I lost my ex girlfriend

[ray]

I lost my ex girlfriend 2 monds ago, everything went wel until she moved away for 6 monds to study in a diffrent country. I visited here twice and she cried everytime i left. 2 weeks later she broke up with me becos we had a argument about the futher she wants to study two years abroad and maybe live there with out discussing it with me. So we decided to do longdistance or i move there in the futher to a place where we both be happy. The last argument we had was when she was already there and told me that she could not do longdistance. I reacted with do you want to break up. She needed to think about it. And she was only looking for support. 3 days later she broke up with me. 1.5 week later i drove 5 hours to see here. She gave me 10 different things. Everytime its somethings different. Im to nice, she lost attraction and feelings, we where to different, i was to closed off. ( i became closed of becose off my cash flow. I could not pay a gift of a nice day out.) She contacted me once becos my grandma was celebrating here birthday and becos she tought i used here account. But she knows i dont know the code to the account. Afther this i used know contact. For 30 days. I saw here in a club she was here for the weekend. She tried to avoid me. I left to get air and got back inside she was standjng next to my friends when i came back. She was talking to some guy. Afther that she left and i left minutes later. She told me sorry that i ruined your night. Im leaving in a couple of days. I told here it wasn't here. It was the people that where asking if i am okay that anoyed me. We talked about here studying and my studying. She told me that she had problems with here friends and family and she wants to leave the city after she she gets here degree.. i told here she had great friends and fam and she didn't need to make a bad decision. When we where texting she was a bit cold And now she doesn't respond. She's a real stuborn person

what can i do/or text to get here back?
do i wait for here six mond semester?
what do i say? When do i contact here?
do i still got a chance with here?

thanks ray.

[ray]

She's a verry carrier minded person.

[Becky]

If you've spent any time researching how to win back your ex girlfriend, you've probably come across a number of articles and relationship experts who argue that you shouldn't contact your ex for a certain period of time after breaking up (usually 3-5 weeks). That's great advice, and should be followed in almost all situations.

What most breakup gurus fail to mention, however, is that the way you begin to re-establish communication with your ex girlfriend can have a massive impact on your chances of success. If you haven't spoken to your ex in a month, then you absolutely cannot phone her up and ask to get back together... this will "weird her out" and won't help your cause at all.

If your ex girlfriend didn't reach out any talk to you at all during the "no contact" period, don't stress yourself out -- it's still very possible for you to win back her heart and re-build a new life together. But you need to be careful and methodical with the way you begin to talk to your ex again, and slowly re-build her attraction and re-shape her perception of you.

That's where text messages can be extremely helpful. The advantage to a text message is that it's short (usually 160 characters or less) and doesn't require your ex to answer a phone call or drag out an awkward conversation. Text messages are a great way to break the ice and start talking to your ex again.

So, what are the kinds of things that you can text your ex girlfriend once the 'no contact' period is over? To begin with, all of your text messages should be casual and playful, so don't bring up serious topics such as the breakup or your desire to get back together. Instead, start by sending her something seemingly harmless and meaningless just to show her that you're still around and doing fine without her.

One great way to initiate communication is to send your ex a message that references an inside joke that she'll understand. As an example, let's say you and your ex girlfriend share a love for the TV show "Friends". You can use this to shape a light-hearted text message such as: "Hey, I was at Starbucks this afternoon and saw a girl who looked IDENTICAL to 'Phoebe' from Friends... she even had the same squeeky voice!"

The beauty of this casual and playful text message is that it a) doesn't require any response from your ex girlfriend and b) doesn't indicate that you miss your ex or want her back. For the first few weeks after ending the 'no contact' phase, all of the texts you send to your ex girlfriend should be equally casual and harmless.

If you can't think of any inside jokes to reference in a text, another option is to ask your girlfriend a specific question that may spark memories of you and the happy times you shared together. For example, you could say something like, "Hi there! Just wondering... any chance you remember the name of that restaurant we went to for your aunt's birthday party?"

Again, this is a casual text that should incite a reply from your ex... without setting off any of her natural defense mechanisms which may push her further away. Once you receive a reply and slowly begin to talk with your ex girlfriend more regularly, you can slowly start the process or seducing her again and re-igniting her romantic feelings for you.

Lastly, you can also make a suggestion in your text message rather than asking a question, as this will show your ex that you remember and cherish certain memories of the time you spent together. For example, you could text her: "Hey, I just ate at this fantastic Thai restaurant downtown... you should definitely try it, because I know you love Thai food!"

One important thing to keep in mind: you should be sending these text messages to slowly re-build the lines of communication between you and your ex, not to ask questions about the breakup or beg her to get back together. Only talk about 'serious' topics (ie. the state of your relationship, etc) in person after you've hung out with your ex several times. Text messages are just the catalyst to kick-start an ongoing dialogue with your ex.

Hopefully the examples provided above will give you a few potential text messages to send your ex after the 'no contact' period has ended. If you continue to play your cards right and re-build her romantic attraction for you, it's only a matter of time before you're a happy couple again. Best of luck!

