My Boyfriend Watches Lots of Porn

[Ashley]

My boyfriend has stopped finding me sexually attractive because he watches too much porn.

I normally don't care if a guy watches porn. But he admitted to saying he never lusts after me anymore because I don't act like a porn star or look like a porn star. He told me that even if I DID act like a porn star and get all dressed up like that it would be fake and he wants someone that acts like that naturally.

Is this normal or OK? I'm really hurt.

[Nicolas]

Hi Ashley,

What a d*%k head.

OK, your boyfriend might be a perfectly nice guy and I am sure there is a reason you fell in love with him in the first place and right now he is being idiotic and cruel.

If you have read my other replies or articles I have posted on this subject you know I have no problem directly with porn. (Most guys watch porn and many women do. It is only a problem when it gets excessive or when they start turning to porn INSTEAD of real life sex.)

And that is a REAL issue along with a few others issues related to porn.

And this guy is setting himself up for a lifetime of disappointment and obviously is not equipped for a relationship with a real woman.

A couple quick things...

A. You are hot. I checked out your picture on Facebook and you are a very attractive woman and certainly worthy of being lusted after.

B. The fact that you are willing to do some role playing and pretend to be a porn star for your boyfriend gets you massive "Good Girlfriend" points.

C. It is ALWAYS fake..."real" porn stars are not like that either.

I have never in my life met a woman who actually LIKE'S being taken in the arse by a 12 inch cock.

The reason why this guy is fixated on porn stars can be debated to the end of the earth (like I said, I am not against porn and I do not think it is healthy that 12 and 13 year old's and even younger are being exposed to hard core pornography as their first example of sexuality... and I would like to see something done about this.)

Some advice...

1. Give him one more chance to come back to reality and then leave him.

Being with a guy who holds you up against a ridiculous standard is horrible for your self esteem.

2. Remember... this is not about you... he is fixated on the unattainable and you deserve better.

3. He is the one with a serious issue... not you.

4. If he is on the internet all the time watching porn, that is not about just an occasional "jolly."

That is an ADDICTION, he is a porn addict!

And needs "therapy coaching" to deal with his addiction.

Yes Ashley, there is such a thing as "Porn Addiction" and it is becoming more and more common in men and evidence is emerging that women are becoming "porn addicts" too.

Give him one more chance to sort himself out... if he really "values" you he will do it. If not it is simple.

Leave him, and find yourself a man who enjoys making love with a REAL woman.

Value yourself Kate and do not measure yourself against "porn" actors.

Because that is all they are really... actors.

[Ashley]

Nicolas, thank you for your advice.