Tweet
*** DISCLAIMER*** This scenario was written by an unknown author and may be fictitious. The story is written from the perspective of the character Billy. Billy is completely lost and needs advice
When answering the question as to why someone could possibly think that a person, their spouse, could be capable of something which is outside the boundaries of their normal actions and behaviors, various scenarios could be considered. The desperation that sets in after a partner realizes they are losing their friend, soul mate, and lover can create a multitude of scenarios, some which are almost unbelievable, in a dire effort to understand what had gone wrong.
In the case of a spouse who has a fear that their partner may have strayed from their typical norms and values which are aligned with the commonly known “sanctity” of marriage, a scenario such as the following could be considered:
Meet Becky, a beautiful, strong, talented, smart, caring, giving woman whom, despite of the challenges she has faced since her childhood, has risen above every difficulty and grew into the incredible person she is today. Becky spends much of her time with her partner, family, and friends. However, she prefers to spend most of her spare time with her partner as time allows.
Becky was abused as a child and was thrown into the adult world at a young age. She has learned to first protect herself, no matter what, including her children and cherished friends and family members. Along the way, Becky ended up in a long-term relationship and marriage which had also been abusive. She had also been exposed to abusive behavior in her workplace for many years. Becky tends to put all others in front of herself, and when feels pressured she buries herself in work and other activities to keep herself occupied and protected. This also creates an outer shell which is difficult to break. Becky experienced a lifetime of people either taking advantage of her, or breaking her trust by infidelity, or other unfortunate dynamics which affected her belief that people can be true to her, and not break her trust by infidelity or other questionable behaviors. Becky had always maintained her devotion to her partner, despite her partners not offering the same respect to her. Becky, due to her experiences, has a tendency to create a shell when difficulty arises in her relationships likely due to her need to protect herself over the years, since childhood.
Meet Billy, an attractive, healthy, smart, capable man with a past like many others. Billy is a relatively kind man overall, very cerebral, liked by others in social situations, but prefers silence and solidity. Billy typically likes to spend most of his time with his partner and little else aside from a friend family member or gathering, as time allows.
Billy had a solid family background, went into the military at a young age, and experienced a multitude of relationship woes, deception, and infidelity, either first-hand or by seeing it happen to other people. Billy’s view of relationships, though built on a foundation of mistrust, is overall objective, and due primarily to his internal passion and desire to connect at intimate levels, he finds great enjoyment in the connection with a woman and views his partner as the object of his desire. Billy is as imperfect as any other human and has had his time engaged in infidelity as a young man, believing it is what he needed to do after he had been repeatedly cheated on by his partners. After behaving like this for a couple years in his early 20’s, Billy learned that this is not a way to treat your partner and he should always try to take the high road, at which point he vowed to always be true to his partner. Due to these experiences, however, Billy has developed a tendency to run away if he detects something is not right in his current situation.
Becky and Billy, at some point along the way, cross paths. The first day they met, they went on a wonderful motorcycle ride. They continued to share this love of motorcycle riding, along with many other various activities, which had allowed them to form a deep connection in a short period of time. Before you know it, the couple is deeply in love and quickly get married.
While making plans for the wedding, Billy discovers Becky had not been forthcoming with the fact that her friend, whom she was still engaged with at some level, had been her partner before him. Due to his past experiences in relationships, this makes Billy uncomfortable and Billy almost ends the engagement before the wedding.
Shortly after getting married, Billy realizes the extent of the financial damage Becky had experienced in her past marriage. Hoping to begin the relationship on an even keel, He offers an annulment in order to allow her the freedom to repair her financial situation in an efficient manner, With an offer for re-marriage sometime in the near future. Billy may have had good intent on the surface, but Becky could easily misinterpret this as an easy way to exit a regretful Situation for Billy. One could analyze this and believe that Billy may have offered this due to his insecure feelings of the early development of the marriage. Or maybe it was simply an offer to resolve things in an effective manner. In theory, If the couple truly loves each other, a piece of paper is just a piece of paper, and love, connection, and devotion would simply shine through in time. Theory is not always played out perfectly in practice, and the reasoning behind this offer could easily have remained unclear.
The couple formed a beautiful bond over time, and experience ups and downs like any other marriage. Some time passes, and Billy loses his job. Becky quickly steps in to help her husband and supports him in all aspects. Physically, emotionally, financially, and all others. Billy performs well along his journey and re-engages in the workforce. While Billy is in college, he took his motorcycle to school frequently, and was exposed to young college girls on a regular basis. Becky seemed to respond to this in an objective and adult manner. However, could there have been some question in the back of her mind due to her knowledge of Billy’s imperfect past coupled with the uncertainty he had injected in the relationship early on in the marriage when offering the annulment alternative? This is another scenario which can easily leave questions unanswered for both parties.