[John]

Your girlfriend stopped loving you and you're at a loss. You don't know what to do and you can't even begin to fathom a life that doesn't include her. All you can think of is when you two were still together and very much in love. Now every day tasks feel like a chore and the hours drag on and on. You know you can't continue to live in this constant state of mourning but you are unsure what your next move should be. If you want her back, you have to try and make it happen. If you don't, it will be something you'll regret forever.

If your girlfriend stopped loving you, it's up to you to determine when and why that happened. It's obviously impossible to pinpoint the exact moment that she fell out of love but consider whether there was time when you could feel her start to slip away from you. Perhaps you two had a major disagreement or you started to take her for granted. Something changed the dynamic so dramatically that she felt the need to pull back. Once you identify what you believe that is, it's important to apologize for it.

Be sincere when you tell her that you want to make amends. Let her know that you have deep regrets and if you could do things over, you'd definitely do them differently. Although this can't erase what's happened in the past, it can set the foundation for a future that is free of all the pain from your break up.

You also have to show her that you're a changed man now. You can't expect your girlfriend to fall back in love with you if nothing is different. Work on becoming a better person. Focus on the qualities that you know she wants most in a partner. If you can transform yourself into her ideal man, she'll open her heart back up.

You absolutely must be patient if you want to get your girlfriend back in love with you. You can't rush her by giving her ultimatums or trying to guilt her into taking you back. Instead you have to look at it as a new journey towards a renewed relationship. Start by forging forward as friends. Become the best friend you can to her and in time she'll start to see you as someone she can trust and depend on. Once that happens, you can then pursue the romance again.

[Elizabeth]

You were dumped by your girlfriend. Does it feel anything like you imagined it would? If you're like most men this happens to you probably couldn't ever fully comprehend the pain that comes with it until she said it was over. That's when your world was turned upside down. You watched her walk out of your life and there was little you could do to stop her. Now that some time has passed and your heart has had a chance to heal you realize that you're not over her. You weren't ready for things to end because you love the woman. You wish you could get her to want you again but first you have to make her realize she made a mistake dumping you. Is that possible? It certainly is and it's actually not that hard to make her regret the break up.

In order to make her realize she made a mistake you have to show her what a catch you still are. You're not going to be able to do that if you present yourself as an emotionally overwrought guy who can't get over her. If you've been chasing after her trying to get her to want you again, that's the first thing you need to change. Right now she knows that you'd move heaven and earth to get another chance with her. That gives her all the power in your broken relationship and it doesn't make you seem all that appealing to her at all. In order to get her to regret dumping you, you have to show her that you don't need or want her anymore.

You do need to be subtle with this. It's obviously not a good idea to march over to your ex girlfriend's house to tell her that you're dumping her too. That's a bad idea. What will work is if you brush yourself off, pick up your self esteem and start living again. If you appear happy without her it's going to impact her more than you realize. She'll see that you are fine without her and that's going to force her to contemplate what she did and what that means for her future.

It's important for you to appear to let her go during this time. That means you need to temper how much you talk with her and you shouldn't even mention anything about wanting to get back together with her. Instead, go out with friends, flirt a bit and move forward with your life. She'll come to see that you are a strong man who is still desirable. Her realizing this will help remind her of all the wonderful moments you two had and that will tug at her heart strings and make her realize she make a mistake when she let you go.

[ray]

I did the no contact, but how do inconect with here. It's a longdistance relationship. Here recponce is a lil cold when i text here. She added me to social media again. Do i stop texting here for a week. What can i do ?

[Becky]

I did the no contact, but how do inconect with here. It's a longdistance relationship. Here recponce is a lil cold when i text here. She added me to social media again. Do i stop texting here for a week. What can i do ?

So if you think you're ready to make contact with your ex girlfriend again without having a mental meltdown than its time to initiate step number 2... Make the first phone call! So to ensure you're not going in blind here's some quick guidelines for you to follow:

1. Choose a moment to make the call when you think you and your ex will have a few extra minutes to talk quietly.

2. When she picks up (and throughout the phone call for that matter) always maintain a lighthearted, casual attitude.

3. Make sure you keep the conversation short (10 minutes max.).

With these three things in mind, it's time to initiate contact. When she picks up, start of the conversation by talking about surface level things like how she's doing & what's new since the last time the two of you spoke. Keep things casual and DO NOT let yourself get sucked into deep conversations about the past and if she's been dating or not. Remember, the point of this phone call is to initiate contact and get them out on a casual date.

If all seems to be going well, very casually suggest the two of you get together for some coffee or lunch. DO NOT ask her to go to the movies, dinner, or anything that might suggest you're trying to make things serious between you two.

If things are kept lighthearted, you're most likely going to get a YES for the date, but there always the chance you'll get a NO. If this happens, DO NOT react negatively, by begging or whining. Simply say "no problem, some other time" and carry on. This will leave a good impression on her, therefore setting yourself up for the next time you try asking her out on a casual date.

Even if the date scenario doesn't go as planned and she declines your offer, just the fact that you even had a normal conversation with her without negative vibes should be encouraging. Remember, your goal here was to initiate contact and you succeeded!