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This is going to be really long but it's a story of my love and why I need help/advice.
About 4 months ago, I was on a road trip to Las Vegas to have Christmas with the whole family. During the second night of the trip, I saw my first shooting star. I wished to find love in 2018. Sure enough, come January, I threw on my new Oculus Rift when I got back home, and about 10 days later my whole life changed. I met this amazing girl in a virtual reality game. I've never seen myself falling for someone I met online, but something about virtual reality, you get to have semi physical interaction with them. This girl was everything I've ever wanted. She's short, she's the most beautiful person I've ever met, and we have so much in common. Never in my life have I met someone that loved "Your Name" (the anime movie) AND "Akira" (the 1988 anime movie) as much as me. Honestly, the day I heard her voice, she's been burned in my mind.
Before I continue this story, I would like to say this: This has turned into an amazing long distance relationship (only about a 14 hour drive). We video chat, we watch movies, we have virtual reality dates, and she was even my valentine this year.
So about a week in, she met all my friends, and ended up joining this group and we had a ton of fun together. My friends started noticing that she was always joining my game and asking and talking about me. They all told me she definitely has a crush on me, and, of course, I played it off like "eh" even though she hadn't left my mind since the day I met her. So fast forward a little bit, there was a night in VR where I laid down on the ground and just stared up at the sky. Everyone was kinda making fun of me for it, but then she ended up laying down right next to me (in vr) and doing the same thing, star gazing together, and that's when I really started having that burning feeling in my chest and the dumbest smile on my face that I'm glad she couldn't see! We ended up spending HOURS just laying there, listening to music and having light, meaningless conversation that somehow meant the world to me. Fast forward another little bit, everyone was telling me to ask her to be my valentine. I did so, with tons of confidence, after they sent me screenshots showing her saying "I don't have the courage to ask him". So, we ended up spending all day and all night together, and having the best time ever. One of the best days of my life. A few days later, her computer kinda half broke and wouldn't let her play VR games, so we resorted to Discord calls. We played other games together, and, my god, was that one of the best 2 weeks of my life. Almost every single day ended with my laying on the ground, with the window open at 2 AM with a dim light shining through the window and all the lights in the house off, strumming on my guitar, flirting and asking her on a vr date when she fixes her computer, and just, HOURS upon HOURS of meaningless conversations, and silence that somehow made my chest feel like it was going to explode from the heat it was producing, and the butterflies would not stop! Speaking of guitar, she ended up getting a guitar so she could play with me. I ended up telling her I like her and found out she felt the same way about me. We ended up having a conversation that brought us even closer. She's an EXTREMELY shy person and gets bullied in school and has extreme social anxiety because of it. She said if this was real life we would have never met, and I told her that she's so pretty there's no way we would have never met. I would have gathered the courage to approach her and asked on her on a date the day I saw her. Aside from that, her social anxiety/extreme shyness made her never want to sing infront of anyone, but I got her to sing for me, and that beautiful angelic voice made me fall for her even more. She was so nervous that her voice was shaking, and that made it even more special to me. Fast forward a few more AMAZING weeks, she had her VR back, and she went from always wanting everyone to be 2+ ft away from her, to letting me hug her (we have the motion controllers and full body tracking), pet her hair, and she started leaning against my chest and shoulder and playing with my face. There was one night where she was super tired but said she wont go to bed because she wants to spend time with me. I told her we can still spend time together tomorrow, she said "But that's not now". So, I went to go make some food (around 4 AM), and when I came back, the sound of me putting my headset back on scared her. She said she was falling asleep, so I kept apologizing, and she kept saying it's okay, she told me she started to dream, and that I said something in that dream. She will NOT tell me what I said in that dream, till this day. So, I just teased her saying "You're dreaming about me <3", my god was that a relief because she's consumed my dreams and thoughts since I met her over 3 months ago. Fast forward another little bit, we had our first virtual date where we watched her and my favorite movie, Akira, in a virtual movie theater. One of the best nights of my life, and then we set up another date and had an amazing time then too, even better than the first! We stayed up literally until both of us almost passed out.
Quick note before I continue: She says that things like flirting, me being close to her in VR, hugging, and all that "embarrasses" her, and calling her cute nicknames does as well.
