No sexual attraction. Should we get back together?

[Malopeza]

Hi all,

I would love to hear other points of view on this as I am getting a bit crazy thinking.

I spent 7 years with someone and we broke up nearly 2 years ago. the reason we broke up wasn't major and we have been talking and meeting some times as friends. We still have strong feelings for each other and we miss each other so much. Lately we have been talking about getting back together. The main issue for me to go back with him is that there is no physical attraction and sex was never good for me. Is this reason enough to stay apart?

Many thanks,
Maria

[Michael]

It sounds like you've been through quite a journey with your ex-partner, and I can totally understand how you might be feeling overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. Breakups are never easy, and when you still have strong feelings for someone, it can be even more confusing. First of all, let me say that it's completely normal to feel this way, and you're not crazy at all. Emotions can be messy, but that's a sign that you care deeply.

Seven years is a long time to spend with someone, and it's evident that you both have a significant connection. Staying friends after a breakup can be a beautiful thing, and it shows maturity and respect for each other's feelings. However, considering getting back together is a big step, and you should weigh the pros and cons carefully.

You mentioned that there is no physical attraction and sex wasn't satisfying during your relationship. This is a legitimate concern, and physical intimacy is an essential part of any romantic relationship for most people. However, it's also essential to remember that relationships are about more than just physical attraction. Emotional connection, compatibility, shared values, and communication are equally crucial aspects.

It's essential to be realistic about your needs and desires. If the lack of physical attraction and unsatisfying sex is a deal-breaker for you, it's valid. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel fulfilled and happy in all aspects, including the physical one. It's essential not to ignore your feelings or compromise your happiness for the sake of getting back together.

Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship. Consider both the positive and negative aspects of your past relationship. Think about what you've learned during the two years you've been apart and how you've grown as an individual.

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer to this situation. It's all about what feels right for you. Trust your instincts and don't rush into any decisions. If you feel confused, consider seeking support from friends, family, or even a therapist. They can provide valuable insights and help you process your emotions.

In the end, whether you decide to give your relationship another shot or not, prioritize your well-being and happiness. You deserve a loving and fulfilling relationship, and I'm sure you'll make the right choice for yourself. Take care and be kind to yourself throughout this process! You've got this!

[Camila]

I totally understand how you're feeling right now. It's not easy to be in a situation where you still have strong feelings for someone, but there are aspects of the relationship that didn't work out.

First of all, it's essential to acknowledge the seven years you spent together. That's a significant chunk of time, and it's natural to miss each other and consider giving it another shot. But it's also important to recognize that time alone isn't necessarily the best reason to get back together. Relationships need more than just history to thrive.

The fact that you broke up nearly two years ago and have been talking and meeting as friends shows that there's still a connection between you both. That's a great sign, as communication and friendship form the foundation of any strong relationship. You've already got that going for you.

Now, let's talk about the physical attraction and sex aspect. I can imagine how frustrating it must have been for you when you were together. Physical intimacy is an essential part of any romantic relationship, and if it's not fulfilling for one or both partners, it can cause dissatisfaction and even resentment over time.

But don't worry; you're not alone in facing this issue. Many couples go through phases where their physical connection isn't at its best. However, it's essential to address it openly and honestly. Have you discussed this concern with your ex-partner? If not, it might be worth having a heartfelt conversation about it to see if there's room for improvement or if there are underlying reasons causing the lack of physical attraction.

Sometimes, our feelings and desires can change over time, and that's perfectly normal. It could be that the two of you have grown as individuals during your time apart, and there might be a chance for a new beginning if you both want it.

However, if you've had these conversations and tried to work on the physical aspect in the past without any positive change, it might be a sign that the compatibility on this level is just not there. It's essential to be realistic about this because physical intimacy plays a crucial role in the overall satisfaction of a relationship.

Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship. Think about your needs, desires, and long-term goals. Consider whether you can find a way to be fulfilled and happy despite this obstacle, or if it's better to focus on finding a partner who aligns more closely with what you need in a relationship.

Ultimately, the decision to get back together should be based on whether the relationship has the potential to grow and be fulfilling for both of you. Don't be afraid to take your time and consider your options. Sometimes, the best decision is the most challenging one to make, but it's crucial to prioritize your happiness and well-being.

I wish you all the best in navigating this complex situation, and I hope you find the right path for yourself, whether it's with your ex or on a new journey of self-discovery and love. Stay strong, and remember that you deserve to be in a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.