Should I text my ex first?

[Udyr87]

So my question is if I should look for my ex girlfriend, I mean things like wishing her a nice day or just start conversation after she contacted me?
To give you some context let me tell you how happened, she posted a WhatsApp status of her with a bruise in her arm, I worried and asked her if she was ok, she replied saying that she was and she was thankful I asked, after that we just did small talk and good bye this was on a saturday.
Next day Sunday I posted a picture of a dog sleeping and she reply to that wanting to know if It was mine, that day we ended up texting and voice messaging for like 6 hours, topics like movies, tv series, even things we did during the relationship, and things that went wrong. That was on Sunday, today is Wednesday, so far yesterday we talk in the night because I texted first and now we talked about dates that she had or guys that want to take her out, she gives me little hints that suggest me she doesn’t want a relationship, she told me things like, you are a cool guy and will find a nice girl.
We have till this day like 6.5 months since the breakup, and the times I contacted her during that time she didn’t want to talk.

So my question is should I look for her, texting first, wishing her have a nice day, ask her for a meeting, what do you guys think?

[Anthony]

With the arrival of cell phones, texting has become an interesting and important aspect to relationships. Your girlfriend is never out of reach. With texting, you can reach her at home. You can reach her at work. You can reach her when she's in class or at the mall.

But that poses a huge problem when it comes to breakups. Here's why.

One of the most important pieces of the puzzle to getting your ex girlfriend back is to create space after a breakup. However, texting makes this extremely difficult.

For many men, it's simply too tempting not to text an ex. You have your phone on you all the time so the urge to contact your ex becomes increasingly harder to resist. However, it's imperative to create space for a couple of reasons.

First, creating space allows your ex girlfriend to miss you. If she doesn't miss you, then there's no chance she'll want you back.

Second, space allows both you and your girlfriend to have the time you need to sort out your feelings so you know exactly what you want. It prevents you from making any hasty decisions you'll only regret later.

After the breakup, text your ex and tell her you accept the breakup and hope you can still be friends sometime down the road. If you did something wrong, briefly apologize, but don't go into any great detail. Then, break off contact for a couple weeks. This means no more texting (or phone calls, emails, etc.).

If your ex initiates the contact and texts you during this time, then be polite, but don't just rush over to see her. You might text something back like, "It's great to hear from you. I hope you're doing well. Unfortunately, I'm super busy this week, but maybe we can get coffee and talk in a couple weeks when things die down."

By doing this, you've just turned the tables on the entire relationship. You've shown her you're not needy or desperate because you're not constantly texting her and you're not dropping everything just to rush over to see her the minute she contacts you. When she starts feeling like you're not just sitting around waiting for her and she really could lose you forever, that's when she'll start desperately wanting you back.

[Julia]

As in all things there is no universal solution to this problem but there are three sure fire methods that work, the approach you choose will be influenced by your two personalities and how the relationship ended.

The Direct Approach

You will instinctively know if this is the best approach because it depends heavily on her disposition and the terms on which the break up happened. If you parted mutually and your ex girlfriend is fairly easy going she will not object to this strategy and turning up at her place with a box of chocolates will be great for openers.


If this works then you consider yourself a trifle lucky as fortunately the rift was not that great and your first attempt to get a girlfriend back has been a resounding success.

Be careful though because if the break up was messy your ex girlfriend may see this as you being pushy and will retreat further from you.

The Subtle Approach

To get a girlfriend back you will need patience and you should not appear anxious or pushy so take a while to chill out. You may be bursting to contact her but stay in control of your emotions and change your lifestyle. Whatever hobbies or pastime you enjoy follow them with some vigour to take you mind off the situation.

Suitably refreshed send her a simple text along the lines of "Hi, just wondering how you are". She will reply but unless she poses a question that requires an answer wait another few days before sending another simple text along similar lines. Repeat this a few times and she will begin to feel the wait between messages as agonising.

After a while you can up the ante by suggesting a coffee and when she agrees do not make any direct overtures during the meeting just keep things on a friendly level. If this ends on a positive note I believe you have lift off and should soon be back together with your ex girlfriend.

The Psychological Approach

To pull off this approach you really must be in control of your emotions and actions because in your efforts to get a girlfriend back you are attempting to turn the tables and get her wanting you back.

If in the course of your daily life your paths cross just smile, be polite and then quickly move with just a "Goodbye" do not be tempted to make contact.

You might not wish to start dating right now but going out with other women is a great way to get a girlfriend back. This is psychology in play and it is hard for us guys to understand but women, bless them, have a crazy logic. For some reason they are attracted to men who already have partners and this is magnified when they see an ex boyfriend out with another woman.

Do not look for an explanation as the ladies really are from Venus and us lads mere earth creatures but this is one powerful approach.

Suddenly you become more attractive again to your ex girlfriend as she realises she misses you and wants you back.