After re-engaging in the workforce, Billy and Becky had various ups and downs but mostly positive and enjoyable experiences. Things were getting stressful as Becky was feeling some of the frustrations she was having when Billy was out of work. She felt she was carrying the load of the family with no support from her husband. Billy understood her frustration but did not seem to show enough concern for what he had not done for her and their marriage, and they had some arguments. One day, when working together on a project, Becky’s pent up frustration exploded and an argument ensued. Billy decided to take the easy way out, as he had done in past relationships, and walked away from his marriage, and he decided to live apart for a couple months. The impact on Becky after she had done so much for him was enormous. She did not understand how he could do this to her after all she had done for him. Many nights she cried wondering what she had done. She wondered if there was someone else in Billy’s life. Though Billy was simply questioning his decision to be married, and no infidelity took place, there would be no way for Becky to know this, and this question festered in her mind ever since. It didn’t matter what Billy said to try and reassure her that there was truly nothing going on, the damage had been done.
The years went on and the couple experienced ups and downs. However, this time his and her careers began to impact their quality time together. They worked a ridiculous amount of hours, and the only time they spent together was doing the simple things such as grabbing food, having a drink or two, and socializing very occasionally. When people are tired and overwhelmed things such as intimate relations tend to suffer. The sex became more and more mechanical, and that wonderful feeling of intimacy slowly dwindled. There were attempts to bring some stimulation to the bedroom in forms of toys, but this is no replacement for that connection. This can also sometimes lead to fantastical mental expectations as the couple try to connect in some way. Sometimes the toys helped and sometimes it made the connection worse as the cerebral activity turned from deep connection to the need of physical satisfaction which overwhelmed the feelings of deep connection. So, in this process, sex turned from a beautiful intimate connection to more of a mechanical process, with only occasional deep connections. It is a debate of the ages as whether integrating toys into a relationship is helpful or hurtful over time. Could some seeds have been planted for either party to continue seeking stimulation at greater levels? Questions like this are sometimes never answered.
As time went on, the slight disconnect slowly grew larger and the gap widened. Sometimes this slow development is easy to ignore, or not see, and can grow worse over time. In the meantime ,there were ups and downs, good times had , bad times were dealt with and endured. Overall, the marriage was succeeding, however, those stains from previous experiences during their marriage remained. This phase of the relationship was somewhat stable, with frustrations from Becky’s experiences with Billy and his handling of various challenges mentioned before remained, and slowly began to grow into resentment.
At some point along the way, Billy was in a situation at work where a colleague needed a ride to work. Though Billy felt obligated, it would have been reasonable enough for him to not involve himself, he decided to bring this person to work. Unfortunately, due to the growing disconnect in the relationship coupled with the resentment he detected from Becky, he decided not to inform her of these rides to work as he felt she may think he was up to something as he had planted a seed of doubt in her when he left her for a couple months some years before. Albeit the rides in quantity were low, his decision not to tell Becky was uncalled for. Furthermore, Billy decided to take this girl on his motorcycle as he was trying to take advantage of the beautiful weather in the summer, though there was no excuse for his behavior. Becky speculated Billy must have been seeking something he felt he was missing at home, though he had assured her the rides were professional based. Becky would not accept this, understandably so, as Billy violated the sanctity, and foundation, of their relationship by bringing this girl to work on the very same motorcycle which was one of the catalysts for the beginning of the couple’s beautiful marriage. Becky wondered how he could have done this, Billy played it off as no big deal, while knowing he should have told his wife about the rides. And he knew deep down she would not approve of this girl riding on the back of his bike. On the surface, Billy though it to be no big deal, but that is a problem in itself. How could he think so little of the connection he had made with his wife on this motorcycle? Becky viewed this as a shallow response, and resentment grew of him for his unthoughtful decisions. Furthermore, how would Becky know that Billy wasn’t up to something else? There would be no way for her to know, this caused a huge gap of trust between the two. A gap which would be nearly impossible to fill over time. It would likely remain a large stain in their relationship for years to come, if not to each other’s graves.
During this time period, Billy decided to help his community as a volunteer. Though Becky’s and Billy’s lives were complicated enough as it was, Billy’s desire to give back to the community took precedence over effective time management. Becky supported his decision, although in the back of her mind she likely did not understand why Billy would add more to his plate with an already busy career and family life. Billy to this day is not sure why he was compelled to help his community with an already busy schedule and did not predict the effect this could have over time. In the back of Becky’s mind, she wondered if Billy was not feeling fulfilled in his home life, and wondered if she was not enough for him.
Somewhere along the way it was Becky this time who was not employed. In this case, she had experienced various traumas from her prior employer along with her experiences of abuse much of her lifetime. Becky decided it would be best to seek help and began her journey of therapy, healing, and regrowth. Becky was encouraged to bring all of the various struggles and abuses in her life to the surface and face them head on. This was a difficult but rewarding development for her personally, and she arose being an even stronger and empowered person.
