We haven't had Sex for 2 months!

[lovetranslation]

Hello,

This is my first post. I usually just read advice forums of different sorts whenever I have a problem about life or love but this time I think I need some direct feedback.

I have been dating a woman for 4 years. She was divorced twice and I have been divorced once. She has a child from another marriage. That child is now in highschool and will be going to University soon. For that reason, my girlfriend has been super stressed and working her ass off to save money for her daughter's tuition.

Because of money issues my girlfriend had to get a job at a nightclub. It's like a lounge where rich guys come in suits and buy all the women drinks and flirt with them etc. I really don't want her working there but because I have a low income I can't support her so she has no choice but to work there to get tips. She doesn't like the job because the customers are perverts, the girls she works with are all drama queens and it's like mean girls or something. Also she works nights and comes home around 4 am so she hasn't slept much.

All these reasons combined on top of her daily housework and other daily stuff that needs to be done means she has very little time to be a girlfriend. I know this and I have been trying to be supportive. I ask her if she wants me to help her with something. We don't live together but I used to come over to her place a few times a week just to hang out with her and her daughter and have dinner together or just relax.

But with this new job i don't see her except on her 1 day off which is Sunday. But that is the only day she has time for her friends and daughter so we usually just meet for a quick lunch and she leaves. As the title says, this has been going on for 2 months and it looks like she will have to stay with this job until March of 2018. If it goes the way it is going now, I never get to see her except for an hour a week, we never go on dates, never have sex, hardly talk. She doesn't even reply to my texts until hours later and just says she was busy and tired.

I know she is overwhelmed at the moment so she has no time to think about me or about our relationship but recently I feel she is so distant. Sex aside, recently I feel any free time she has when she is not working or sleeping is spent going drinking with her friends. She doesn't invite me along because it's a girl's thing and so for the last 4 months or so I have been spending all my free time walking my dog, watching movies or sometimes going out with my own friends.

I don't know if there is a solution and maybe I just have to wait it for another year and hope that she decides to bring me back into her life but I am feeling very ignored, abandoned and like I am not that important to her. I told her how I felt and she just said she is too busy and for me to wait until her life becomes less hectic. But I am afraid money troubles and expenses for her daughter will go on for the next 4 years at university. Then again for when she wants to move out or get married etc. So she will always need money for her daughter. Does that mean she will never make time for me?

If anyone has any advice or just any experience with this kind of a situation I would be greatful!

Thanks for reading this long message.

[Richard]

Hi there,

I can see you are lonely despite the fact that you have a girlfriend. I know exactly what you are going through.

I won't advice you sit around everyday feeling lonely, because you will continue waiting for the next 4 years.

I think you should get another girlfriend who will give you attention and love.

Best wishes.

[Shirley]

My opinion is that she isn't ready for a relationship now. The fact is that she is just too busy for a relationship now.

So, I think you should give her space, and she will come back to you when she is ready.

[Dennis]

Sometimes when a guy and a girl have been with each other for a while, they might get to thinking that the excitement has gone away. At times like these the only thing that you can think about is: Why doesn't my girlfriend adore me anymore?

By and large this predicament is pretty commonplace in any lengthy relationship.

Just because your ladylove isn't as attentive as she once was, it doesn't have to mean that she's not still in love with you. You can still reel her back in.

Time changes people

Over a period of time people tend to change.

This can get complicated when it comes to a relationship, if both people do not change in a similar fashion.

For instance, say the two of you used to go out on the town every night, but now she just doesn't appear to be all that intrigued by the idea and you still enjoy it. This is a traditional example of two people evolving at different rates.

Even though some changes may be a little hard to swallow, they don't have to become deal breakers.

If the two of you can talk it over and meet half way, you'll not only find some terrific new ways to spend much needed time together, you can also jump-start the passion in your relationship.

On the other hand, sometimes there's simply nothing you can do in a case like this. You may have to sever the relationship and find someone who enjoys more of the same activities as you do.

Start with you

Oftentimes it's better to start at the beginning whenever possible. You've undoubtedly changed in one way or another since you and your sweetie first got together.

Think about your mannerisms and the way that you respond to her.

Can you realistically say that everything is the same as it was when you and she first met?

So tell me, do you still do all those little things that you used to do, like tell her how hot she looks or hold the door for her? You know, I'm willing to bet she still likes that sort of thing.

Did you get lazy?

Your girlfriend might be nothing more than just bored with you. Have you become a slug, just sitting on the couch all night watching t.v.?

Do you still keep in shape like you did back when the two of you first got together?

Do you still want to go out and do those things that the two of you used to do?

Did you have a lot of ambition and aspirations when you first met your girlfriend? Do you still?

Maybe you lost some of that passion for life you once had. Maybe that was one of the things that she liked most about you in the first place.

It might be a good idea for you to rustle up a good amount of that passion and ambition again. It's not healthy for you or your relationship to go flat.

If you're wondering: Why doesn't my girlfriend adore me anymore? Evaluating your relationship and answering these questions truthfully can be the ideal place to start.

Once you recognize the problem you'll find it much easier to come up with the solutions.