Mixed signals from ex

[Sarah o]

My ex ended our relationship 3 months ago because after 17 months of long distance and a year of that time him saying he wanted us to be together properly and me saying I would make that happen ( it was down to me because he’s stuck in another country with a sick mum ) I didn’t make that move due to personal issues which meant I didn’t have the emotional strength to up sticks and move to another country, I desperately wanted to do that and permanently be with him but I couldn’t cope with sorting out such a big thing. As a result he said he couldn’t go on doing long distance as it broke his heart every time he’d take me back to the airport and he ended the relationship. What’s confusing me is he said immediately after he ended it he really wants us to maintain a friendship and how we’d have a fantastic friendship and 3 months on, we talk on the phone at least once a day and 95% of the time he initiates contact with me. He really overly verbalizes the “friends” thing and mentions it a lot. Also once during a conversation after we broke up he said “ I love you” I replied “ please don’t say that as confusing “ to which he majorly hesitated then said “ um you can love someone in other ways than in a romantic way “ It’s really hard because I didn’t want to break up but the fact he keeps initiating contact with me and some things he says are confusing and I don’t know what he truly wants

[Ella]

I will suggest you don't take anything he says seriously, however, you should consider moving on. The fact is that, the more you communicate with him and deliberate on the relationship, the more hurt you become.

[Brett]

Here are 6 of the most common reasons your ex might be sending you mixed signals after a breakup.

1.) They are still in love with you and they are testing you to see how you respond because they are unsure if you still have feelings for them. For example, they might flirt with you to see if you flirt back. Then, they may become withdrawn the next time they see you if they didn't get the response they were hoping for.

2.) They still love you, but they were hurt in the relationship, so they're not quite sure if trying to get back together is a good idea or not. Therefore, they may be affectionate and flirty one minute, and the next minute be withdrawn if they feel like they might get hurt again by getting too close.

3.) They are trying to be manipulative to get physical contact and/or sex. For example, your ex might flirt with you to try and seduce you into sleeping with them. If they are successful, then the next day they may be distant because they were only after "ex sex".

4.) They want to "have their cake and eat it too" so to speak. They may be trying to hold on to you while they figure out if you're the person they truly want or not. They may want to see who else is out there, but at the same time they don't want to lose you completely in case they decide you're the person they truly love and want to be with again.

5.) They miss you and feel needy and/or lonely from time to time. After a breakup, it's common for people to feel sad and lonely. If your ex has a weak moment and misses you, then you may find them trying to be more friendly and affectionate toward you. Once some of those emotions fade away, then they may pull away again.

6.) They are simply confused about their own emotions and aren't sure exactly what they want. They are having a difficult time in their own heart and mind figuring out if they should try to repair the relationship or just give up and move on.