LDR Problems . . . I feel like she is fading

[Blackfairy]

Hi, I just signed up today so I can share this.

Love problems, so I am in a LDR. 3 years now. We have been together since college which is 6 years now. Before she always got mad at me because I do not chat her a lot and I do not respond to her chat (literally like each line she says I must have a reaction or something). I do not forget to chat her but she is just mad because I chat a little compared to hers.

Btw we are night and day time zone apart so whenever she woke up she wants lots of chat from me when she was sleeping. That was our early LDR, now she is kind of use that I am gone, it’s the opposite.

For 3 days now she hasn’t chat me while I am sleeping, she will just chat me when I woke up and I send an emoji of good morning, then she will reply good morning. I got sulky since every time I woke up I always look at her messages first thing in the morning and it’s a downer that for 7 or 8 hours, no single chat. I already woke up and a message came in with a kiss emoji and wake up emoji. Too late. I just replied “just sleep” and “night “( cause its nighttime there) on which I usually say cheesy words and stuff when I bid her good night.

I was hoping she will notice that I am sulking since my message is different. But no she just replied the usual, like she didn’t notice there is wrong with my message. Which looks like so whatever I say to her she does not care or she just read it and just fly away from her. And lately she does not want to tell me what she does, the other day, she just replied to me that hey I am here with my officemates on a resort. And here I thought she was home. She usually say beforehand where she will go or there is a special stuff happening.

So right now I’m feeling so sulky that I feel like she is fading away. I can just be overthinking stuff but from what she is doing this past days, I just can’t stop overthinking. Especially there was this incident where one of her officemate forcefully kissed her before and she doesn’t tell me. I just read on her fb messenger that the guy is chatting her saying sorry for kissing her and stuff. Then just after that she confessed to me about it and found out there is another guy before that also kiss her when she was drinking with them though that guy is not working there anymore. This is why I do not like her drinking with her officemate anymore and probably she is somehow pissed whenever I told her no drinking. And then she still insist wants to drink saying she is safe, someone from her office will keep an eye on her etc.

Whenever I ask love from here when we are video chatting, like you know cheesy stuff, she just always say to me now to “if you want that then come back” so really I do not get much love from her now on our video chat. She still say I love you and stuff like that but it’s kind of not enough for me now.

I just want to let out my frustrations.

[Caleb]

The truth is that there are many long distance relationship tips for you to try out there, especially if you think your long distance relationship is currently on the rocks. Sometimes, you forget to address the little problems and they end up turning into huge fights before you can actually do anything about them. Your relationship could then suffer, even though it would have been easy to just try and make it work out right away. So, if you want to strengthen your long distance relationship this time around, read on.

1. Communicate on a regular basis. Distance can definitely be a problem if you cannot overcome it. Because of this, it would be vital for you to communicate with your partner on a regular basis in order to keep your relationship strong. Call each other, send each other text messages, email each other, or even send each other old school snail mail letters to stay in touch. Regardless of how you choose to do it, taking full advantage of today's communication methods can help your relationship avoid the little problems that could turn into major issues as time goes by.

2. Visit each other as often as possible. Regardless of how far away you might live from each other, you have to plan out regular visits in advance. If possible and if your schedules allow it, try to see each other every month. Ideally, you should have week-long visits each time, but even just a weekend would be enough if you can devote all of your time to one another. Plan something romantic. Go somewhere new. Make sure the trip is memorable, in general. If you visit each other on a regular basis, you will never have to worry about your relationship falling apart anytime soon - believe it.

3. Send each other presents. Believe it or not, guys like getting presents, too. So, if your guy likes sports magazines or comic books, why not send him some back issues or new editions to read? This will definitely make him happy. Conversely, if the way to his heart is usually through his stomach, why not bake him something special and send it to him? By sending each other gifts, you can easily keep your relationship alive and remind each other how much you care at the same time.

4. Take surprise visits into consideration. If you really want to wow your partner with a surprise, how about showing up at his doorstep unannounced? This will definitely knock his socks off. Plus, you will be able to spend more time together this way. If you live at opposite ends of the world, you might want to limit these surprise visits to every few months, but if you live quite near to one another, then you should try to go down every week. Not only will the weekdays make you anticipate your weekend visits even more, but it will keep your relationship strong, too. This is definitely one of the best long distance relationship ideas to try out.

[Alexa]

These days, it's ridiculously easy to fall in love with someone on the other side of the world. The Internet allows people with common interests to make contact and this often leads to friendships developing and even relationships blossoming.

