6 years ldr help

[JohnRedcorn]

Before you read, please note that we are not going to give up, we have both made it clear we have no intentions to give up on each other or break it off. Please help us. But please don't tell us to give up. I've been told this one too many times and so has she and it's done nothing to help us. We ask for HELP, relatable situations about you and your other half or any advice that you would give a married /soon to be married couple. Thank you. My girlfriend is in the UK and I'm in the US. We are both adults over 21. There is a five hour difference between us and neither of us have ever had the luxury of being with each other in the same physical room, EVER during the 6 years we've been together. Both of us have anxiety disorders and mental issues. My girlfriend and I used to be very happy together as any other couple would be especially when first getting together. We are recovering from long traumatizing past that we have had together, but we love each other dearly. The wall between us has grown more noticable than ever this year. Four years and I never spoke of this wall, the miles between us, until this year, until I have become so much in pain that I must realize how much of a problem it is. It never used to be, but now.. it is. We used to get by so easy with all we used to do, to talking and learning more about each other, to spending every single second with each other, watching hours of movies together, playing games, laughing, just having fun and admiring each other for all that we are. We were so big of a couple that everyone on the website we met at talked about us, and we are the only serious couple on the new website we spend time together on. I don't have a job and neither does she, we do not go to school, we do not have friends, we sacrificed a lot for each other. I best mention this now that my mother and stepfather support everything I do in my life including my relationship with my girlfriend. We plan to get married soon when we can finally be truly together and my parents support this greatly. I live a free life. My girlfriend however does not and I will get to that in a moment. Not only is there is no freedom of speech in the UK, But my girl is a slave to her mother. We have a plan for my girlfriend to stay in the US upon a legal marriage. Her mother orders her around like she is Cinderella. When she would cry, her mother lacked sympathy or care. She is forced to cook and clean the house every single day We've both came to the conclusion that her mother is a narcissist because she treats her as a slave instead of treating her like a person. Her parents are divorced, she has a brother who gets by with everything meanwhile my girlfriend has to suffer in a limited life. She has to have permission to even do as much as go out and she is AN ADULT. If she does not do whatever her mother tells her, then her mother will threaten to physically abuse her, she is scared of her and so she has no choice but to obey her. This is not a healthy way for any young girl to live. Especially when she has a man in her life, then the stress of the mother and brother gets added to her other half's life. To make it worse, she has a sister who is the same as her mother. And get this, the lot of them all cannot stand me and have threatned to get me out of the picture. What they've done to me has caused me worse PTSD and furthed mental problems so much to the point where I go to a therapist , for which has been a full year and I still have noted much of a difference in my life. Her mother judges me without even knowing me and so does the rest of her family. It is a toxic mess and makes me feel sick everyday knowing that she is still far away from me with them.. It makes me feel like a helpless prince who only wants and feels an endless need to save the princess confined up in the tour from the evil sisters. Only recently such as since about the middle of 2017 has her mother become a known part of everyday in our life because things changed ever since her brother went to college. She said now that hes in college she is expected to do more and is worked to the bone. She gets tired easier and i cannot cope with change. For the past many, many long months now we dont do what we used to anymore. We constantly get disturbed by her mother when we are on call. All of our problems now come from the fact that we are separated by thousands of miles and cant do anything about it because she says her mother would come after her and would stop her. How are we going to have a happy life together if her mother plans to control her life? And her mother calls ME controlling, She has more power to be controlling than i could ever be because she is in the same house as her. I cant even touch her if i wanted to. Its not like i can force her like she does, my wife should be a free woman and deserves to be a free, happy woman. I feel her mother has riddled her life with fear so much to the point where my wife is scared of everything. Every single day, I cry my eyes out, I feel heart broken and scared of what's around the corner. I dont know when i will ever be able to actually live my life with my girlfriend. We used to spend every second together but for months now, its an ongoing cycle of us planning to spend a night or day together only to end up in ruins every single time either because my wife is so worn down mentally and just wont come spend time with me, because she is doing chores ordered by her mother, or because she doesnt want to wake her mother because british walls are thin. Every day is a fight, I cry, I scream and she goes distant. I stay awake for hours at night crying over her, Everyday is lonley, and i feel more single than in a relationship. I miss the company i once had. there are no longer any goodnights.. Just her passing out in fear that her mother will hear her on her laptop or phone , because if she does, then she will take it away from her so she cant be with me. Her family is ruining the happiness and freedom of both her life and our relationship. I fear of dying of a broken heart or some sort of disease because of the daily sadness and stress of all of this. I am so lonely and lost and i need help, we need help. Every night i try to distract myself but shes not there like she used to be, everyday and night i live in fear. I am risking my health for the sake of my relationship, i dont want to ruin my health, i cry on average atleast 30 times a week, no exaggerating, i have fear and anxiety nearly everyday, and feel lonely alot of the time, most of my time spent staring at a blank phone screen, sometimes 30 minutes between each message, sometimes it gets so bad that she says we cant call like i usually feel better doing because its healthier for us both, and the rejection hurt, i adore her with all my heart and the rejection i feel kills me inside when she doesnt answer my calls on purpose because she feels distant or in a false reality as we call it.I'm a loving, romantic, dedicating man who lives on love and spent over 2,000 dollars on this woman without a single regret. I mailed her over 50 letters and postcards and i still continue to do so everyday. She has not done as much for me, but would if it werent for her mother controlling the money she does get in and her mother controlling her life. I've already broken one 500$ laptop over her, and damaged two phones over her because of how much agony I am in and have been in. I've hurt my vocal chords screaming over her to help me, to save me, to be with me, to please not leave me alone, I've hurt my soul and heart crying over her. I've threw up over her many times, couldnt breathe right because of the anxiety and laid in a ball on the floor crying for her to help me despite her being an ocean away. Shes in my dreams contantly whether good or bad. If I could just show up on her door with flowers and all my love, I would. Please help us. Help me. Help her. Help. i am reaching out for help anywhere i can get it. How do we get past this together? What do we do? Have you ever heard of a situation like this before or been in one? Where do we go?

[Gloria]

I really don't see this relationship working out between you two. There is so much interference from the mother in your relationship, also she's still under the mom's control. However, if you decide to remain with her, then you might need to wait for many years for her to gain freedom from her mother.

[Roy]

First, I feel your girlfriend isn't telling you the truth about her mom. I suspect that woman she refers to as her mom might not be her mom. I don't believe any mother will treat her child like a slave.

However, if you truly love her and want to be with her, then you need to make arrangement with her to be with you. Although I feel you aren't capable of taking care of her for now because you are jobless. So, first get a job and make money for yourself before thinking of the next step to take.