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So me and my boyfriend is on a long distance relationship right now. We haven't seen each other for 9 months. He lives in Europe and I live in South-East Asia.
Last night, he was telling me he needs a break. You know, whenever you ask for an advice about this on a forum, they would say this term won't work, meaning that the rebound relationship you'll be having won't work.
He said that it's only a concept of being dependant or independent because he wants us to focus on college first, since we are both college freshmen this year. He told me sometimes he just wants to live a normal life there in Europe as a normal person because his gf is far far away from him, like take a break for now and comeback later when we get good degrees. He said he just wants me to bring up a good career. He said he wants to stop dreaming and be realistic by doing real stuffs to be together in the future. I thought he was playing me all this time, but he said no, he said he might be too serious. He said if he's bored with me or sex is all he needs, he would have cheated on me but he never did. I asked him what is his goal from this break. He said he wants to be with me, in the future, but he needs some "me time" to study right now for a fresh start or college. He said he won't fight, he will just wait and let the time takes control. I know that true love won't die, but is it wrong if I'm worrying about this "break"?
The few hours later, he texted me again. He said he definitely doesn't want to break up, he just needs some space. He feels that things are too serious and he doesn't want to feel insecure about our relationship, asking if I'm okay with that. I was so shocked and mad. He was trying to calm me down. He said it's not because he wants to fuck around with girls, but it's about him taking all his time for himself right now. He needs to chill, that's all, he explained. Thinking about our relationship stresses him out. I was disappointed and I told him I'm not something that he could push and pull back whenever he wants. But it seems like I took it the wrong way not like what he expected me to think. He said it's stressful because he cares about me and he doesn't want me to suffer because of him not having time for me. Just fyi, her mom kinda hates me just because I'm Asian and a Muslim, and I don't have blue eyes, his mom wants her future grandsons to have blue eyes like all their family members. The only chance I could be with him is being a successful career woman (that I absolutely will work my ass off for my own good, not to please his mom for sure).
He said in the next few weeks, he won't have time to explain his feelings and all the explanations for this, that's why he prefers to "take a break" but I'm still his gf and he's still my bf. He said he's afraid he won't be able to respond my texts because he's studying. I completely understand that, but why should we take a break? He said it's his fault I'll never meet any guy around me because I'm just too in love with him, goes the same way for him. He said it's not about girls, it's about us, just us. He said there's a chance we will have a serious thing together one day, but not a big chance (I assume because of his mom). I asked him, he knew that it's only a small chance then why does he stay with me still? Why doesn't he leave me? He said, "Because it's still a chance! There is a chance! But I know it's not for now!"
He said he doesn't want me to regret being restricted by him when if one day (who the hell knows) all the things we have planned to live together is just going to be a dream, we are both just gonna be hurting so bad. He said he's doing this just to get a real chance to have a possible future together with me. He doesn't think he can breakup with me, he doesn't want me to forget him. He wants us to work hard to be together years after. Well, that's how he explained the "break" about.
What do you think? Was he really honest of what he actually wants to achieve from this "break"? Is it good or bad for both of us? What do you think I should do? Should I text him first or should I remain quiet until he texts me first?
Please help. I need your opinions. Thank you, I'll really appreciate that.
Last night, he was telling me he needs a break. You know, whenever you ask for an advice about this on a forum, they would say this term won't work, meaning that the rebound relationship you'll be having won't work.
He said that it's only a concept of being dependant or independent because he wants us to focus on college first, since we are both college freshmen this year. He told me sometimes he just wants to live a normal life there in Europe as a normal person because his gf is far far away from him, like take a break for now and comeback later when we get good degrees. He said he just wants me to bring up a good career. He said he wants to stop dreaming and be realistic by doing real stuffs to be together in the future. I thought he was playing me all this time, but he said no, he said he might be too serious. He said if he's bored with me or sex is all he needs, he would have cheated on me but he never did. I asked him what is his goal from this break. He said he wants to be with me, in the future, but he needs some "me time" to study right now for a fresh start or college. He said he won't fight, he will just wait and let the time takes control. I know that true love won't die, but is it wrong if I'm worrying about this "break"?
The few hours later, he texted me again. He said he definitely doesn't want to break up, he just needs some space. He feels that things are too serious and he doesn't want to feel insecure about our relationship, asking if I'm okay with that. I was so shocked and mad. He was trying to calm me down. He said it's not because he wants to fuck around with girls, but it's about him taking all his time for himself right now. He needs to chill, that's all, he explained. Thinking about our relationship stresses him out. I was disappointed and I told him I'm not something that he could push and pull back whenever he wants. But it seems like I took it the wrong way not like what he expected me to think. He said it's stressful because he cares about me and he doesn't want me to suffer because of him not having time for me. Just fyi, her mom kinda hates me just because I'm Asian and a Muslim, and I don't have blue eyes, his mom wants her future grandsons to have blue eyes like all their family members. The only chance I could be with him is being a successful career woman (that I absolutely will work my ass off for my own good, not to please his mom for sure).
He said in the next few weeks, he won't have time to explain his feelings and all the explanations for this, that's why he prefers to "take a break" but I'm still his gf and he's still my bf. He said he's afraid he won't be able to respond my texts because he's studying. I completely understand that, but why should we take a break? He said it's his fault I'll never meet any guy around me because I'm just too in love with him, goes the same way for him. He said it's not about girls, it's about us, just us. He said there's a chance we will have a serious thing together one day, but not a big chance (I assume because of his mom). I asked him, he knew that it's only a small chance then why does he stay with me still? Why doesn't he leave me? He said, "Because it's still a chance! There is a chance! But I know it's not for now!"
He said he doesn't want me to regret being restricted by him when if one day (who the hell knows) all the things we have planned to live together is just going to be a dream, we are both just gonna be hurting so bad. He said he's doing this just to get a real chance to have a possible future together with me. He doesn't think he can breakup with me, he doesn't want me to forget him. He wants us to work hard to be together years after. Well, that's how he explained the "break" about.
What do you think? Was he really honest of what he actually wants to achieve from this "break"? Is it good or bad for both of us? What do you think I should do? Should I text him first or should I remain quiet until he texts me first?
Please help. I need your opinions. Thank you, I'll really appreciate that.
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