So after the movie during our second date, she got really close to me and just kinda leaned on me and i had my arm around her and we had a sort of "virtual cuddling session" I guess you could call it. I said "does this embarrass you?", and she said "yes, but I would allow this just for you in person". We had the best night that night, and stayed up texting each other until about 5 AM (4 AM her time). The next day (sunday), we played some more VR games, and had a really amazing time once again (when we spend time together, it's amazing, I can't help it). Now, we both kinda have dark humour in us, so we joke around like "I'm going to kill myself" and one of us is like "noooo you can't, i need you". So, this specific day is what keeps messing with my mind. I said, "I guess I'll just kill myself" and she said "no no no no you can't", "
"Why not?"
"Because, I need you"
"whaaaaaaaat, what do you mean you need me"
and then she pointed at herself, looked away and did what I think were attempted heart hands in VR, and then started poking my face really fast. I wasn't sure at the time what she was doing, I thought she was just poking my face, so I was like "What", at which she simply replied, "Nothing".
We spent the whole day together still, and even went to other worlds and met up with another friend who assumed from the beginning that we were dating, and he asked us if we really are, and we said "yeah", which was the first time telling anyone. Another friend joined so we ran and hid up in a building together, and she ended up putting her arms around me and leaning on me, and it was so cute. I just wish we could share moments like that in person! One day we will. For sure. I am in love with her and I want to meet her in person at some point. She got off to go to bed, which ended up turning into a 4 hour long texting session, were we confessed a few things to each other. I told her about how it's strange that 3 months ago we were complete strangers, and now I feel like I've known her all my life. She said "It's probably because we spend close to 10 hours with each other every single day since then"
"It's an amazing 10 hours though" I said
"Best 10 hours of my life", she said. "I normally get annoyed when I spend too much time with someone but that never happens with you"
"Whaaaaaaaat, I've never been annoyed by you. People normally stress me out after the first hour!"
"Whaaaaaat"
"I don't think I ever stayed up talking to someone to the point where I literally pass out"
"whaaat, me neither" she said, "speaking of passing out, I'm actually about to"
"Go to sleep then cutie"
"whaaaat, you're cute, staap it"
and this ended up going on for a while, and we did kissy emojis and everything for the first time.
The next day, she texted me all day during her school day and we had an amazing conversation, and then ended up playing together when she got back home. She seemed really tired and I assumed it's because she stayed up till 3 am texting me again on a school night lol. She said she's not tired, maybe I should have asked her if something was wrong... She ended up just leaning on my chest in vr and not doing anything, until at one point I asked if she wanted to play Arizona Sunshine. She said heck yeah, so we tried to play that, but it ended up not working, so we ended up talking on the phone for a few hours. I kept teasing her about this because she hates phone calls and never answers the phone, and I was like "but you've been talking to me on the phone for 2 hours" and was like "Stoooooooooop" lol. This phone call ended up turning into a video chat where she was playing with her kitty and showing me her other dogs. I had the greatest time, and she ended up getting kicked off the phone because she has school the next morning, so we texted instead. This is another part where I think something may have gone wrong. I said "dammit discord stopped working on my phone again can u text me instead"
she texted me and i was like "that lasted longer than i expected it to tho" (discord normally wont even open on my phone).
