I Realized That There Was Some Part of His Life He Was Keeping Hidden

[Nora]

I met a guy in late January, but I realized that there was some part of his life he was keeping hidden. We had 'the talk' last week and he let me know he lives with his children's mother (he has two kids: 12 months old and a 4 year old), but the relationship has been rocky for 5 years and she's cheated on him twice.

Fast forward to us meeting and even after he told me about his situation, I still like him.

Question: How should I handle this situation?
He's confessed that he doesn't want to lose me as a friend and he's really into me. He's a really good guy and I'd like to see how it goes. Of course I'll keep my options open.

[Sammy]

OK, my reaction to this is that you shouldn't date this guy, that he's probably still not being 100% straight with you and that even if he IS telling you the whole and honest truth you should run for the hills.

Why?

Because this is just WAY too complicated and the odds are when all is said and done you're going to end up hurt.

Let's look at the options of what's going on here:

Option 1: He's lying to you, has no intention of getting out of his marriage and is just looking for some action on the side.

His story just feels "not right" to me. If he and his wife have been having issues for 5 years, why did they have two kids in that time? (including one just a year ago.)

I can tell you as a guy if I was miserable in a relationship I'd look for ways to have FEWER ties to a woman, not more. And nothing ties you to somebody like having a baby with them.

Plus the story about his wife cheating on him twice just reads like sympathy seeking to me. (Wait! Maybe the children aren't his!! Now THAT would be a soap opera!)

Am I saying this guy DEFINITELY is a lying who's playing you like a violin just to feed his ego and to get into your pants?

Not DEFINITELY.

But you know what?

Even if he's NOT lying to you, he's still got "bad news" written all over his forehead. Which leads us to . . .

Option 2: He's Telling You The Truth . . . You would still be well advised not to get involved.

Let me just say this as bluntly as possible:

DO NOT DATE A MARRIED MAN.

And even if he's not "married" he's still been with this woman for a long time, has kids with her and lives with her. Same difference.

Listen: History is littered with the broken hearts of women who "waited around" for a married man to leave their wives and watched their lives go by from the sidelines.

This guy's situation is just way too complicated for any self respecting woman to get involved with and even if you do create something with him you're always going to be the rebound girl.

So here's what I recommend you do:

1. Shoot him a text or an email saying "Fun meeting you the other day. I don't date married men, but if you ever get completely free, give me a call."

2. Stop talking to him.

3. You already proved that "Dynamic Dating" works . . .now go use it to catch a guy who's actually available and datable.

Sorry if this wasn't the message you wanted to get from me, but I'm trying to help you avoid a LOT of heart ache.

[Nora]

Sammy, thank you for your advice.