Want to be with a girl I love but there are certain circumstances

[Zaskoruzo]

hey, guys. I prefer to be anonymous, you can just call me Zaskoruzo. I'm 29 now. My situation is kind of way too complicated. A few years ago I went to teach English in some Asian country with (sub)tropical climate. Met a very nice young lady there whom I immediately fell in love with. I really enjoyed living and working in that country, especially, including the fact that I started to develop a romantic relationship with that girl. However, after some time I started to experience lots of flu-like symptoms there like weakness, fever, sore throat and even nervousness and panic attacks. I had to get back to my country then, I still kept in touch with my gf by skype. She was waiting for me for over a year. So, after like 1 year I got to her country again and I actually got the same symptoms like headaches, dizziness and many, many more. Even my blood pressure increased as it became hotter. I started to worry about my health. The whole thing is there are some foreigners from some northern countries that have difficulty getting used to the tropical climate with its severe heat and high humidity level. But in my case it just looks like I really can't get used to that kind of climate at all. Which means I don't think it's a good idea for me to stay there. She, in her own turn, wouldn't like to go somewhere else, since it's her home country, a place where she spent most of her life and where her parents, brother and sister live. So I'm totally confused. I honestly don't know what to do. I love her so much and I really want to be with her. She feels the same with me. But living in her country will only make both of us suffer - I will probably struggle with various symptoms and she will get stressed about it and worry about me. I even sometimes considered break-up because I just don't want to make any of us suffer. On the other hand, she's been waiting for me for such a long time and I don't want to break the heart of the girl I love. What should I do? It seems like there is no solution for this situation.

[Bella]

If she can't compromise to come to your country, then the relationship isn't going to work. I will suggest you let her know the reason the relationship isn't going to work and find someone else.

[Brett]

If she loves you, she won't want you to continue being sick and hence should be willing to follow you to your country. However, if she isn't willing to leave her country, then you can't have a relationship with her.

Trying to stay in her country just to be with her, means you won't live long. So, get out of that country if you value your life, and find another girl that will love you.

[Zaskoruzo]

Okay, guys, thank you so much for your comments. To make it clear, I'll just add a few more details to my story. I didn't actually invite her to go to my country since I'm not going to live here myself. I'm here now because I'm getting some teaching certificate and my plan is to actually live and work in some Asian country as an English teacher. So, she's from Southeastern Asia (as you might have probly guessed). I am considering going somewhere like China or Japan but she says she doesn't wanna go to China. She might, though, still consider moving to Japan but again that would be kinda complicated. Firstly, she's got her job in her country, secondly, her family lives there, as I already said, and she doesn't wanna be far away from them. She's not sure she can get a stable well-paid position in Japan. In other words, the idea of moving to Japan sounds nice to her in terms of theory but in reality she's really not sure about that.. And I can understand her.. She suggested I should go back to her country and live there for at least 1 more year there and then, after making a clear plan, we might try to settle down in another place. I really don't know because even like 1 month of staying in her country makes me feel very sick, I can't cope with the climate - that's a fact - whether I like it or not.
Also I don't wanna break her heart because we love each other and we want to be together. How can I possibly explain her that I won't be able to get back to her??

[Zaskoruzo]

Hey, can anyone give more advice or suggestions?
Thanks in advance.

[aru.26]

Try to convince her to come with you. Once in a while you both can go visit her country. Do not break up because of this reason if you both really love each other and if can make it work apart from this country issues. you both need to sacrifice a little more or give up your own personal comforts in order to establish a forever relationship. In this case, she will have to take the first step in doing so to come out for you - no other option. Over time, either she will get used to your place once you start living a life together, i dont think she would feel the same forever that she must live in her country. Or you will get used to her country's climate over time as you visit often. but understand it is going to take a few years.
Ask her what she wants to do. Ask her how much time she would need to come to a decision. Because it has to be acted upon or agreed from her end. If you guys manage to take the first step together now, I'm sure everything will become fine later as long as you both continue to love each other.
Please do let me know what do you decide together.