"Oh nosies" she said
"Aaaa, nosies, I love" i said
"Aaaaaa staaap"
"your funny and amazing and super adorable <3 I can't staap"
"But, u gotta"
"why tho"
"bc embaras"
"o no, u just blushing cuz u love"
"aaaaaaa, cease"
After this, she went to bed, and then we ended up not talking much anymore. For a few reasons, one, it was the last week of the quarter, and she had a LOT of work to catch up on, so she was really busy. I felt like I did something wrong though because I didn't know this, so I apologized if I did anything wrong, and she said no its ok. A few days later she still seemed really distant and I Was like "if you need to talk about anything im here for you" (still didn't know about the school thing". She said shes fine, and then on friday, we had another date which she rescheduled last minute because of work she had to turn in that night because it was the last day. So, we had our date on saturday, but she seemed really distant. she didn't really talk much to me and it was all kinda awkward. I tried to flirt but she just got silent, and when I played with her vr hair, she kinda backed away like she wanted me to stay 2+ feet away like the others. I ended up asking her if anythings wrong and she said shes just super tired, so she went to bed. The next day, I tried texting her and she kinda only replied with single word replies, and seemed really weird. She still replied really quickly though. We ended up hanging out again but she still seemed really weird. I tried to just play around and cheer her up a bit without saying anything but that didnt work, so I asked her whats going on, because shes acting really distant, and she said nothing, and i was like "your happiness is my 100% top priority". Next day, she still seemed weird, but we hung out and watched charlie and the chocolate factory. At the end of the movie, she said, "we're watching willy wonka tomorrow though cuz its better". So we watched willy wonka the next day (she was still acting weird), and then we set up another VR date, and then started to watch another movie which didnt work, so we watched it the next day instead. I ended up getting her to laugh a whole lot at this point, so that made me happy, but she still was acting very strange. Then, today, we started to hang out, but then she said "since we're not doing anything im just going to get off" and she seemed REALLY sad/tired/i dont know. She said she's just bored, but the tone of her voice told me something is really wrong, but she still wont talk to me about it. We haven't even really texted anymore in the last week and a half and it's killing me to know what's wrong. I need some advice, do you guys maybe think she was trying to say "I love you" at one point??? Or that she wanted me to say it in those perfect moments I had to say it?? Or do you think she took the "I love" as a "I love you" instead of "I love it" (referring to the word nosies). Do you think maybe I stressed her out a little bit more during her stressful week last week that I had no idea about??? I'm so confused as to what I did wrong, but we went from 10+ hours a day for 3 full months and nightly texting conversations and heart emojis and flirting and "Goodmorning" and "Goodnight" texts every single morning and night, to single word responses in literally a night. Right after we started confessing our true feelings too. I tried giving her space too. I'm just not sure what happened! She wont talk to me about it, and I tried talking to other people about it too but no one knows. We do have another VR date tomorrow, so hopefully that goes well.
This girl really has changed my life. All my life, I heard people say "I think about her 24/7" and I was like, there's no way that's true. WOW was I wrong. This girl doesn't just cross my mind, she literally has NOT left it since the day I met her. I have never in my life bought anyone anything, and we even had that conversation that buying people stuff is dumb, but I've bought this girl gifts and I want to shower her in more!
About 4 months ago, I was on a road trip to Las Vegas to have Christmas with the whole family. During the second night of the trip, I saw my first shooting star. I wished to find love in 2018. Sure enough, come January, I threw on my new Oculus Rift when I got back home, and about 10 days later my whole life changed. I met this amazing girl in a virtual reality game. I've never seen myself falling for someone I met online, but something about virtual reality, you get to have semi physical interaction with them. This girl was everything I've ever wanted. She's short, she's the most beautiful person I've ever met, and we have so much in common. Never in my life have I met someone that loved "Your Name" (the anime movie) AND "Akira" (the 1988 anime movie) as much as me. Honestly, the day I heard her voice, she's been burned in my mind.
Before I continue this story, I would like to say this: This has turned into an amazing long distance relationship (only about a 14 hour drive). We video chat, we watch movies, we have virtual reality dates, and she was even my valentine this year.