During this journey, Becky had been struggling to maintain the household finances, Billy did not fully understand how much the household was struggling as he handed most of the financial reigns for the household to Becky. Unfortunately, Becky internalized much of this and even if she had made various comments about the struggles, Billy simply offered to provide more money if needed but felt his offer was not accepted in one way or another. The conversations regarding finances seemed to be sporadic and Billy felt like he left the responsibility with his wife’s capable hands. What Billy did not realize that Becky interpreted this as just one more thing that Billy does not care about within the relationship.
As Becky was going through her personal healing process, she decided to embark on a journey of physical transformation by means of body art. Anyone that is familiar with body art knows that one must be comfortable with providing access of intimate parts of their body to a body art professional. On the surface, this seems reasonable enough, how else would the body art be made, and the artist is a professional after all. If one digs a little deeper, they could wonder if this close connection with the artist, 100 percent professional as it was the entire time, helped satisfy a physical connection which was missing at home. Becky continues with this body art journey today, and it appears to remain as innocent as it was from the beginning. One could wonder, did this innocent physical contact plant a seed for the desire to be fulfilled at a deeper level?
Around the same time, Billy, after spending his entire life looking for the ideal business opportunity, has an epiphany, and for the first time in his life knows exactly what he wants to do for generating income for he and his wife for the rest of their lives. Billy knows when he decides to focus on something, he will obsess over it until he reaches what he deems to be a comfortable place in how to manage his new endeavor. Billy warns Becky that he will be uber focused and it will likely impact their relationship in the short term. Though not fair to Becky, he asks her to endure this lengthy time of focus. He had also warned her that he will get testy and short fused in general as he is trying to maintain his focus on one thing. One can easily see the flaws in this plan. What about his beautiful wife, his friend, his partner, his one and only. Why would he leave her in one of her greatest times of need. Why did his overwhelming fear of the future of this country and the entire world around us exceed the needs of the person most close to him. Though he had good intensions. And in 2021 timeframe the world did indeed appear to be falling apart, so were relationships, divorces were on the rise, suicides, and more. Why did he not decide instead to focus on helping his one true love. We may never know.
…
So, Becky decides she should wave a flag in front of Billy to try and make it obvious that she is here, right in front of him, has been feeling neglected, and would like to reconnect. She puts on a sexy outfit, one made for the bedroom only. Though Billy truly enjoyed this encounter with his wife, he suddenly realizes he is having trouble performing at the level he is used to. He needs to disconnect himself from Becky in his mind in order to ensure he can perform physically. Becky detects this and wonders what she had done wrong and if her husband thinks she is sexy.
Somewhere in this timeframe, Billy suddenly decides he is going to sell the motorcycle. Yes, I know, the motorcycle which he had created the beautiful connection with on the very first day they had met. Becky has always expressed her displeasure in Billy’s decision-making process. He often does not include her in his thinking process and simply makes quick decisions without regard of consulting with his wife. So, in this case, his overwhelming tendency to make decisions without including his wife was so strong he did not recognize the impact this action had on his wife. Becky was flabbergasted, she didn’t know what to do or say. She tried express her displeasure on the day of the final sale and her plea for his attention failed, she drove away in anger. Was this the straw that broke the camel’s back? Many would be inclined to say yes, likely so.
Over the course of the following two years, Becky makes it crystal clear to Billy and their friends and family that Billy sold the bike on her and expressed her extreme frustration and disappointment.
As Becky and Billy go through this phase in their marriage, some other family obligations arise which requires Billy’s attention. Becky kindly offers to help as well. Unfortunately, the tension between Billy and his family member effected the dynamic between himself, his mother, and his wife. Suddenly, Becky felt like an outsider in this endeavor and felt her help was being taken for granted and not fully appreciated. Despite all of this, Becky decided to put aside her feelings, and made the decision to help her family. Even after she had done a beautiful job, she felt like the family did not appreciate her help.
Somewhere in the timeframe of the stresses of dealing with Billy and his mother, Billy was being especially short fused as he had put too much on his plate already, and this was just one more thing to distract him from the person closest to him. His friend, his partner, his wonderful wife.
Billy likes to take an annual vacation away from the family to pursue his hobby. During this trip, Becky attended a holiday gathering of close friends and acquaintances. At this time, most people know Becky had already been expressing her displeasures about her husband selling his motorcycle. A man listening to this conversation, a man who has known Becky for years, keyed in on this conversation. He has always had a crush on her, and even possibly they may have dated in the past. The man is good looking, muscular, fit, and likely has the equipment necessary to get the job done properly. This friend approaches Becky and offers to give her a ride on his bike any time she wants. Becky is so frustrated with her husband not only selling the bike but taking a girl on the back if his bike without telling his wife! Somewhere along the way Becky decides to go on this ride. And lets face it, why should Becky feel obligated to tell her husband. Well, in reality, she shouldn’t feel obligated in any way shape or form. Though interpersonal relationships ideally do not fall into a dynamic of tit-for-tat behavior, it can easily happen just the same.
