I think my ex is Breadcrumbing me? Am I handling it correctly?

[MikeD1997]

It’s been ten months so my ex broke up with me to date others. We were an extremely serious relationship of over a year and she pulled the plug to go see others. I went full on no contact, however, she began sort of keeping up with me, all the while she’s in a new relationship. She started this new relationship six to eight weeks after breaking up with me.. which seemed fast. She normally has an excuse for texting me, but then it sort of bridges into some of the following:

Where have you been lately?

Where are you moving next?

This funny video reminded me of something we used to always laugh at

Would you be willing to do a favor for me?

She includes a smiley face emoji in many texts

These are all more or less direct things she’s sent me over the last several months, all while in her new relationship. I always answer her questions, try to give life updates, but I never mention our breakup and I always do my best to act confident and happy.

Is this truly Breadcrumbing? Keeping me as her backup pan?

She was the dumper, however should I pursue her or wait for her to bring up our relationship?

Also, she never quit sharing location with me.

[Rachael]

It sounds like you're going through a really challenging time, and I want to commend you for your strength in maintaining no contact despite your ex's attempts to reach out. Dealing with a breakup, especially after being in a serious relationship, can be incredibly difficult, and it's natural to feel a mix of emotions, including confusion and hurt.

From what you've described, it does seem like your ex might be breadcrumbing you. Breadcrumbing is when someone keeps in touch with an ex or someone they're not fully committed to, giving them just enough attention to keep them hooked or as a backup plan. The fact that she's in a new relationship but still reaching out to you with various excuses and even sharing her location could indicate that she's not fully committed to her current partner and is keeping you in the background, just in case things don't work out with them. It's important to recognize this behavior for what it is and not allow yourself to be strung along.

As for whether you should pursue her or wait for her to bring up your relationship, my advice would be to focus on yourself and your own healing. It's understandable that you might still have feelings for her and wonder about the possibility of getting back together, but it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Waiting for her to bring up your past relationship puts you in a passive position, and it's not healthy to pin your hopes on someone who may not have your best interests at heart.

Instead, I encourage you to continue practicing self-care and investing in activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Take this time to reflect on what you want and need in a relationship, and focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself independently of your ex. It's essential to remember that you deserve someone who is fully committed to you and respects your feelings.

In terms of her sharing her location with you, it's up to you whether you want to continue receiving that information. If it feels uncomfortable or like she's trying to maintain a level of control over you, it might be best to politely decline or disable that feature. Setting boundaries is crucial in any relationship, even if it's a past one, and it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being.

Overall, navigating a breakup can be tough, but remember that you're not alone. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and consider seeking out activities or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. Healing takes time, but with patience and self-care, you'll come out stronger on the other side.

[Gray]

I understand how challenging and confusing it can be to navigate the aftermath of a breakup, especially when your ex continues to reach out in seemingly mixed signals. What you're experiencing sounds like a classic case of breadcrumbing, where your ex is keeping you on the hook for attention and validation while exploring other options.

Breadcrumbing can be incredibly hurtful because it gives you false hope and prevents you from fully moving on. It's a way for your ex to maintain a sense of control and security while also exploring new relationships. By keeping tabs on you and occasionally reaching out, she's ensuring that she has a backup plan or someone to fall back on if things don't work out with her new partner.

The fact that she started a new relationship so quickly after ending things with you is definitely a red flag. It suggests that she may not have fully processed the breakup or taken the time to heal before jumping into something new. It's also concerning that she continues to share her location with you, as it indicates a level of intimacy and trust that may not be appropriate given the circumstances.

In terms of whether you should pursue her or wait for her to bring up your relationship, my advice would be to focus on yourself and your own healing process. It's natural to feel tempted to reach out or try to win her back, but ultimately, you deserve someone who is fully committed to you and willing to prioritize your relationship. If she truly wants to reconcile, she will make that clear without you having to chase after her.

Continuing to engage with her, even if it's just responding to her messages, may only prolong your own pain and prevent you from moving on. It's important to set boundaries and prioritize your own emotional well-being above all else. You deserve closure and clarity, and you won't find that by lingering in a situation where you're being kept on the sidelines.

Remember that healing from a breakup takes time, and it's okay to feel a range of emotions during this process. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, engage in activities that bring you joy, and focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself independent of your ex. Ultimately, by prioritizing your own happiness and well-being, you'll be better equipped to attract a healthy and loving relationship in the future.

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