So about a week in, she met all my friends, and ended up joining this group and we had a ton of fun together. My friends started noticing that she was always joining my game and asking and talking about me. They all told me she definitely has a crush on me, and, of course, I played it off like "eh" even though she hadn't left my mind since the day I met her. So fast forward a little bit, there was a night in VR where I laid down on the ground and just stared up at the sky. Everyone was kinda making fun of me for it, but then she ended up laying down right next to me (in vr) and doing the same thing, star gazing together, and that's when I really started having that burning feeling in my chest and the dumbest smile on my face that I'm glad she couldn't see! We ended up spending HOURS just laying there, listening to music and having light, meaningless conversation that somehow meant the world to me. Fast forward another little bit, everyone was telling me to ask her to be my valentine. I did so, with tons of confidence, after they sent me screenshots showing her saying "I don't have the courage to ask him". So, we ended up spending all day and all night together, and having the best time ever. One of the best days of my life. A few days later, her computer kinda half broke and wouldn't let her play VR games, so we resorted to Discord calls. We played other games together, and, my god, was that one of the best 2 weeks of my life. Almost every single day ended with my laying on the ground, with the window open at 2 AM with a dim light shining through the window and all the lights in the house off, strumming on my guitar, flirting and asking her on a vr date when she fixes her computer, and just, HOURS upon HOURS of meaningless conversations, and silence that somehow made my chest feel like it was going to explode from the heat it was producing, and the butterflies would not stop! Speaking of guitar, she ended up getting a guitar so she could play with me. I ended up telling her I like her and found out she felt the same way about me. We ended up having a conversation that brought us even closer. She's an EXTREMELY shy person and gets bullied in school and has extreme social anxiety because of it. She said if this was real life we would have never met, and I told her that she's so pretty there's no way we would have never met. I would have gathered the courage to approach her and asked on her on a date the day I saw her. Aside from that, her social anxiety/extreme shyness made her never want to sing infront of anyone, but I got her to sing for me, and that beautiful angelic voice made me fall for her even more. She was so nervous that her voice was shaking, and that made it even more special to me. Fast forward a few more AMAZING weeks, she had her VR back, and she went from always wanting everyone to be 2+ ft away from her, to letting me hug her (we have the motion controllers and full body tracking), pet her hair, and she started leaning against my chest and shoulder and playing with my face. There was one night where she was super tired but said she wont go to bed because she wants to spend time with me. I told her we can still spend time together tomorrow, she said "But that's not now". So, I went to go make some food (around 4 AM), and when I came back, the sound of me putting my headset back on scared her. She said she was falling asleep, so I kept apologizing, and she kept saying it's okay, she told me she started to dream, and that I said something in that dream. She will NOT tell me what I said in that dream, till this day. So, I just teased her saying "You're dreaming about me <3", my god was that a relief because she's consumed my dreams and thoughts since I met her over 3 months ago. Fast forward another little bit, we had our first virtual date where we watched her and my favorite movie, Akira, in a virtual movie theater. One of the best nights of my life, and then we set up another date and had an amazing time then too, even better than the first! We stayed up literally until both of us almost passed out.
Quick note before I continue: She says that things like flirting, me being close to her in VR, hugging, and all that "embarrasses" her, and calling her cute nicknames does as well.
So after the movie during our second date, she got really close to me and just kinda leaned on me and i had my arm around her and we had a sort of "virtual cuddling session" I guess you could call it. I said "does this embarrass you?", and she said "yes, but I would allow this just for you in person". We had the best night that night, and stayed up texting each other until about 5 AM (4 AM her time). The next day (sunday), we played some more VR games, and had a really amazing time once again (when we spend time together, it's amazing, I can't help it). Now, we both kinda have dark humour in us, so we joke around like "I'm going to kill myself" and one of us is like "noooo you can't, i need you". So, this specific day is what keeps messing with my mind. I said, "I guess I'll just kill myself" and she said "no no no no you can't", "
"Why not?"
"Because, I need you"
"whaaaaaaaat, what do you mean you need me"
and then she pointed at herself, looked away and did what I think were attempted heart hands in VR, and then started poking my face really fast. I wasn't sure at the time what she was doing, I thought she was just poking my face, so I was like "What", at which she simply replied, "Nothing".
We spent the whole day together still, and even went to other worlds and met up with another friend who assumed from the beginning that we were dating, and he asked us if we really are, and we said "yeah", which was the first time telling anyone. Another friend joined so we ran and hid up in a building together, and she ended up putting her arms around me and leaning on me, and it was so cute. I just wish we could share moments like that in person! One day we will. For sure. I am in love with her and I want to meet her in person at some point. She got off to go to bed, which ended up turning into a 4 hour long texting session, were we confessed a few things to each other. I told her about how it's strange that 3 months ago we were complete strangers, and now I feel like I've known her all my life. She said "It's probably because we spend close to 10 hours with each other every single day since then"
"It's an amazing 10 hours though" I said
"Best 10 hours of my life", she said. "I normally get annoyed when I spend too much time with someone but that never happens with you"
"Whaaaaaaaat, I've never been annoyed by you. People normally stress me out after the first hour!"
"Whaaaaaat"
"I don't think I ever stayed up talking to someone to the point where I literally pass out"
"whaaat, me neither" she said, "speaking of passing out, I'm actually about to"
"Go to sleep then cutie"
"whaaaat, you're cute, staap it"
and this ended up going on for a while, and we did kissy emojis and everything for the first time.