But a long distance relationship -- particularly an international one -- is a lot harder than maintaining a relationship where you see your partner regularly. I'll give you ten tips on making your long distance relationship much more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Treat It Like A Normal Relationship

People form emotional attachments in a long distance relationship just like they do in a face-to-face one. Pretending that your long distance relationship is somehow different is going to cause both you and your partner a lot of pain. You shouldn't go around flirting -- or cheating -- with other people and you should consider yourself off the market, just as you would if you were dating someone local. It's a good way to prove to your partner that you're serious about the relationship and that you're not just playing games with their emotions. After all, they're probably taking it seriously and hoping it will go somewhere in the long term.

Work On Developing Trust

Trust is even more vital to a long distance relationship than it is to a face-to-face one. If you're going to make it long term, you need to be able to relax about what your partner is thinking and believe they're as committed to the relationship as you are. If you don't and you start giving in to your fears, then you'll tie yourself in knots in no time. If they have an online presence, make sure that you give them plenty of space and don't track down every single word they say online. Doing so is a surefire way to show that you don't trust your partner and it's going to cause you all sorts of problems in the longer term.

Stay In Touch

Communication with your partner is easier today than it was even five years ago. Apart from emails, there's chat rooms, instant messaging and webcams. Another great option are Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) programs, like Skype or GoogleTalk. They're just like a telephone call, with the bonus that they're completely free between registered users, no matter where you are in the world. There's no time limits on calls either, so it's possible to spend literally hours chatting with your partner. If you want to do something even more interactive, you can both play massively multi-player online games together, such as World of Warcraft or Second Life.

Develop Common Interests

Common interests are a great way to keep your conversations going. Given the distance, it's vital build a solid friendship as a foundation for your relationship. If you both have some hobbies in common, it gives you plenty of things to discuss. You can even share tips and suggestions on how to make things better. It also gives you both something good to talk about other than how frustrating it is that you're both apart and can't be with each other in person.

Surprise Each Other

Surprising your partner with a gift or a thoughtful gesture is a great way of showing that you care. It doesn't have to be anything fancy; it might just be as simple as a photo of you with some thoughts about how you feel about them. You might go to the trouble of buying or even hand making something for them and sending it to them through the post. Getting a parcel in the mail is always exciting, and it's especially touching when it contains a thoughtful gift. If you can't make something, then ordering something online from places like Amazon.com or a florist close to where your partner lives can work just as well.

Get Raunchy Occasionally

Imagination is one of the biggest turn-ons for a lot of people, so why not use it to your advantage and dream up little fantasies to share with your partner while your online? While it can be a bit embarrassing to start with, all you need to do is imagine what you'd like to be doing with your partner and just describe that to them. You don't even need to be overly graphic with you're descriptions; leaving them some blanks to fill in with their own imaginations can often be an even bigger turn on for them. If you're embarrassed, it might be easier to start with a text-only format like email or instant messaging, but once you get more adventurous, you can try it while talking online or while using webcams.

Don't Make It All About Sex

While online sex can be a lot of fun, you need to be careful that your relationship doesn't revolve around it. If it's all you're after, then there's a good chance that things are going to peter out pretty quickly. Netsex isn't as good as the real thing and can be incredibly frustrating if you don't have a physical outlet. So, remember it's better to have a sense of moderation and try to balance your time with your partner talking about other things. There's no need to avoid it completely, but like a normal face-to-face relationship, too much of an emphasis on sex can cause the relationship to quickly fall apart.

Be Realistic

Long distance relationships can be very tough if you have unrealistic expectations about where things are going. Talk about these things and realize that getting together in person is going to require a lot of sacrifice for one or both of you. Weigh up if that's a price you're both willing to pay. If you're serious about your relationship, then you'll find being open and honest will actually make the load easier to bear for both of you.

Make Plans To Get Together

Definitely plan to get together in person as often as you can, even if you can't move to be with one another. Plans like these give you both something to look forward to and can help ward off the frustration that long distance relationships often cause. If you're in the same country, it's often easier to make these plans than it is if you and your partner live on opposite sides of the planet. The ultimate aim of any long distance relationship should be moving together somewhere, so try to factor that into any plans that you're making. It's a good idea to spend a few weeks on a couple of separate occasions to make sure you're compatible before taking the plunge and moving closer together permanently.

Don't Give Up Your Own Life

Just because you're in an online relationship with someone doesn't mean that you need to spend every waking moment glued to your computer. You still have a life of your own to live and you need to spend time away from the net. If nothing else, it will give you things to talk about when you are spending time with your partner. Sweating off on when they're going to come online or whether or not they've send you an email or an instant message will drive you insane. If you keep things in perspective, it's much easier to have a fulfilling life and still be able to spend quality time with your partner, without becoming obsessive and stalkerish about it.