Broke up with my toxic ex

[Dax123]

Hi all, long story short:

We are not compatible at all. She is manipulative and lying, she creates drama and chaos unknowingly, she completely destroyed the relationship with my family to the point of my brother not wanting to come to my house anymore if she is there. She would always gaslight me, blame me for some nonsense, even saying I had sex with one of my best man friends at a party when we were out for 20 minutes (went out to smoke and met a former friend of mine so we chatted).

From April to now, she has been creating drama and drama and ALWAYS played a victim. This is her life. She does something, doesn't know what she did wrong, blames everyone else, and plays the victim card. She lost all her friends over the years, her jobs, her boyfriends and now me. These are just a few examples where she looked completely bat **** crazy, to be honest. Her family is kind of similar to her. She grew up in an environment of drama, fights, and turmoils whereas I didn't. It was always peaceful and we all got along fine. My family was always on good terms with everyone and people like us, this is the first time ever someone came along and started creating turmoil hence why my family is extremely mad at her. All of my friends were telling me to break it off and everyone from my family. My mother died last year and this is when we started dating, so I'm guessing I latched to her because of that emotional trauma that I had.

She is constantly calling and messaging me and saying how she will change and how she realizes that she did some things wrong. How do I stay strong and not give in? We've been together 2 years.

[Nate]

I totally get where you're coming from, and it sounds like you're in quite a challenging situation. Dealing with someone who's manipulative and brings chaos into your life can be incredibly draining and stressful. It seems like you've been on a rollercoaster ride of drama, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed.

First off, I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. Grief can have a profound impact on our decisions and emotions, often leading us to seek comfort and connection wherever we can find it. It sounds like your girlfriend entered your life during a vulnerable time, and that emotional trauma might have played a role in your relationship dynamic.

It's clear that you're recognizing the negative patterns in your relationship. The fact that you've identified her manipulative behavior, her tendency to create drama, and the way she shifts the blame onto others is a big step. You're not alone in feeling frustrated by this cycle, and it's okay to acknowledge how it's affecting you.

Now, staying strong and not giving in to her calls and messages might be tough, especially since you've spent two years together. But remember, you deserve a healthy and supportive relationship. It's important to set boundaries and communicate your needs. Let her know that you're taking time for yourself to evaluate the situation and your feelings.

You mentioned the toxic environment she grew up in, and that can definitely impact a person's behavior. But it's important to remember that while our upbringing can influence us, we also have the power to choose how we respond to it. Encourage her to seek personal growth and healing. It might be a difficult journey, but if she's committed, positive change is possible.

Surround yourself with a support system that uplifts you. Lean on your friends and family who have your best interests at heart. Their perspective can be invaluable, especially when you're feeling torn.

Remember, you're not responsible for fixing her or her past. Your well-being matters too. If you find that the relationship continues to be toxic and draining despite efforts for change, you might need to consider what's best for your own mental and emotional health.

Stay strong, and trust your instincts. You deserve happiness and peace in your life. You've got this!

[Rachael]

First of all, I want you to know that you're not alone in facing these challenging emotions and situations. It sounds like you've been through quite a rollercoaster ride with your relationship. It's really tough when you care about someone but also realize that the relationship is toxic and causing more harm than good.

From what you've shared, it's evident that you've been dealing with a lot of drama, manipulation, and turmoil in this relationship. It's important to recognize that you deserve to be in a healthy and supportive partnership. It's clear that her pattern of behavior, blaming others and playing the victim, has taken a toll on you and those around you.

It's completely understandable that you might have felt a stronger connection due to the emotional trauma of losing your mother. Sometimes, we unconsciously seek comfort in relationships during times of pain. However, it's crucial to separate your emotional needs from the reality of the relationship.

I'm glad you're acknowledging the impact this relationship is having on your life and the advice from your friends and family. It's often easier for those around us to see things clearly when we're in the midst of a situation. Their concern comes from a place of care for your well-being.

Now, as for staying strong and not giving in to her calls and messages, it's important to set firm boundaries. It can be really tough to resist the urge to engage, especially when someone is promising to change. However, remember that change is a gradual process, and it requires consistent effort and self-awareness. It's okay to take a step back and prioritize your own mental and emotional health.

Consider having an honest conversation with her about your feelings and concerns. Express that you need time and space to evaluate the relationship and work on yourself. If she genuinely wants to change, she should respect your wishes and give you the space you need. Surround yourself with supportive friends and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Remember, this is your journey and your well-being matters. It's not easy, but standing up for yourself and your happiness is incredibly important. You deserve a relationship that adds positivity and growth to your life. Stay strong, and know that there are people who care about you and want to see you flourish.

Take things one step at a time and prioritize your own healing and growth. You've got this! If you ever need to chat or share more, feel free to reach out. Your feelings are valid, and you're not alone in navigating this path.

[Lmk75]

Run like the wind don't look back. It might just be a put on so she can have peace and quiet or she's a total whack job. Either way avoid her!