The next day, she texted me all day during her school day and we had an amazing conversation, and then ended up playing together when she got back home. She seemed really tired and I assumed it's because she stayed up till 3 am texting me again on a school night lol. She said she's not tired, maybe I should have asked her if something was wrong... She ended up just leaning on my chest in vr and not doing anything, until at one point I asked if she wanted to play Arizona Sunshine. She said heck yeah, so we tried to play that, but it ended up not working, so we ended up talking on the phone for a few hours. I kept teasing her about this because she hates phone calls and never answers the phone, and I was like "but you've been talking to me on the phone for 2 hours" and was like "Stoooooooooop" lol. This phone call ended up turning into a video chat where she was playing with her kitty and showing me her other dogs. I had the greatest time, and she ended up getting kicked off the phone because she has school the next morning, so we texted instead. This is another part where I think something may have gone wrong. I said "dammit discord stopped working on my phone again can u text me instead"
she texted me and i was like "that lasted longer than i expected it to tho" (discord normally wont even open on my phone).
"Oh nosies" she said
"Aaaa, nosies, I love" i said
"Aaaaaa staaap"
"your funny and amazing and super adorable <3 I can't staap"
"But, u gotta"
"why tho"
"bc embaras"
"o no, u just blushing cuz u love"
"aaaaaaa, cease"
After this, she went to bed, and then we ended up not talking much anymore. For a few reasons, one, it was the last week of the quarter, and she had a LOT of work to catch up on, so she was really busy. I felt like I did something wrong though because I didn't know this, so I apologized if I did anything wrong, and she said no its ok. A few days later she still seemed really distant and I Was like "if you need to talk about anything im here for you" (still didn't know about the school thing". She said shes fine, and then on friday, we had another date which she rescheduled last minute because of work she had to turn in that night because it was the last day. So, we had our date on saturday, but she seemed really distant. she didn't really talk much to me and it was all kinda awkward. I tried to flirt but she just got silent, and when I played with her vr hair, she kinda backed away like she wanted me to stay 2+ feet away like the others. I ended up asking her if anythings wrong and she said shes just super tired, so she went to bed. The next day, I tried texting her and she kinda only replied with single word replies, and seemed really weird. She still replied really quickly though. We ended up hanging out again but she still seemed really weird. I tried to just play around and cheer her up a bit without saying anything but that didnt work, so I asked her whats going on, because shes acting really distant, and she said nothing, and i was like "your happiness is my 100% top priority". Next day, she still seemed weird, but we hung out and watched charlie and the chocolate factory. At the end of the movie, she said, "we're watching willy wonka tomorrow though cuz its better". So we watched willy wonka the next day (she was still acting weird), and then we set up another VR date, and then started to watch another movie which didnt work, so we watched it the next day instead. I ended up getting her to laugh a whole lot at this point, so that made me happy, but she still was acting very strange. Then, today, we started to hang out, but then she said "since we're not doing anything im just going to get off" and she seemed REALLY sad/tired/i dont know. She said she's just bored, but the tone of her voice told me something is really wrong, but she still wont talk to me about it. We haven't even really texted anymore in the last week and a half and it's killing me to know what's wrong. I need some advice, do you guys maybe think she was trying to say "I love you" at one point??? Or that she wanted me to say it in those perfect moments I had to say it?? Or do you think she took the "I love" as a "I love you" instead of "I love it" (referring to the word nosies). Do you think maybe I stressed her out a little bit more during her stressful week last week that I had no idea about??? I'm so confused as to what I did wrong, but we went from 10+ hours a day for 3 full months and nightly texting conversations and heart emojis and flirting and "Goodmorning" and "Goodnight" texts every single morning and night, to single word responses in literally a night. Right after we started confessing our true feelings too. I tried giving her space too. I'm just not sure what happened! She wont talk to me about it, and I tried talking to other people about it too but no one knows. We do have another VR date tomorrow, so hopefully that goes well.
This girl really has changed my life. All my life, I heard people say "I think about her 24/7" and I was like, there's no way that's true. WOW was I wrong. This girl doesn't just cross my mind, she literally has NOT left it since the day I met her. I have never in my life bought anyone anything, and we even had that conversation that buying people stuff is dumb, but I've bought this girl gifts and I want to shower her in more!
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