Long distance and confused feelings

[Bianca]

Hi I would just like to get some opinions or similar experiences. I am currently with my boyfriend since 10 month we lived together in the same apartment since we meet and were always very close everything seems to be perfect with him and I could have seen myself sharing my future live with him. Now since 4 month he is away for work and we don't see each other much only like every 5 weeks for a few days. Since he left for work my feelings changed I feel distant to him and not like before anymore he felt it too and is worries about it every day.. Now I am not sure if we should stay together will this feelings come back? Is it because we don't see each other much? Have you got any similar situations?

[Sofia]

Now I am not sure if we should stay together will this feelings come back? Is it because we don't see each other much? Have you got any similar situations?

There are many challenges to a long distance relationship. When you and your sweetheart are separated by distance it is hard to stay loyal and committed to your relationship. But if you are determined to making your long distance relationship work, these three tips will give you the necessary knowledge you need to make your relationship last.

Be sure to check out the resource I will give you at the end of this article, but first just to get you started on the right path I want to share with you the three components that are absolutely necessary for your relationship in order to make it work.

Communication

Communication is an integral component in any relationship, not just a long distance one. However, it becomes a key component to maintaining a relationship when you are apart. This is because out of sight out of mind, as the saying goes.

When communication stops, a relationship will die. There isn't a relationship when communication is cut off.

Loyalty

With the number of available singles in your town it may be tempting to agree to go on a date with somebody else when you are not together with your partner. You may feel that you are just agreeing to go out as friends, and to kill time or to keep entertained.

However, before you agree to accept a date invitation think about how you would feel if your long distance partner did the same?

Even if your date is an innocent meeting, this can trigger jealousy and mistrust. Staying emotionally loyal to your partner is the key to maintaining a successful long distance relationship. Don't take a date invitation if you think that your partner would not appreciate if they found out about it.

Commitment

It takes a lot of patience to get through the time when you and your partner are separated by distance. One of you may be away for work or school, and you both may have a clear idea of when you can be together again. In certain circumstances you may however not even have an idea of when you will be together again. If one of you took a job in a far away city or a different state, or is traveling overseas for work, you may have a very vague idea of when you will be together again.

Commitment of both partners is necessary to get you both through the difficult time of separation.

[Clinton]

Having rules to comply can help you be loyal to each other easily. When and how do you check in, how often do you visit and who visits whom, how will you spend the holidays? These are just a few considerations to take into account. Some people even choose to date casually when apart, but this especially needs to be agreed upon by both partners. In any case, being honest and willing to make adjustments as time goes by is essential. Check in periodically to make sure you are both satisfied with the arrangement. Make the rules as a team and you'll have the foundations for success.

They find creative ways to stay in touch. Phones, letters, e-mails, webcams-in the modern world there are a thousand ways to stay in touch. Try mixing and matching lots of communication methods to add variety to your contact. Writing letters by hand, for example, is very romantic and can often mean more than a simple e-mail. Similarly, a simple text message at lunchtime can be short and sweet, and will certainly brighten your partner's day.

They visit. Visiting once a month or as often as possible is absolutely essential. Make these visits count by trying new things together, and scheduling plenty of alone time for the two of you. Work in visits to meet family and friends as things get more serious and take the opportunity to get to know your partner's hometown. After all, you may eventually want to move there. Just make sure you take turns visiting and share the cost of travels.

[Pinky Kumar]

There is no doubt about the fact that long distance relationships are hard. But when you find the right person, it definitely is worth it.

Yes, I mean it!

Long distance relationship is exciting. It is surprising. But it can even be terrifying.


Distance makes simple things seem so much sweeter. Seeing your beloved after a long time, being able to hold their hand, eating at the same table, feeling his touch - a long distance relationship teaches you the importance of the little things in a very sweet way.

So, what are some things a couple can do to make a long distance relationship work and last? Try these tips...

1. Believe in your Long Distance Relationship:
Like most things in life, you need to really, truly believe in your relationship for it to last. Every relationship is a big commitment, a long distance one - even more so. You cannot be half-hearted about your long distance relationship. It will get you nowhere.

2. Communication is the key for a distant relationship:
You don’t always have to have long, deep conversations. You can simply talk about your day. Don’t allow large gaps in communication that you have to start from scratch every single time. This shows that you’re taking the time and effort to sustain your relationship. Mix up how you communicate - call, text, write an email, video chat or even write a letter every once in a while.

3. Plan your skype dates:
Having a date when you’re both oceans apart might seem like a silly idea but do it anyway. Silly is sometimes exciting!
It helps to set a fixed time every week for this rather than it being a one-off. This is a time you’re consciously setting aside to focus on your relationship and it means you’re treating it as a priority. Besides, it also gives you something to look forward to all week!

4. Suprise them with your romantic creative:
If you usually communicate on text, send them a handwritten letter. Make a care package for them. Get some flowers or chocolates delivered to them at work. Do something special for birthdays and anniversaries.
Sending little surprises is simple and natural when you are together but becomes a tad more complicated when the distance is involved. But use your creativity and charm them. These little surprises help keep the spark alive in between visits.

5. Do things together, when you are apart:
Modern technology is a blessing when it comes to making you feel close to someone even when they are miles apart. For times that you are not together, find activities that you can do with each other.
You can binge watch a TV series together. Or prepare a meal and eat together while video chatting. It’ll not only help you fill silences but also have something new to talk about.

Hope these tips will help you to stay together in your long distance relationship.

[SayItIsntSo]

Hi. My husband and I were long distance for three years. Long distance is not the easiest thing to go through, but if both partners are willing to make the relationship work than your feelings should not fade. Skype each other and talk whenever you can. Some say distance makes the heart grow fonder, for some it makes true feelings come to light. Think about your feelings.. if one is truly committed it shouldn't be so finicking when distance comes along. I do hope you guys stuck it out!

[Alex]

Hi Bianca. I'm in a similar situation, although mine is much less serious, compared to yours, but trust me, my feelings are no lighter. I "rekindled" with my ex from US (and I'm in Europe....) on FB. Everything went right, except we were constantly missing each other in a real way, BEING PHYSICALLY together. She said she will visit me, and that was really gonna happen, but now that is under BIG question, I'm questioning her feeling for me very much. Actually, I think she doesn't care anymore... I'm still feeling every bit for her, but she grew cold on me, very suddenly, in least in my opinion. (please read my situation from yesterday, you will find it in Forums/Long Distance Relationship) I don't have much advice, except (in my opinion) it's all about UNCONDITIONAL love. If you really love him, and he does too, there should be no problems. Did the distant feeling/not that much interested feeling struck you suddenly, or it was coming on slowly during these 4 months? All in all, you both should be sure do you really love each other and see each other in the future. I don't know what else to say, I'm baffled here, in my LDR situation... We were online EVERY single day, during work, while we were eating, sharing pictures when we get out somewhere, sharing what we ate for god sakes, every day, I mean literally we shared every 30 minutes of our lives, EVERY, EVERY day... I tend to talk too much, I'm sorry. If you are interested, check my status from yesterday...

[markcalloway]

No relationship is all smiles and sunshine; it is ought to have its own ups and downs. All of us really relish the thought of coming home every day to this one person we cherish the most but fail to handle the reality of it once you actually have the same routine. The most common problem that couples face is “communication gap”. Once you get into this routine where you know what the other is doing at a particular time, the relationship starts losing out its charm. It gets too predictable, and very monotonous, the talks get limited to the very basic and same questions every day, and the routine you so wished for, starts to feel a little stale.