During the ride, Becky and her friend have nice conversations about everything in life. The conversation was easy, similar to the connection she had made with her husband so many years ago, the connection that Billy had suddenly stripped away from her without showing concern for her feelings.
As the ride progresses and she gets more comfortable, she feels the man’s body as she wraps her hands around him. This man is well built, more so than her husband. The natural human desires begin to dance around in her head. It would be impossible to know how strong these feelings were on this first ride. But one can be certain she at minimum went home that night and dreamed about this man in one way or another, and possibly used the thoughts of him to relieve herself.
The man offers another ride in the near future, and Becky accepts. They find a nice place to stop and chat, and the man steals a kiss. Becky is overwhelmed with fear and excitement all at once. The pent-up frustration takes toll on her commitment to her husband, and ultimately, she succumbs to the temptations.
Becky is invigorated, the two form an immediate bond and the intimate relations are intense, possibly better than she had ever experienced with her husband. If not that intense, it at least brought her mind and body back to a place she remembers experiencing years ago with her husband.
At this point, the damage is done, Becky has a decision to make. Does she tell her husband what had transpired? Her fear of her husband’s reactions overwhelms her. She doesn’t know what to do. Though she knows its wrong she continues this affair in one way or another, from time to time denying her friends requests for meet ups. But as her husband continues to distant himself from her, she is hopelessly lost, and decides to continue the relationship with her friend.
The duo begin to find creative ways to have meetings, often finding opportune times when Billy is busy at work, helping the community, or asleep on the couch due to the work load he has piled up on himself. He finds it easier to have a few drinks, relax on the couch, and fall asleep. All the while his wife is hopelessly lost in this new relationship, drifting closer to her lover and further away from her husband.
Becky tries to tell her husband in all other ways besides admitting her actions. But she really does try. She loves Billy, they are extremely compatible partners. She dearly wants the love and connection from her husband despite all of her frustrations and resentments.
To compound this problem, as the husband buries himself in his work, regardless of the warnings he gave his wife, he is stuck in this loop until he finds his niche in his new endeavor. As this develops, his uber focus prevents him from seeing what is right in front of him all this time, his incredible wife.
Somewhere during the above timeframe, the husband slowly had been developing an erectile dysfunction condition but is afraid to tell his wife. He tries to make up for his deficiencies by the toys which had been integrated into the bedroom, but Becky is growing increasingly tired of the disconnected feeling when she is using the toys as she truly wants the energy exchange from her husband. Billy is so afraid to address his erectile dysfunction that he allows it to go on for an extended period.
Becky and her friend continue to find times to meet and enjoy each other. However, a deeper problem is developing. Becky and her friend realize the feelings for each other are growing beyond that of simply physical stimulation. All the while Billy is still busy with his work and has not seen any of the signs, or more appropriately, likely chose not to really see them. He did not absorb exactly what was happening between he and his wife. He did not notice he was losing her day by day. Possibly to an irreparable level.
Suddenly, as Becky is nearing the edge of her frustration, she gives her husband a couple whacks in the head so to speak, she desperately tried to jog him out of this relationship slumber he had been in for almost two years. It takes a few tries, but Billy snaps out of it. He begins to alter his daily life, his business, his relationship with his life and family. However, it is highly likely it is too late. A love triangle has possibly developed, and Becky is right in the middle.
Billy, over the course of a week or two, begins to slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together. Though, in large part due to his actions, he had the potential to lose his wife the entire time he has been married, he realizes it has really been about two years that he has truly been slowly losing his wife.
The feelings, fears, and emotions rush through his body like nothing else in this world. As most humans, he fears the worst yet desperately hopes for best, knowing deep inside it was primarily his actions that created this situation. He is completely lost. He grows feelings of anxiety he has not felt since he discovered that his prior spouse had been cheating on him so many years ago, yet he knows deep inside he was a large contributor in developing the current state of affairs.
As Billy rifles through various thoughts in his head, he is truly unsure if he has lost his wife forever. Does she love her husband enough to endure the years of healing ahead? Is she just waiting for the right time to pull the trigger and end the marriage? Is she deeply in love with her friend? Does she hope she could maintain the love triangle or is she struggling with choosing a partner for the future once and for all.
Or is this simply ramblings of a madman, who is in such deep desperation for the love of his wife, has cooked up a cockamamie story to help justify his actions over the years. If so, this could have dire impacts as he could lose his wife either way if he pushes this narrative too far.
What should Billy do? Should he accept he created this mess and simply walk away? Does he continue to fight for his wife while committing to years of healing the relationship and his personal development process? Does he have what it takes to be a better person for his wife, a better partner, better friend, better lover?
