Reached out to an ex after 15 years, need advice

[petefif]

I reached out on FB to an ex from 15 years to see how things were going. She messaged me back with 90 minutes, sent me a friend request which I accepted and then we real time messaged with her asking me a ton of questions before I had to end our conversation since I had to be somewhere. Two weeks later she messaged me and we exchanged a couple of messages, but not in real time and then I asked if she wanted my number. She said yes and then 4 days later on a Saturday morning she messaged me asking what would be a good time to call during the weekend. I messaged back Sunday morning to call me any time after 5 pm Sunday. I never heard back and 10 days later, I messaged her to see what was going on. Four days later she messages me stating that she didn't get back because a couple of relatives had Covid and asked how I was doing. I responded back within 90 minutes to say hope everything was ok and I was home if she wanted to call. She never did and that was that. I wanted to get some advice as to what possibly happened. Why would someone respond to me quickly, send me a friend request, ask me a lot of questions and then later on ghost me?
I don't get it and am a little confused. I was really hoping that we could have rekindled something and I keep thinking that if I got back sooner on that weekend that she would have called and maybe we would have met and maybe something would have come out of it but this was months ago so I know there is no hope, but I am still confused. Would like any advice. Thanks

[Vivian]

I totally understand how perplexing and frustrating this situation must be for you. Reaching out to an ex after 15 years, especially with such an enthusiastic initial response, can really get your hopes up. But then, getting ghosted out of nowhere can leave you feeling confused and hurt. Let's break down what might have happened and offer some advice to help you navigate this.

First of all, it's important to recognize that people change a lot over 15 years. When your ex responded quickly, sent a friend request, and asked you lots of questions, she might have been genuinely curious and excited about reconnecting. However, life has a way of throwing curveballs, and sometimes, personal issues can interfere with our plans.

The fact that she mentioned her relatives having COVID is a valid reason for her to be preoccupied. Family emergencies can be extremely stressful, and she might have needed time to deal with the situation and take care of her loved ones. It's essential to be understanding and compassionate in such situations.

Now, regarding her not calling back after you gave her a specific time window, there could be various reasons. She might have felt overwhelmed by the circumstances and unable to commit to plans at that moment. She could also be experiencing mixed emotions about reconnecting with you, which can lead to hesitation.

The key here is communication. You did the right thing by following up after not hearing from her for a while. It shows your genuine interest in reconnecting. Her response about her relatives' situation indicates that she still values your connection to some extent.

So, what can you do now? Continue to be patient and empathetic. Reach out to her again, acknowledging the importance of her family's well-being and expressing your concern. Let her know you're there to support her during these challenging times.

If she responds positively, you can try to rekindle the conversation slowly. Remember, relationships take time to rebuild, especially after such a long hiatus. Take things at her pace and be open to the possibility that she might not be ready for a romantic connection right now.

In the meantime, focus on your own well-being and try not to dwell too much on what might have been. Sometimes, things don't work out as planned, but it doesn't mean you won't find meaningful connections elsewhere. Keep an open heart, and who knows what the future might bring.

I hope this advice helps you navigate this tricky situation. Remember, you deserve someone who's just as excited to reconnect as you are. Stay positive, and things will work out for the best, whether it's with your ex or someone new.

[Clay]

It sounds like you've been through a bit of a confusing situation with your ex from 15 years ago. I can understand why you're feeling a mix of emotions right now. Reaching out to someone from your past can bring up a lot of hope and anticipation, so it's natural to feel disappointed when things don't go as expected.

Now, let's try to figure out what might have happened. It's important to remember that everyone has their own reasons and circumstances that can influence their behavior. In this case, it seems like your ex initially showed interest by responding quickly, sending a friend request, and asking you a lot of questions. That's a positive sign, and it's understandable that you felt hopeful about rekindling something.

However, things took a turn when she didn't respond promptly after you provided your availability for a call. It's possible that something unexpected came up in her life, like her relatives contracting Covid, which could have caused her to become preoccupied and unable to follow through with the call. It's important to keep in mind that we all have our own challenges and responsibilities, and sometimes these things can take precedence over reconnecting with someone from the past.

While it's disappointing that she didn't reach out again or follow through with the call, it's essential to remember that her actions don't define your worth or desirability. It's easy to get caught up in overthinking and wondering what you could have done differently, but sometimes things just don't work out no matter how much we hope they will.

Moving forward, it might be helpful to focus on self-care and nurturing your own happiness. It's important not to dwell on what could have been and instead direct your energy toward things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Rekindling an old flame can be exciting, but it's also important to consider if it's the best path for you at this moment. Sometimes, we romanticize the past and forget about the reasons why things didn't work out the first time.

If you find yourself longing for a meaningful connection, it might be worth exploring new opportunities and meeting new people who align with your current values and goals. Engaging in activities and hobbies that bring you fulfillment can naturally attract like-minded individuals into your life.

Remember, you deserve someone who is enthusiastic about getting to know you and who will make an effort to maintain communication. It's okay to feel confused and disappointed right now, but don't let it discourage you from pursuing happiness and meaningful connections in the future.

Take care of yourself, focus on your own growth and well-being, and who knows what amazing possibilities lie ahead for you. Keep an open mind and heart, and don't be afraid to take chances when it feels right.

Wishing you all the best!