the beginning of it all. I think he just wanted me wrapped around his fingers and to boost his sorry ego. I guess I posted this to get everything off my chest and for some advice on what to do next and what yall think of him. Ig I just want to make him feel stupid for treating me like that. And honestly looking back at it, I almost feel like he was a narcissist (also he's just a weird dude in general).....

[Julia]

Men obviously act like jerks for a variety of reasons. Some men seem to be born this way but if you and your boyfriend were able to build a loving relationship, he probably wasn't always this rude or mean to you. For many men, they take on the persona of a jerk as a defense mechanism. If the break up was especially painful for you both, your man may have built an emotional wall around himself and in an effort to keep you from getting to close to him again, he treats you badly.

This seems like a horrible idea, doesn't it? Treating the person you once loved in such a callous and uncaring way. In your boyfriend's heart and mind he may not even realize that he's doing that. It may be incredibly painful for him each and every time he sees you or talks to you. He may envision the future that will never be and that's so difficult for him that he lashes out at you. Granted it's not fair to you at all when he treats you that way but it's important that you recognize that it may not be completely intentional. His emotions may be so overwhelming that they're manifesting themselves in a very negative way.

It's important that you don't lose yourself in this though. If you're still having lingering feelings for him it's vital that you separate yourself from the rude behavior. Excuse yourself each and every time he starts rambling on about what he doesn't like about you or how much you hurt him. If you allow him to continually treat you this way without taking a stance, he'll grow to disrespect you and then any chance of reconciling will be gone.

Consider the idea of just not talking with him for a time. He may need an opportunity to cool down and come to grips with what he's feeling. If you're not there to be his verbal punching bag, he'll start to realize just how much he does value you as a woman and as a partner. A period of time to allow him the opportunity to quiet down and get control of his feelings would be beneficial for you both.

[Clinton]

The first thing to do is to control your emotions. I know you could be hurting real bad now. He could have cheated on you or treated you badly. You deserve to be angry and bitter but negative emotions won't lead you on the part to getting your boyfriend back.

What you need to do is to forgive him of all wrong doings. Let bygones be bygones. After all you want him back don't you?

Next put a hold on all communication for a couple of weeks. Except if you work or live in the same environment. In that case, let all con tact be platonic. Don't rush into calling him to tell him you still want him. Hold your emotions back and get some control.

A lot of couples get back together after a breakup. Therefore believe that you can get your boyfriend back. Start working the things that you can see clearly were your fault during the relationship. Your boyfriend must have loved you to at the beginning. Work on reinventing yourself to give him back that person he once fell in love with. You can go further and make yourself better for him.

If you have been possessive, make up your mind to give him more freedom. Let him have his personal space. He will love you more for it. If you were quarrelsome, decide to be a more peaceful person. Take time out to think and work on all the things he has been complaining about that you took for granted.

[Lmk75]

I found that men that are reduced to telling lies.. will never tell the truth and finally when the truth be told. It be believed.
vicious cycle. Just say fuck it!