…
When answering the question as to why someone could possibly think that a person, their spouse, could be capable of something which is outside the boundaries of their normal actions and behaviors, various scenarios could be considered. The desperation that sets in after a partner realizes they are losing their friend, soul mate, and lover can create a multitude of scenarios, some which are almost unbelievable, in a dire effort to understand what had gone wrong.
In the case of a spouse who has a fear that their partner may have strayed from their typical norms and values which are aligned with the commonly known “sanctity” of marriage, a scenario such as the following could be considered:
Meet Becky, a beautiful, strong, talented, smart, caring, giving woman whom, despite of the challenges she has faced since her childhood, has risen above every difficulty and grew into the incredible person she is today. Becky spends much of her time with her partner, family, and friends. However, she prefers to spend most of her spare time with her partner as time allows.
Becky was abused as a child and was thrown into the adult world at a young age. She has learned to first protect herself, no matter what, including her children and cherished friends and family members. Along the way, Becky ended up in a long-term relationship and marriage which had also been abusive. She had also been exposed to abusive behavior in her workplace for many years. Becky tends to put all others in front of herself, and when feels pressured she buries herself in work and other activities to keep herself occupied and protected. This also creates an outer shell which is difficult to break. Becky experienced a lifetime of people either taking advantage of her, or breaking her trust by infidelity, or other unfortunate dynamics which affected her belief that people can be true to her, and not break her trust by infidelity or other questionable behaviors. Becky had always maintained her devotion to her partner, despite her partners not offering the same respect to her. Becky, due to her experiences, has a tendency to create a shell when difficulty arises in her relationships likely due to her need to protect herself over the years, since childhood.
Meet Billy, an attractive, healthy, smart, capable man with a past like many others. Billy is a relatively kind man overall, very cerebral, liked by others in social situations, but prefers silence and solidity. Billy typically likes to spend most of his time with his partner and little else aside from a friend family member or gathering, as time allows.
Billy had a solid family background, went into the military at a young age, and experienced a multitude of relationship woes, deception, and infidelity, either first-hand or by seeing it happen to other people. Billy’s view of relationships, though built on a foundation of mistrust, is overall objective, and due primarily to his internal passion and desire to connect at intimate levels, he finds great enjoyment in the connection with a woman and views his partner as the object of his desire. Billy is as imperfect as any other human and has had his time engaged in infidelity as a young man, believing it is what he needed to do after he had been repeatedly cheated on by his partners. After behaving like this for a couple years in his early 20’s, Billy learned that this is not a way to treat your partner and he should always try to take the high road, at which point he vowed to always be true to his partner. Due to these experiences, however, Billy has developed a tendency to run away if he detects something is not right in his current situation.
Becky and Billy, at some point along the way, cross paths. The first day they met, they went on a wonderful motorcycle ride. They continued to share this love of motorcycle riding, along with many other various activities, which had allowed them to form a deep connection in a short period of time. Before you know it, the couple is deeply in love and quickly get married.
While making plans for the wedding, Billy discovers Becky had not been forthcoming with the fact that her friend, whom she was still engaged with at some level, had been her partner before him. Due to his past experiences in relationships, this makes Billy uncomfortable and Billy almost ends the engagement before the wedding.
Shortly after getting married, Billy realizes the extent of the financial damage Becky had experienced in her past marriage. Hoping to begin the relationship on an even keel, He offers an annulment in order to allow her the freedom to repair her financial situation in an efficient manner, With an offer for re-marriage sometime in the near future. Billy may have had good intent on the surface, but Becky could easily misinterpret this as an easy way to exit a regretful Situation for Billy. One could analyze this and believe that Billy may have offered this due to his insecure feelings of the early development of the marriage. Or maybe it was simply an offer to resolve things in an effective manner. In theory, If the couple truly loves each other, a piece of paper is just a piece of paper, and love, connection, and devotion would simply shine through in time. Theory is not always played out perfectly in practice, and the reasoning behind this offer could easily have remained unclear.
The couple formed a beautiful bond over time, and experience ups and downs like any other marriage. Some time passes, and Billy loses his job. Becky quickly steps in to help her husband and supports him in all aspects. Physically, emotionally, financially, and all others. Billy performs well along his journey and re-engages in the workforce. While Billy is in college, he took his motorcycle to school frequently, and was exposed to young college girls on a regular basis. Becky seemed to respond to this in an objective and adult manner. However, could there have been some question in the back of her mind due to her knowledge of Billy’s imperfect past coupled with the uncertainty he had injected in the relationship early on in the marriage when offering the annulment alternative? This is another scenario which can easily leave questions unanswered for both parties.
