How to handle a long distance relationship?

[emmazarah]

Hi,

I have been in a relationship for the past 1 year and I truly love him. He is so possessive of me and I somehow manage him as we are meeting on every alternate day. I always try my level best to keep him happy, but now I am afraid.

I have got accepted into the University of Wollongong in Dubai for my UG Program and I will be moving there by the next month. He is totally disappointed for this

Also I am not so good at solving issues through phone calls. I don't know how am I going to handle the situation.

Can anyone tell me what and all should I do to make him happy while I am not around?

I don't want to miss him.

Please share your suggestions.

Thank you.

[SmallTalk]

Where does he live at the moment? You know how exhausting studies are and you say your relationship is stressful too? If he is so possessive he wants to be in contact as often as he can and he will want to control you. You are a very beautiful girl and he surely will be jealous all the time. Do you really see a future for yourself and him? Love is fine, but is it enough to struggle a lifetime? Normally possessive guys don't get better, usually they get worse. Just think about it. And if it is getting too much for you make a wise decision for you and your future. Good luck.

[Richard]

First of all, if you want your relationship to work, what you need to do is to realize that it has just about the same chance of working out as much as proximal relationships do. Based on the research conducted by the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationship, 3.75 million marriages in US are considered as long distance.

Also, 32.5% of college relationships are also considered as LDR, while 75% of engaged couples literally started from LDR. And on top of this, as the relationship progresses, long distance love becomes less and less prone to breakups.

Now that you know that long distance love affair work, the next thing you need to do is to form an agreement before you and your partner pat ways. Try to agree on what type of relationship you have and what your boundaries are.

One of the advantages of doing this is that it will help you and your partner avoid from thinking negative thoughts about one another such as jealousy and doubts. An agreement will help you know what you can expect from your relationship and what your limitations are.

Creating an agreement will help you and your partner avoid doing things that will hurt each other and your relationship. In addition, it will also help you reassure each other about how each of you really feels about the other.

But aside from forming an agreement, you should also schedule a time for communication. Decide on what communication module you should use when talking to one another. One of the good things about creating a schedule for communication is that it will allow you to keep your relationship strong and it can help update you to the current events in the life of your partner. Also, it will help you avoid interrupting each other's life, which can also cause turmoil in your relationship.

After you agree on a certain time and day to communicate, make absolutely sure that you stick to it. And, if ever there comes a time when you will be late or you can't make it, then you should inform your partner several days or hours prior to such time and day.

And as for the final advice in this long distance relationship guide; introduce your friends, colleagues or whoever your constant companions are to your partner. Allow your partner to get to know your constant companions. However, you should be open to his assumptions or his opinions about your friends or colleagues. If ever there is someone your partner doesn't like or trust, then limit your time with that someone. This way you can ease your partner's worries, doubts and whatever negative emotions whenever you're out.

[Sandra]

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Do long distance relationships work?

The short answer is: sometimes. A lot depends on how you handle the situation. Some end up in marriage proposals, and some just end! If you are reading this, chances are you are determined to make it work. If you are already married, the challenge is much the same. You want to keep the love alive.

Let's take a look at some things to watch out for, as well as tips to help you make your long distance relationship work.

The Negative Side

Long distance relationships face challenges:

• Fear of infidelity
• Insecurity in the relationship
• Missing the physical closeness
• Drifting apart in a variety of ways
• Frustration at not being able to physically be there for you partner, especially in times of difficulty

The Positive Side

Surprisingly, The Center's stats tell us that it is a misconception that fidelity is a bigger problem in long distance relationships than in regular ones. With that encouraging fact, let's look at some of the ways you can keep your LD partner's love alive:

1. Write to them. There is something about the written word that brings out our deeper thoughts and feelings. For one thing, we can edit our thoughts and comments, unlike on the telephone! We can also say things that we might be too shy to verbalize. Reading a lover's words can go a long way towards cementing feelings of love. Even outside of romantic expression, sharing thoughts, opinions and ideas on paper can actually bring you closer than if you were physically together.

2. Plan Fun Activities You Can Share, for example:

• Decide to read the same book and discuss it
• Play an online game together
• Go through a Questions for Couples book
• Cook up the same gourmet recipe and compare how each other's turned out

Work on a research project together, such as:

• planning a dream vacation
• designing a future home
• organizing a special event
• creating the ultimate music playlist

3. Share Your Problems Too

Partners like to help each other and it makes them feel valued (just don't over-burden!)

4. Discuss Mutual Friends, as Well As New Ones

This will help you stay connected and feel part of each other's lives

5. Skype

It's fun to be able to see your lover as well as hear them. Plan the time in advance, accounting for time zone differences.

Just like a regular relationship, long distance ones take a little TLC. Keeping that in mind, yours could be among the 60% of long distance relationships that really work!

