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Hi I'm a single mom who just started dating again after many years. I'm dating a man from a different culture but a culture that I'm very interested in. Aside from him living in the Bronx and I live in NJ we feel the distance is taking a toll on us because there is also a language barrier. I feel I can understand him well even over a call but he had made it clear that texting is his preference.
After not seeing each other for 2 weeks we tried to make plans for Thursday or Friday (his only days off currently) but he/we had an issue with either days. First he said, "my car is in the shop, then I have a work meeting that came up so using public transit will be difficult, and then I already promised a friend I'll help him with something". So while I was upset we wouldn't see each other I told him if it couldn't be helped than its OK. Now he has never before cancelled a date we have been dating since the end of May this year. We are both older 36 and 42 and we are both educated with good jobs.
He has also never been dishonest with me as far as I am aware so I had no reason to think otherwise. But when I asked for a video called because I missed him he made a comment "video call to prove I'm home" when he was ready for the call. While we didn't have that call and not thinking much of it other than a typo, the following day I asked if we can video a call. I only asked because again I missed him and knew we wouldn't see each other until next week. But them he says he's with the friend helping him. So I ask if a quick call was not possible. But when he calls the first thing he says "hi, see I'm not with girls or anything I'm with my friend" and turns his phone so the friend can be seen. Instead of taking the call in a private place and having 2-3 min alone time talking and sharing how much I missed him it turned into "I need to call my gf because she's not trusting me I'm not out with girls" which was not at all even in my mind. He made me out to be a controlling jeleaous gf. Which I'm not and have given him NO reason to think so.
Am I right to be upset? I want to call him out on doing that and not being understanding that he canceled for both Thursday and Friday and not being sensitive about making me out to be a gf that I'm not. But I'm not sure of the best way to address it. Overall he's a very caring and simple guy and has always taken to heart what I've said and commented that I don't like.
Thank you.
After not seeing each other for 2 weeks we tried to make plans for Thursday or Friday (his only days off currently) but he/we had an issue with either days. First he said, "my car is in the shop, then I have a work meeting that came up so using public transit will be difficult, and then I already promised a friend I'll help him with something". So while I was upset we wouldn't see each other I told him if it couldn't be helped than its OK. Now he has never before cancelled a date we have been dating since the end of May this year. We are both older 36 and 42 and we are both educated with good jobs.
He has also never been dishonest with me as far as I am aware so I had no reason to think otherwise. But when I asked for a video called because I missed him he made a comment "video call to prove I'm home" when he was ready for the call. While we didn't have that call and not thinking much of it other than a typo, the following day I asked if we can video a call. I only asked because again I missed him and knew we wouldn't see each other until next week. But them he says he's with the friend helping him. So I ask if a quick call was not possible. But when he calls the first thing he says "hi, see I'm not with girls or anything I'm with my friend" and turns his phone so the friend can be seen. Instead of taking the call in a private place and having 2-3 min alone time talking and sharing how much I missed him it turned into "I need to call my gf because she's not trusting me I'm not out with girls" which was not at all even in my mind. He made me out to be a controlling jeleaous gf. Which I'm not and have given him NO reason to think so.
Am I right to be upset? I want to call him out on doing that and not being understanding that he canceled for both Thursday and Friday and not being sensitive about making me out to be a gf that I'm not. But I'm not sure of the best way to address it. Overall he's a very caring and simple guy and has always taken to heart what I've said and commented that I don't like.
Thank you.
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