After re-engaging in the workforce, Billy and Becky had various ups and downs but mostly positive and enjoyable experiences. Things were getting stressful as Becky was feeling some of the frustrations she was having when Billy was out of work. She felt she was carrying the load of the family with no support from her husband. Billy understood her frustration but did not seem to show enough concern for what he had not done for her and their marriage, and they had some arguments. One day, when working together on a project, Becky’s pent up frustration exploded and an argument ensued. Billy decided to take the easy way out, as he had done in past relationships, and walked away from his marriage, and he decided to live apart for a couple months. The impact on Becky after she had done so much for him was enormous. She did not understand how he could do this to her after all she had done for him. Many nights she cried wondering what she had done. She wondered if there was someone else in Billy’s life. Though Billy was simply questioning his decision to be married, and no infidelity took place, there would be no way for Becky to know this, and this question festered in her mind ever since. It didn’t matter what Billy said to try and reassure her that there was truly nothing going on, the damage had been done.
The years went on and the couple experienced ups and downs. However, this time his and her careers began to impact their quality time together. They worked a ridiculous amount of hours, and the only time they spent together was doing the simple things such as grabbing food, having a drink or two, and socializing very occasionally. When people are tired and overwhelmed things such as intimate relations tend to suffer. The sex became more and more mechanical, and that wonderful feeling of intimacy slowly dwindled. There were attempts to bring some stimulation to the bedroom in forms of toys, but this is no replacement for that connection. This can also sometimes lead to fantastical mental expectations as the couple try to connect in some way. Sometimes the toys helped and sometimes it made the connection worse as the cerebral activity turned from deep connection to the need of physical satisfaction which overwhelmed the feelings of deep connection. So, in this process, sex turned from a beautiful intimate connection to more of a mechanical process, with only occasional deep connections. It is a debate of the ages as whether integrating toys into a relationship is helpful or hurtful over time. Could some seeds have been planted for either party to continue seeking stimulation at greater levels? Questions like this are sometimes never answered.
As time went on, the slight disconnect slowly grew larger and the gap widened. Sometimes this slow development is easy to ignore, or not see, and can grow worse over time. In the meantime ,there were ups and downs, good times had , bad times were dealt with and endured. Overall, the marriage was succeeding, however, those stains from previous experiences during their marriage remained. This phase of the relationship was somewhat stable, with frustrations from Becky’s experiences with Billy and his handling of various challenges mentioned before remained, and slowly began to grow into resentment.
At some point along the way, Billy was in a situation at work where a colleague needed a ride to work. Though Billy felt obligated, it would have been reasonable enough for him to not involve himself, he decided to bring this person to work. Unfortunately, due to the growing disconnect in the relationship coupled with the resentment he detected from Becky, he decided not to inform her of these rides to work as he felt she may think he was up to something as he had planted a seed of doubt in her when he left her for a couple months some years before. Albeit the rides in quantity were low, his decision not to tell Becky was uncalled for. Furthermore, Billy decided to take this girl on his motorcycle as he was trying to take advantage of the beautiful weather in the summer, though there was no excuse for his behavior. Becky speculated Billy must have been seeking something he felt he was missing at home, though he had assured her the rides were professional based. Becky would not accept this, understandably so, as Billy violated the sanctity, and foundation, of their relationship by bringing this girl to work on the very same motorcycle which was one of the catalysts for the beginning of the couple’s beautiful marriage. Becky wondered how he could have done this, Billy played it off as no big deal, while knowing he should have told his wife about the rides. And he knew deep down she would not approve of this girl riding on the back of his bike. On the surface, Billy though it to be no big deal, but that is a problem in itself. How could he think so little of the connection he had made with his wife on this motorcycle? Becky viewed this as a shallow response, and resentment grew of him for his unthoughtful decisions. Furthermore, how would Becky know that Billy wasn’t up to something else? There would be no way for her to know, this caused a huge gap of trust between the two. A gap which would be nearly impossible to fill over time. It would likely remain a large stain in their relationship for years to come, if not to each other’s graves.
During this time period, Billy decided to help his community as a volunteer. Though Becky’s and Billy’s lives were complicated enough as it was, Billy’s desire to give back to the community took precedence over effective time management. Becky supported his decision, although in the back of her mind she likely did not understand why Billy would add more to his plate with an already busy career and family life. Billy to this day is not sure why he was compelled to help his community with an already busy schedule and did not predict the effect this could have over time. In the back of Becky’s mind, she wondered if Billy was not feeling fulfilled in his home life, and wondered if she was not enough for him.
Somewhere along the way it was Becky this time who was not employed. In this case, she had experienced various traumas from her prior employer along with her experiences of abuse much of her lifetime. Becky decided it would be best to seek help and began her journey of therapy, healing, and regrowth. Becky was encouraged to bring all of the various struggles and abuses in her life to the surface and face them head on. This was a difficult but rewarding development for her personally, and she arose being an even stronger and empowered person.
