Some advice for my long story ?

[desperateman]

I had a girlfriend ... And i was loving her , i am living in a country ( Turkey ) in the easters Side of europe. She was from Poland.

I have been in Poland for 5 months , when we first met she already had a boyfriend. Which is also from Turkey. They were in long distance relationship too. But after a month we met , they have broke up with some reason but she said that , it was really bad for her . After that we started to see eachother a lot . Every week we were meeting. After 2 months she broke up we started a relationship and we travelled together through europe. She was telling that i am someone she can love and someone so good and perfect. " You are someone really special for me " .

We spent a lot of good time together. These times were the best moments of my life ... I really felt i was happy finally.

Before 2 weeks i left Poland she was crying like everyday ... And the day and after i left Poland she was crying on phone and she was saying that she is hopeless. i thougt that we could make it through distances and meet in other countries. İt could be exciting even .

After a few days , i finally convinced her back , after i arrived in Turkey. Showed my flight ticket to Ukraine and said we can meet in there after a few months. Then she finally become better. And we made it till we meet up in there.


It was a really hard time period for both of us while waiting. But finally we met in Ukraine. İt was a wonderful one week with her ... She was happy and i was happy nothing was wrong everything was good.

As every thing which is wonderful , our trip has came to an end , in next monday i came back to my country as she did to hers

After she arrived back to her home she called me she was crying and she broke up ... Said i cant stand to this , i cannot love you in this way , if we meet up so less like that.


I bagged to her to not do this on this phone call , she said i need to rest ... But after that a few days we didnt talk .

After a week , every morning i was waking up with huge texts , she was talking about her feelings and saying she feels so confused about everything and feels so much pain. She is telling that she is missing me but she doesnt want to be together again ....


I had never acted against to her in bad manner ... I spared my time to listen her feelings and try to help her ... But not the last öne because i was also feeling so bad about it ... Suddenly i started to crying and yelling ...but i didnt tell anything bad to her .


After a day we talked again and , agreed on start again over as friends ... Our mood about that quite good and okay , everything was fine ...


Even sometimes i was wishing good days to her and sometimes she was too .

But i didnt want to get in too much conversation because i just didnt want to effect myself ( at the sametime i was at an internship )



After 5 days without telling something .

She suddenly blocked me on everywhere on social Media ...


And end of the Communication for a while


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After a few months which full of dark ... She suddenly texted on Instagram ( but i was still blocked on other platforms )

Asked about me how am i and wondering about me she says...



I explained her ... But after a few words of Communication she suddenly said good night and block back....



Again no contact for öne more month


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She sent an invitation on Instagram but didnt remove the blocks on other platforms




I accepted her invitation

May be i still feel something ... but my feelings are corrupted so much in this period of time .

She was from Poznan in Poland ... I am finally have the opportunties to do my master Master degree in there ... But i need to wait 1 more year.


What should i do ?

Should i ask to her "why?" ?


Help me forum pls...

[bunnyhabit]

I think she has made it clear she can not support a long distance relationship. Unless you can bring yourself and her close together this romance will fall apart. Suggest you go no contact for a year until you move to her area. At that time you can consider rekindling relationships if she remains available for a year.

[Olivia]

You and your girlfriend have obviously come to a crossroads in your relationship; otherwise, you wouldn't be interested in evaluating your relationship.

That crossroads area can be a tricky one. It's uncomfortable - often because you don't know exactly why you're there or what you're supposed to do next - and one wrong move could potentially ruin the entire relationship.

Below are three steps that should help you at least get an idea of how you should go about evaluating your relationship.

1. Identify the Problem Areas
Maybe you've been together for a long time and now she's talking about getting married while you're wondering if she's "The One" - The One to marry, The One to move in with, or - crap - even just The One to be faithful to. Maybe you've noticed she doesn't seem as interested in you as she once was and now you're wondering if you've lost your sex appeal or if someone else has caught her attention. Maybe you've landed some big job promotion but it's in another city, another state, or even another country, and you're wondering how that's going to affect your relationship and whether you should even try to stay together.

Whatever the "problem" is, you need to sit down - and probably just by yourself at first - and clearly pinpoint it. There's no point in evaluating your relationship if you don't even know what it is that has you on edge in the first place. And trust me - you don't want to approach your girlfriend with one of her usual lines - "We need to talk" - if you don't even know what it is you need to talk about.

2. Discuss Solutions for the Problems
Once you've determined what the problem is, or, what it is that has your relationship at a crossroads - it's time to think about some solutions, or, some possible paths you and your girlfriend - or, just you - can take. As you're evaluating your relationship, you might want to think about the possible solutions or paths by yourself at first. That way, once it's time to approach your girlfriend about the situation, you don't throw some half-baked idea out at her that you really haven't spent much time considering. Doing this could get you slapped, or, married.

For example, if it's a job promotion that means you have to move, possible solutions could be asking your girlfriend to move with you, turning the job down, or breaking up with her altogether. If your girlfriend's pushing you toward marriage, possible solutions might be marrying her, appeasing her with a live-in situation for now, or - again - breaking up with her altogether.

Keep in mind that, at this point, you're just thinking about all possible solutions. You're not making an final decisions yet. That comes next.

3. Determine Whether You're Willing to Compromise
Think about all those solutions you, or you and your girlfriend together, came up with. Now, think about whether or not you're willing to try those solutions.

For example, if you truly think your girlfriend isn't attracted to you anymore, you need to think of ways you can handle that. Should you get yourself back in shape and hope she becomes interested in you again? It usually works - especially if there aren't any other, more serious underlying problems. Or, should you let your pride take over and dump her if she can't accept you for who you are? That's always an option, too - even though future females in your life are likely to feel the same way.

If it's something like a new job that requires a move, are you willing to ask your girlfriend to move with you? Do you even want her to move with you? And, if you do and she says no, are you willing to give up the job for her? If not, do you think the relationship could survive as a long-distance relationship?

Remember, evaluating your relationship doesn't mean figuring out a way to stay together; rather, it means figuring out if staying together is what you want.

[desperateman]

You are right


İt was all my fault...

Bcs i didnt understand her at that position. On that situation i supposed to understand her and convince her ... I had to show her the safe zone and make her relieved and hopeful.

But i couldnt , i didnt bcs i was in rebellion to the situation. I I didnt accept the bad conditions. I was fighting against the distances blindly ... whereas i forgot about her while i was busy with rebelling...



Now only memories left to me and i am missing her so much. In this chaotic world , which is actually where i born and grew up , i feel totally alone.


I understand just now , how she was important for me. And how much i need to care about her.

She was my happiness and smile.

Now i left my smile and light in somewhere Poland , i divided in to two and only the dark and miserable leftover is in me now.


There is so much to explain ... Everything inside of me.

She was so special , still she is.

I miss her so much .