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Hello everyone,
I have been in a relationship with my current Girlfriend since I was 16, and we have stayed together for eight years, but now I feel that the cracks are beginning to appear.
We have always stuck by each other and have been faithful throughout our relationship, and I must confess I didn't think we'd last more than a year! Obviously the average person going from 16 has many relationships, and I honestly thought I would be of no exception to that unwritten rule. However as time went on I found myself being very happy and comfortable, she was (and still is) my best friend, so I never had any thoughts of looking for other relationships, aside from the odd involuntary attraction of course. I have recently been mulling over the possibility of moving in together (money permitted of course) and also asking the BIG question and getting engaged.
However times recently have been tough. We find ourselves arguing more often than I personally feel healthy, picking small and insagnificent things to grumble and groan about. I often find that we struggle to find interesting things to do together, I know she finds her job strenuous and this often causes her to get a little tired and grouchy, but sometimes we just sit puzzling what to do. Surely this isn't right?
We do have different interests in life but similar likes and dislikes also. Whilst our different interests can make our relationship more interesting it also can make it challenging too. I feel the BIGGEST problem (I'm sure you'll agree) is that in eight years of relationship we have very very rarely had sex! Sure we do other 'things' but she has a problem that makes it very uncomfortable and painful to have intercourse, to the point she erupts with tears, which makes it very difficult for me also. I have asked time and time again for her to seek professional medical help, but her issues with anxiety make it hard for her and still nothing has been done. Perhaps this has now taken its toll?
I can't express nor do I have the time to share everything, and particularly how conflicted and somewhat depressed I am about my situation. To make it worse I have been having feelings for a girl I used to work with (although I still do work with on occasion) but I have made every effort to distance myself from her, I also believe she doesn't feel the same way, but perhaps I am wrong. I feel that my Girlfriend and I are two worlds apart one moment and then completely fine and inseparable the next. I want a future with her but sometimes I have doubts about where my future should be. I want a happy future WITH her and not a negative future with or without her, and the feelings for my old colleague, accompanied by the lack of physical interaction with my girlfriend (whom I believe is beautiful) is causing me to feel ashamed and embarrassed with myself.
I am am very conflicted on what measures I should take, and I am trying to sift through my feelings to find a true answer.
Sorry if I rambled but I did try to make it as short as possible, thanks you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts.
CL
I have been in a relationship with my current Girlfriend since I was 16, and we have stayed together for eight years, but now I feel that the cracks are beginning to appear.
We have always stuck by each other and have been faithful throughout our relationship, and I must confess I didn't think we'd last more than a year! Obviously the average person going from 16 has many relationships, and I honestly thought I would be of no exception to that unwritten rule. However as time went on I found myself being very happy and comfortable, she was (and still is) my best friend, so I never had any thoughts of looking for other relationships, aside from the odd involuntary attraction of course. I have recently been mulling over the possibility of moving in together (money permitted of course) and also asking the BIG question and getting engaged.
However times recently have been tough. We find ourselves arguing more often than I personally feel healthy, picking small and insagnificent things to grumble and groan about. I often find that we struggle to find interesting things to do together, I know she finds her job strenuous and this often causes her to get a little tired and grouchy, but sometimes we just sit puzzling what to do. Surely this isn't right?
We do have different interests in life but similar likes and dislikes also. Whilst our different interests can make our relationship more interesting it also can make it challenging too. I feel the BIGGEST problem (I'm sure you'll agree) is that in eight years of relationship we have very very rarely had sex! Sure we do other 'things' but she has a problem that makes it very uncomfortable and painful to have intercourse, to the point she erupts with tears, which makes it very difficult for me also. I have asked time and time again for her to seek professional medical help, but her issues with anxiety make it hard for her and still nothing has been done. Perhaps this has now taken its toll?
I can't express nor do I have the time to share everything, and particularly how conflicted and somewhat depressed I am about my situation. To make it worse I have been having feelings for a girl I used to work with (although I still do work with on occasion) but I have made every effort to distance myself from her, I also believe she doesn't feel the same way, but perhaps I am wrong. I feel that my Girlfriend and I are two worlds apart one moment and then completely fine and inseparable the next. I want a future with her but sometimes I have doubts about where my future should be. I want a happy future WITH her and not a negative future with or without her, and the feelings for my old colleague, accompanied by the lack of physical interaction with my girlfriend (whom I believe is beautiful) is causing me to feel ashamed and embarrassed with myself.
I am am very conflicted on what measures I should take, and I am trying to sift through my feelings to find a true answer.
Sorry if I rambled but I did try to make it as short as possible, thanks you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts.
CL
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