During this journey, Becky had been struggling to maintain the household finances, Billy did not fully understand how much the household was struggling as he handed most of the financial reigns for the household to Becky. Unfortunately, Becky internalized much of this and even if she had made various comments about the struggles, Billy simply offered to provide more money if needed but felt his offer was not accepted in one way or another. The conversations regarding finances seemed to be sporadic and Billy felt like he left the responsibility with his wife’s capable hands. What Billy did not realize that Becky interpreted this as just one more thing that Billy does not care about within the relationship.
As Becky was going through her personal healing process, she decided to embark on a journey of physical transformation by means of body art. Anyone that is familiar with body art knows that one must be comfortable with providing access of intimate parts of their body to a body art professional. On the surface, this seems reasonable enough, how else would the body art be made, and the artist is a professional after all. If one digs a little deeper, they could wonder if this close connection with the artist, 100 percent professional as it was the entire time, helped satisfy a physical connection which was missing at home. Becky continues with this body art journey today, and it appears to remain as innocent as it was from the beginning. One could wonder, did this innocent physical contact plant a seed for the desire to be fulfilled at a deeper level?
Around the same time, Billy, after spending his entire life looking for the ideal business opportunity, has an epiphany, and for the first time in his life knows exactly what he wants to do for generating income for he and his wife for the rest of their lives. Billy knows when he decides to focus on something, he will obsess over it until he reaches what he deems to be a comfortable place in how to manage his new endeavor. Billy warns Becky that he will be uber focused and it will likely impact their relationship in the short term. Though not fair to Becky, he asks her to endure this lengthy time of focus. He had also warned her that he will get testy and short fused in general as he is trying to maintain his focus on one thing. One can easily see the flaws in this plan. What about his beautiful wife, his friend, his partner, his one and only. Why would he leave her in one of her greatest times of need. Why did his overwhelming fear of the future of this country and the entire world around us exceed the needs of the person most close to him. Though he had good intensions. And in 2021 timeframe the world did indeed appear to be falling apart, so were relationships, divorces were on the rise, suicides, and more. Why did he not decide instead to focus on helping his one true love. We may never know.
…
So, Becky decides she should wave a flag in front of Billy to try and make it obvious that she is here, right in front of him, has been feeling neglected, and would like to reconnect. She puts on a sexy outfit, one made for the bedroom only. Though Billy truly enjoyed this encounter with his wife, he suddenly realizes he is having trouble performing at the level he is used to. He needs to disconnect himself from Becky in his mind in order to ensure he can perform physically. Becky detects this and wonders what she had done wrong and if her husband thinks she is sexy.
Somewhere in this timeframe, Billy suddenly decides he is going to sell the motorcycle. Yes, I know, the motorcycle which he had created the beautiful connection with on the very first day they had met. Becky has always expressed her displeasure in Billy’s decision-making process. He often does not include her in his thinking process and simply makes quick decisions without regard of consulting with his wife. So, in this case, his overwhelming tendency to make decisions without including his wife was so strong he did not recognize the impact this action had on his wife. Becky was flabbergasted, she didn’t know what to do or say. She tried express her displeasure on the day of the final sale and her plea for his attention failed, she drove away in anger. Was this the straw that broke the camel’s back? Many would be inclined to say yes, likely so.
Over the course of the following two years, Becky makes it crystal clear to Billy and their friends and family that Billy sold the bike on her and expressed her extreme frustration and disappointment.
As Becky and Billy go through this phase in their marriage, some other family obligations arise which requires Billy’s attention. Becky kindly offers to help as well. Unfortunately, the tension between Billy and his family member effected the dynamic between himself, his mother, and his wife. Suddenly, Becky felt like an outsider in this endeavor and felt her help was being taken for granted and not fully appreciated. Despite all of this, Becky decided to put aside her feelings, and made the decision to help her family. Even after she had done a beautiful job, she felt like the family did not appreciate her help.
Somewhere in the timeframe of the stresses of dealing with Billy and his mother, Billy was being especially short fused as he had put too much on his plate already, and this was just one more thing to distract him from the person closest to him. His friend, his partner, his wonderful wife.
Billy likes to take an annual vacation away from the family to pursue his hobby. During this trip, Becky attended a holiday gathering of close friends and acquaintances. At this time, most people know Becky had already been expressing her displeasures about her husband selling his motorcycle. A man listening to this conversation, a man who has known Becky for years, keyed in on this conversation. He has always had a crush on her, and even possibly they may have dated in the past. The man is good looking, muscular, fit, and likely has the equipment necessary to get the job done properly. This friend approaches Becky and offers to give her a ride on his bike any time she wants. Becky is so frustrated with her husband not only selling the bike but taking a girl on the back if his bike without telling his wife! Somewhere along the way Becky decides to go on this ride. And lets face it, why should Becky feel obligated to tell her husband. Well, in reality, she shouldn’t feel obligated in any way shape or form. Though interpersonal relationships ideally do not fall into a dynamic of tit-for-tat behavior, it can easily happen just the same.
