I guess, all men who are in a long distance relationship would agree with me that the hardest part about this situation is not being intimate with your girlfriend. I’m getting frustrated with this distance between us because unlike others, me and my gf can’t be sexually active. My friends are all having the time of their lives with their healthy sexual relationships and here I am, lonely as ever. I wish there was some other way for us to solve this problem. I just really want to take this load off my chest since I can’t open this up to my girlfriend.
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Sexually frustrated with our distance
I guess, all men who are in a long distance relationship would agree with me that the hardest part about this situation is not being intimate with your girlfriend. I’m getting frustrated with this distance between us because unlike others, me and my gf can’t be sexually active. My friends are all having the time of their lives with their healthy sexual relationships and here I am, lonely as ever. I wish there was some other way for us to solve this problem. I just really want to take this load off my chest since I can’t open this up to my girlfriend.Tags: None
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Whether wanting a committed relationship or not, long-distance would-be sexual partners can engage in some pretty hot action together that defies the limits of space and allows for a surprising level of intimacy. When pursuing sexy conversation with someone far away, there are several things to keep in mind, including whether visual materials will be exchanged (in which case proper penis care is all-important) and where one's boundaries lie. The following long-distance sex tips will help men navigate this exciting world.
1) Discuss Options
When pursuing something sexual with somebody far away, you have many options, from different kinds of sexy talk to the transmission of photos and videos.
Some partners will enjoy talking about what they'd like to do to one another, either in the moment or in the future, and be content to stop there. They can build a "sex story" together; one can say what he or she wants, and the other can add in what he or she wants. This exchange can last for quite some time, and the individuals involved learn a lot about what the other likes.
Some partners want to see one another and show themselves in a variety of poses and states of undress. If this is so, it's a good idea to ask the other what he or she would like to see.
2) Establish Boundaries
There are some types of dirty talk that some people are not comfortable with. Some people like to be called derogatory names, for example, while others don't like that at all. Some people like to be dominated; some like to be dominant. Establish boundaries around the level of dirty talk to be engaged in.
It's also important to establish physical boundaries, even though the two partners are not actually doing things physically to one another. First, consider that it's possible that there will be an actual encounter in person sometime. But even aside from that, it can be uncomfortable or frightening to read about something being done to one's body that one wouldn't like, not to mention unsexy. It's a good idea to define one's boundaries, then, noting anything he or she doesn't like, such as rough stuff, biting, name-calling, etc.
Also establish boundaries for any visual materials that may be exchanged. Don't just fire off a dick pic or an intense masturbation video without knowing that one's partner wants to see such a thing.
3) Temper Expectations
Sometimes, partners whose interactions have been solely or primarily online or via text may find the opportunity to be together in person. This is very exciting, but it's important not to expect every single thing the two talked about doing at once. The two may have discussed myriad activities in the stories they developed, but one can't expect to have 12 orgasms and the assumption of 15 of their favorite positions all in one night. If that happens - great! But both should enter the encounter with the expressed acknowledgement that there is no pressure to "live up" to the ideal stories they told.
4) Be Smart
When sending sexual photos or videos of oneself over the computer, phone or other device, it's wise to keep one's face out of it. Even if you trust the recipient of your precious visual gift, it's still possible that somebody else could access a device, hack an email address, etc. and be indiscreet with the material. One can only truly protect oneself by keeping his or her face out of it.
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Creativity is the long-distance lover's best friend. Whether it's casual or committed, a man in a long-distance relationship would do well to find exciting ways to give his partner pleasure from afar, helping to maintain connectivity and the sexual health of the relationship. While it's important that a man experience reciprocal attention from his partner.
Tell Her a Story
One basic way to stay connected sexually is to treat one's partner to a sensual story with her pleasure as the central theme. This means a man must first know what gets her going. This knowledge may have been obtained through explicit conversations of kinks, comfort zones and off-limits topics. Or, a man may know from a combination of discussions and actual in-person experience with the partner. Either way, knowing what she likes and what she doesn't are equally important for an effective story.
Telling such a story may be a bit more difficult than a man imagines, since detail is key. This requires a fair bit of attention, focus and creativity on the man's part. But be not discouraged - doing some thinking beforehand about how to describe what one would like to do to a lady lover and honing his story-telling skills with practice will likely result in great stories in short time.
Along with the obvious - describing her favorite positions and pumping rhythms, for example - a man ought to describe sexy foreplay scenarios as well to build suspense. Sensual or not, every good story starts with something to hook the reader. A man wants his lover to be eager to read or hear more. Good foreplay scenarios include teasing around her favorite sensual zones as well as vivid descriptions of the way a man uses his tongue and his hands on his partner.
Control Her Toy
If a man's partner enjoys masturbating with a vibrator, as many women do, this can supplement the story and bring its effects to new levels - particularly if a man is in control of the vibrator's speed. If she likes to crank it up all the way, he can have her put it on a low setting at the beginning of story time, and instruct her to turn it up little by little as the story builds. This has a way of transcending the distance between the lovers by giving the sense that a man is directly pleasuring his partner.
Provide Visual Aids
Just as men often enjoy looking at porn, many women enjoy visual aids while masturbating. Not all women are into dick pics, but if a man's partner likes them, he can amplify her experience by sending her pictures of his manhood that she can revel in while reading or hearing about how he wants to please her with it.
Taking a flattering photo of the penis might take some time, and a man can experiment with this - angle and lighting are important. Take some time to practice before firing off a series of photos to one's lover.
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