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Good evening everyone,
Here is the problem that eats the inside of my head for a couple of month now and I know this is gonna sound crazy :
To sum up, I got transferred to the U.S for work purpose for a year only (dream come true for me). I went out a couple of nights before flying there and met this girl that i felt immediately attracted to and spent the night with her. We connected perfectly and had the night of my life. I really felt things I have never felt for someone before and I strongly believe that was the same for her.
I then had to take my plane and started my life here but stayed in touch with her for around 6 months. We spent many many many hours over the phone and at some point even agreed to be girlfriend \ boyfriend. She shared all her life and secrets with me and did the same for her.
She started being a bit too ''present'' at some point (around 4 months after I flew over here) as she left the city we met for the summer and I believe felt pretty isolated and needed me.
She wanted to have more attention from me but could not offer her because I was working too much. I got a bit scared of it and told her I was feeling different and also needed to focus on my new job here. I was also a bit upset she never really booked her tickets to visit me here as we both planned it for weeks. She is 19 and I am 29 and really felt in another world than her and realized our age difference was actually a big problem for me. Yet, I still had feelings for her and really wanted to see her.
Things got hard for me in the US and understood I was not so happy there and really started missing her. We started talking again and "got back together" for a few months. She then moved back to the place we met and got busy on her side as well. While things got harder for me, I realized I was the one who needed her because I was in need of attention and affection.
One day, I felt she was getting away from me and did not really answer my messages anymore and understood what I feared the most, she met another guy.
She called me explained me what happened and told me how sorry she was after I saw her posting stuff on social medias with another dude. She deeply apologized for the way she made me find out.
I thought I could easily get over it, that she was just a super young girl that I only met once anyway. But my situation here did not change and started thinking of her every day and night and felt I did not express myself enough when we "broke up" so I called her back to get more answers. She started crying over the phone and told me she really really liked this new guy but that I would always be special for her and even told me she was thinking of me everyday as well. (Not nice for her new bf)
I removed her from Facebook and snapchat and started a non contact rule. I invested time in myself, got promoted at work, started the gym met great people here even if I am definitely going back to the city we met in a few months. One day, I realized I forgot to remove her from Instagram but did not feel the need to do it anymore. I started posted pics of me (mainly to tease her) and she posted back her pic of her with the title : "You will break me (heart)" in my own language. It messed up my mind big time and started thinking of her even more and saw this move as her reaching out to me after the non contact period.
I waited for a couple of weeks and decided to take news from her, as a friend, because we said we would not become strangers. She seemed very happy that I did so and answered right away but (I believe) quickly talked about her bf in her messages. I posted a pic of me again on Insta after she did the same and then disappeared from it for around two weeks until today.
I am going back to city she lives in in 5 months and I have been advised to keep in touch with her from time to time so we could meet as friends when the time will come.
I am not sure what I want this relationship to elvove to and am really confused about my feelings but really miss her at the same time. This hurts to text her and I don't picture her taking news from me (can't explain why).
My question is : what should I do now ? I know this sounds crazy and maybe cannot be considered as a love story anyway but the solitude here really gets to me sometimes and would really really love to meet her one day again. What are my chances ? Should I keep taking news from her if she doesn't even text me ? Am I just very isolated and confused ?
Sorry for the long post.
Merry christmas and happy new Year !
Here is the problem that eats the inside of my head for a couple of month now and I know this is gonna sound crazy :
To sum up, I got transferred to the U.S for work purpose for a year only (dream come true for me). I went out a couple of nights before flying there and met this girl that i felt immediately attracted to and spent the night with her. We connected perfectly and had the night of my life. I really felt things I have never felt for someone before and I strongly believe that was the same for her.
I then had to take my plane and started my life here but stayed in touch with her for around 6 months. We spent many many many hours over the phone and at some point even agreed to be girlfriend \ boyfriend. She shared all her life and secrets with me and did the same for her.
She started being a bit too ''present'' at some point (around 4 months after I flew over here) as she left the city we met for the summer and I believe felt pretty isolated and needed me.
She wanted to have more attention from me but could not offer her because I was working too much. I got a bit scared of it and told her I was feeling different and also needed to focus on my new job here. I was also a bit upset she never really booked her tickets to visit me here as we both planned it for weeks. She is 19 and I am 29 and really felt in another world than her and realized our age difference was actually a big problem for me. Yet, I still had feelings for her and really wanted to see her.
Things got hard for me in the US and understood I was not so happy there and really started missing her. We started talking again and "got back together" for a few months. She then moved back to the place we met and got busy on her side as well. While things got harder for me, I realized I was the one who needed her because I was in need of attention and affection.
One day, I felt she was getting away from me and did not really answer my messages anymore and understood what I feared the most, she met another guy.
She called me explained me what happened and told me how sorry she was after I saw her posting stuff on social medias with another dude. She deeply apologized for the way she made me find out.
I thought I could easily get over it, that she was just a super young girl that I only met once anyway. But my situation here did not change and started thinking of her every day and night and felt I did not express myself enough when we "broke up" so I called her back to get more answers. She started crying over the phone and told me she really really liked this new guy but that I would always be special for her and even told me she was thinking of me everyday as well. (Not nice for her new bf)
I removed her from Facebook and snapchat and started a non contact rule. I invested time in myself, got promoted at work, started the gym met great people here even if I am definitely going back to the city we met in a few months. One day, I realized I forgot to remove her from Instagram but did not feel the need to do it anymore. I started posted pics of me (mainly to tease her) and she posted back her pic of her with the title : "You will break me (heart)" in my own language. It messed up my mind big time and started thinking of her even more and saw this move as her reaching out to me after the non contact period.
I waited for a couple of weeks and decided to take news from her, as a friend, because we said we would not become strangers. She seemed very happy that I did so and answered right away but (I believe) quickly talked about her bf in her messages. I posted a pic of me again on Insta after she did the same and then disappeared from it for around two weeks until today.
I am going back to city she lives in in 5 months and I have been advised to keep in touch with her from time to time so we could meet as friends when the time will come.
I am not sure what I want this relationship to elvove to and am really confused about my feelings but really miss her at the same time. This hurts to text her and I don't picture her taking news from me (can't explain why).
My question is : what should I do now ? I know this sounds crazy and maybe cannot be considered as a love story anyway but the solitude here really gets to me sometimes and would really really love to meet her one day again. What are my chances ? Should I keep taking news from her if she doesn't even text me ? Am I just very isolated and confused ?
Sorry for the long post.
Merry christmas and happy new Year !
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