During the ride, Becky and her friend have nice conversations about everything in life. The conversation was easy, similar to the connection she had made with her husband so many years ago, the connection that Billy had suddenly stripped away from her without showing concern for her feelings.
As the ride progresses and she gets more comfortable, she feels the man’s body as she wraps her hands around him. This man is well built, more so than her husband. The natural human desires begin to dance around in her head. It would be impossible to know how strong these feelings were on this first ride. But one can be certain she at minimum went home that night and dreamed about this man in one way or another, and possibly used the thoughts of him to relieve herself.
The man offers another ride in the near future, and Becky accepts. They find a nice place to stop and chat, and the man steals a kiss. Becky is overwhelmed with fear and excitement all at once. The pent-up frustration takes toll on her commitment to her husband, and ultimately, she succumbs to the temptations.
Becky is invigorated, the two form an immediate bond and the intimate relations are intense, possibly better than she had ever experienced with her husband. If not that intense, it at least brought her mind and body back to a place she remembers experiencing years ago with her husband.
At this point, the damage is done, Becky has a decision to make. Does she tell her husband what had transpired? Her fear of her husband’s reactions overwhelms her. She doesn’t know what to do. Though she knows its wrong she continues this affair in one way or another, from time to time denying her friends requests for meet ups. But as her husband continues to distant himself from her, she is hopelessly lost, and decides to continue the relationship with her friend.
The duo begin to find creative ways to have meetings, often finding opportune times when Billy is busy at work, helping the community, or asleep on the couch due to the work load he has piled up on himself. He finds it easier to have a few drinks, relax on the couch, and fall asleep. All the while his wife is hopelessly lost in this new relationship, drifting closer to her lover and further away from her husband.
Becky tries to tell her husband in all other ways besides admitting her actions. But she really does try. She loves Billy, they are extremely compatible partners. She dearly wants the love and connection from her husband despite all of her frustrations and resentments.
To compound this problem, as the husband buries himself in his work, regardless of the warnings he gave his wife, he is stuck in this loop until he finds his niche in his new endeavor. As this develops, his uber focus prevents him from seeing what is right in front of him all this time, his incredible wife.
Somewhere during the above timeframe, the husband slowly had been developing an erectile dysfunction condition but is afraid to tell his wife. He tries to make up for his deficiencies by the toys which had been integrated into the bedroom, but Becky is growing increasingly tired of the disconnected feeling when she is using the toys as she truly wants the energy exchange from her husband. Billy is so afraid to address his erectile dysfunction that he allows it to go on for an extended period.
Becky and her friend continue to find times to meet and enjoy each other. However, a deeper problem is developing. Becky and her friend realize the feelings for each other are growing beyond that of simply physical stimulation. All the while Billy is still busy with his work and has not seen any of the signs, or more appropriately, likely chose not to really see them. He did not absorb exactly what was happening between he and his wife. He did not notice he was losing her day by day. Possibly to an irreparable level.
Suddenly, as Becky is nearing the edge of her frustration, she gives her husband a couple whacks in the head so to speak, she desperately tried to jog him out of this relationship slumber he had been in for almost two years. It takes a few tries, but Billy snaps out of it. He begins to alter his daily life, his business, his relationship with his life and family. However, it is highly likely it is too late. A love triangle has possibly developed, and Becky is right in the middle.
Billy, over the course of a week or two, begins to slowly put the pieces of the puzzle together. Though, in large part due to his actions, he had the potential to lose his wife the entire time he has been married, he realizes it has really been about two years that he has truly been slowly losing his wife.
The feelings, fears, and emotions rush through his body like nothing else in this world. As most humans, he fears the worst yet desperately hopes for best, knowing deep inside it was primarily his actions that created this situation. He is completely lost. He grows feelings of anxiety he has not felt since he discovered that his prior spouse had been cheating on him so many years ago, yet he knows deep inside he was a large contributor in developing the current state of affairs.
As Billy rifles through various thoughts in his head, he is truly unsure if he has lost his wife forever. Does she love her husband enough to endure the years of healing ahead? Is she just waiting for the right time to pull the trigger and end the marriage? Is she deeply in love with her friend? Does she hope she could maintain the love triangle or is she struggling with choosing a partner for the future once and for all.
Or is this simply ramblings of a madman, who is in such deep desperation for the love of his wife, has cooked up a cockamamie story to help justify his actions over the years. If so, this could have dire impacts as he could lose his wife either way if he pushes this narrative too far.
What should Billy do? Should he accept he created this mess and simply walk away? Does he continue to fight for his wife while committing to years of healing the relationship and his personal development process? Does he have what it takes to be a better person for his wife, a better partner, better friend, better lover?
…
Comment