Is he a good or bad guy?

[candy10]

So me and this guy have been dating for like a year now before this we were like best friends. Its all good when we meet up, it's fun and we get along for the most part, he'l constantly make fun of me in a friendly teasing way of course and takes care of me at the time. But for me there are a few issues and i've put up with it a long while, recently it's been getting too much to handle though because I knew how he was with his exes in comparison.

With one ex for example he wrote her love letters and was so affectionate towards her brought her gifts, celebrated her birthday and valentines day, the other ex I saw the kind of stuff he wrote to her in text messages. Like caring thoughtful messages. even I miss you, I wanna hold you, I love you etc etc. So that's one thing that's missing, any kind of emotion. Im not an overly emotional person myself but it would be nice for him to show me some expression of emotion. I guess it's weird because we started as friends and at that transition point he said he felt more for me and he likes me in the more than friends way as his feelings developed. But since that point he just doesn't express himself. I don't much either but as the man I expect it from him first.
when I bring it up he comes out with all kinds of reasons such as the previous women gave him sex and that love is physical and emotional and he does bring that up a lot. I don't believe in sex before marriage. he says he holds back because of that as if ill get all the emotions if I give.him the physical side of things.

The next issue is in between us meeting up he barely initiates messages, but when I do he's pretty friendly enough and replies quick enough, when I stop initiating for a while he'l be like.where have you been why didn't I message and I thnk well why didn't you.

The last few weeks I became moodier with.him as evrything was building up. First I said let's meet on tuesday about two weeks back he was lik I should know he doesn't meet on tuesday and to meet friday (he makes a fuss over what day we can meet too ) or the following week, I said ok but I was ill the following week ..n then the week after that which ws last week he cancelled because he has to help his friend with his wedding plans, but most of that week I knew he ws simply going out with his friends and enjoying himself. BUT he dd say he hadn't seen them in months so I thought ok fine.
I got a little angry over all that still and he just laughed at me n said why am I going so crazy but when I stopped talking to him for a while he kept messaging me trying to cheer me up and then said ok we.can go away on holiday for a few days. That's the only time in a long time he's made an effort to keep me in is life.

Two days ago now what happened was I showed him a picture of a couple of instagram and said they look so in love and look what he says about her. I said you should be more affectionate like.him you're just cold and empty. He then proceeded to make a comment which did it for me. He said maybe if you dressed up like the woman and actually made an effort to dress up I would be like that with you. he was half joking half being serious but that really didn't help. its like he's coming up with yet another reason why he isn't the way I want him to be.
he then said if you need help I can get you someone who can help you dress better. Also it doesn't help the fact that I know he follows about 700 woman on instagram whther they're make up artists or models, but complete randoms. Its just weird to me to follow that many woman. I usually stick to a few celebrities maybe and a few people I know.

anyway that was enough for me at that time I just flipped and said you know what you do what you like and I'll do what I like and he said alright good luck so I blocked.him on social media. and we havnt spoken since.

I just don't know what to do now did I take it.too much to heart because he is constantly kidding around with me and am I over reacting. I feel like deep down he definitely has a soft spot for me since we have been friends for a good eight years now and it ws better when we wer friends because since it.became "more" iv just not seen eye to eye with him and he doesn't give me what I want I.e the emotions and according to him I don't give.him anything sexually and that's what he wants

[Scot]

I think you are taking this whole thing too far. You shouldn't have blocked him on social media just because he said you should dress better.

First, you were the one that compared him with another guy, and you got upset when he compared you to another girl. You see, it's not good to compare your partner with other people. Just as it annoyed you when you were compared to someone else, it annoyed him as well.

So, get in touch with him and apologize what you have done, and build your relationship again.

[Peggy]

In almost all relationships there's a delicate and unique balance at work. Each person silently takes on a certain role. Typically one individual becomes the giver and their partner becomes the taker. In your relationship you'd probably agree that your boyfriend is the one taking more while you give more. It would at least seem that way in terms of the level of affection you two share. Therefore the solution to the problem is to move the balance over a fair bit. Since you feel that you're giving too much affection and he's not giving enough you need to show him, through your actions, how fulfilling it can be to be more affectionate.

One major reason why some men aren't affectionate is they feel very self conscious about it. They don't want to hold hands with their girlfriend in public because they feel it's inappropriate to subject other people to that level of affection. Therefore, you will probably make some headway if you refrain from trying to be affectionate towards him when you two aren't alone. The next time you two are at your place, reach for his hand. Show him how nice it is to hold hands while you're watching television or talking. He likely won't pull away from you in this instance because there aren't any curious eyes watching you.

Another way to get him to be more affectionate is to subtly drop small hints about how much you care for him. Reach for his shoulder and then whisper in his ear how great he looks today. Or slip a small note in his coat pocket that describes how nice it is to kiss him. Small and innocent gestures like these can really help pull a man out of his shell. Once he sees how great it feels to know how much you care for and desire him, he'll want to return the favor. Just always be very mindful of how you're making him feel. If he seems receptive, don't push him too much. Let him set the pace while you continue to be accepting of whatever affection he shares with you.

[candy10]

I think you are taking this whole thing too far. You shouldn't have blocked him on social media just because he said you should dress better.

First, you were the one that compared him with another guy, and you got upset when he compared you to another girl. You see, it's not good to compare your partner with other people. Just as it annoyed you when you were compared to someone else, it annoyed him as well.

So, get in touch with him and apologize what you have done, and build your relationship again.

I think what I said about the guy is completely incomparable to him saying I should dress better..its no where near as insulting as that. all I said was the guy on social media is nice to the.girl and saying nice things about her..and he comes out with well if you dressed nicely or nicer than i would be nicer to you

[candy10]

In almost all relationships there's a delicate and unique balance at work. Each person silently takes on a certain role. Typically one individual becomes the giver and their partner becomes the taker. In your relationship you'd probably agree that your boyfriend is the one taking more while you give more. It would at least seem that way in terms of the level of affection you two share. Therefore the solution to the problem is to move the balance over a fair bit. Since you feel that you're giving too much affection and he's not giving enough you need to show him, through your actions, how fulfilling it can be to be more affectionate.

One major reason why some men aren't affectionate is they feel very self conscious about it. They don't want to hold hands with their girlfriend in public because they feel it's inappropriate to subject other people to that level of affection. Therefore, you will probably make some headway if you refrain from trying to be affectionate towards him when you two aren't alone. The next time you two are at your place, reach for his hand. Show him how nice it is to hold hands while you're watching television or talking. He likely won't pull away from you in this instance because there aren't any curious eyes watching you.

Another way to get him to be more affectionate is to subtly drop small hints about how much you care for him. Reach for his shoulder and then whisper in his ear how great he looks today. Or slip a small note in his coat pocket that describes how nice it is to kiss him. Small and innocent gestures like these can really help pull a man out of his shell. Once he sees how great it feels to know how much you care for and desire him, he'll want to return the favor. Just always be very mindful of how you're making him feel. If he seems receptive, don't push him too much. Let him set the pace while you continue to be accepting of whatever affection he shares with you.

Im actually not physically that affectionate towards him because he isn't verbally affectionate towards me. so I don't ever hold his hand and he doesn't hold mine. behind closed doors all he's interested interested is thr sexual stuff he doesn't do any of thr sweet innocent thngs. That's what i mean. It jst seems like he doesn't care other than to hav sex. and he doesn't express that he cars about me either. its lik two friends meeting laughing.laughing and joking together..and then at the end of the night he wants to go further.sexually which i prevent becsuse I don't believe in all that befre marriage.