[emmazarah]

First of all, if you want your relationship to work, what you need to do is to realize that it has just about the same chance of working out as much as proximal relationships do. Based on the research conducted by the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationship, 3.75 million marriages in US are considered as long distance.

Also, 32.5% of college relationships are also considered as LDR, while 75% of engaged couples literally started from LDR. And on top of this, as the relationship progresses, long distance love becomes less and less prone to breakups.

Now that you know that long distance love affair work, the next thing you need to do is to form an agreement before you and your partner pat ways. Try to agree on what type of relationship you have and what your boundaries are.

One of the advantages of doing this is that it will help you and your partner avoid from thinking negative thoughts about one another such as jealousy and doubts. An agreement will help you know what you can expect from your relationship and what your limitations are.

Creating an agreement will help you and your partner avoid doing things that will hurt each other and your relationship. In addition, it will also help you reassure each other about how each of you really feels about the other.

But aside from forming an agreement, you should also schedule a time for communication. Decide on what communication module you should use when talking to one another. One of the good things about creating a schedule for communication is that it will allow you to keep your relationship strong and it can help update you to the current events in the life of your partner. Also, it will help you avoid interrupting each other's life, which can also cause turmoil in your relationship.

After you agree on a certain time and day to communicate, make absolutely sure that you stick to it. And, if ever there comes a time when you will be late or you can't make it, then you should inform your partner several days or hours prior to such time and day.

And as for the final advice in this long distance relationship guide; introduce your friends, colleagues or whoever your constant companions are to your partner. Allow your partner to get to know your constant companions. However, you should be open to his assumptions or his opinions about your friends or colleagues. If ever there is someone your partner doesn't like or trust, then limit your time with that someone. This way you can ease your partner's worries, doubts and whatever negative emotions whenever you're out.

Thank you so much for the suggestions Richard.

Scheduling a time for communication, introducing my friends to him and the related things you explained makes sense and I will definitely do those things. But I am afraid about the agreement. I mean, what will I do if he takes it in a wrong way? Because an agreement is a formal one and he may not be ok with such things

[emmazarah]

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Do long distance relationships work?

The short answer is: sometimes. A lot depends on how you handle the situation. Some end up in marriage proposals, and some just end! If you are reading this, chances are you are determined to make it work. If you are already married, the challenge is much the same. You want to keep the love alive.

Let's take a look at some things to watch out for, as well as tips to help you make your long distance relationship work.

The Negative Side

Long distance relationships face challenges:

• Fear of infidelity
• Insecurity in the relationship
• Missing the physical closeness
• Drifting apart in a variety of ways
• Frustration at not being able to physically be there for you partner, especially in times of difficulty

The Positive Side

Surprisingly, The Center's stats tell us that it is a misconception that fidelity is a bigger problem in long distance relationships than in regular ones. With that encouraging fact, let's look at some of the ways you can keep your LD partner's love alive:

1. Write to them. There is something about the written word that brings out our deeper thoughts and feelings. For one thing, we can edit our thoughts and comments, unlike on the telephone! We can also say things that we might be too shy to verbalize. Reading a lover's words can go a long way towards cementing feelings of love. Even outside of romantic expression, sharing thoughts, opinions and ideas on paper can actually bring you closer than if you were physically together.

2. Plan Fun Activities You Can Share, for example:

• Decide to read the same book and discuss it
• Play an online game together
• Go through a Questions for Couples book
• Cook up the same gourmet recipe and compare how each other's turned out

Work on a research project together, such as:

• planning a dream vacation
• designing a future home
• organizing a special event
• creating the ultimate music playlist

3. Share Your Problems Too

Partners like to help each other and it makes them feel valued (just don't over-burden!)

4. Discuss Mutual Friends, as Well As New Ones

This will help you stay connected and feel part of each other's lives

5. Skype

It's fun to be able to see your lover as well as hear them. Plan the time in advance, accounting for time zone differences.

Just like a regular relationship, long distance ones take a little TLC. Keeping that in mind, yours could be among the 60% of long distance relationships that really work!

Thank you Sandra for your reply. It is really helpful. Thanks a lot

[emmazarah]

Where does he live at the moment? You know how exhausting studies are and you say your relationship is stressful too? If he is so possessive he wants to be in contact as often as he can and he will want to control you. You are a very beautiful girl and he surely will be jealous all the time. Do you really see a future for yourself and him? Love is fine, but is it enough to struggle a lifetime? Normally possessive guys don't get better, usually they get worse. Just think about it. And if it is getting too much for you make a wise decision for you and your future. Good luck.

Hey, I have replied for your suggestion. But it's not showing up and I just noticed it now. Thank you so much for your concern. You said the same thing what my best friend told me. He is currently living in India.
I love him so much and I don't want to miss him .

[stephcoet46]

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[Robert johnson]

My suggestions are that you contact your university and after going there, make phone calls and video calls and take care of them from there.