Is My Relationship And Happiness Salvageable

[deadoralive4]

So to start off this is my first post here since I joined just recently. I get advice from people in my life but they're all my age and have their own opinions. This might be a long post that might seem like a rant so you don't have to read but I'm just looking for some advice and piece of mind.

So I met my girlfriend 2 months ago on a snap chat extension app (romantic right). Come to find out she lives in the same town as me and she went to the same school as me just a year younger. Also, we shared common friends. It seemed like fate that I met her. We started talking more and eventually started having feelings for each other. She had about a month and a half left before she was going to a college 12 hours away from where I'm at in my hometown. I knew we probably shouldn't have started anything in retrospect but over time We fell in love with each other. This is my first serious relationship at 19 (sad I know). I'm really bad at socializing and my depression controls my life, slight things make me sad and moody. Despite all this we dated and made the most out of the time we had left and decided we would do long distance. We had a positive relationship, she became my first everything, my first kiss, my first cuddle, my first time in sex. It wasn't just infatuation I became deeply in love with her, not some childish puppy love but genuine love. I've never experienced this before true but it's a feeling I can't describe. She's not generic like everyone else, she has flaws and she knows it, she's not a slut, she's not her own person.

But enough about that, ever since she moved things have been hard. We get into a lot of altercations. And like I mean a lot. It's all stupid stuff, one person says one thing or accidentally offends the other, or there's some insecurity. In the begging I was just frustrated with it all, and eventually I just broke down. Every time we fight now it gets deep and I hurt so much. My depression makes me already feel like I'm worthless and that no one truly cares about me, and when she says something, recently for example, "I don't need you" it crushed me. I love her and I want to work things out, I'm trying. Not out of desperation but because I genuinely do think there's a possible future with her. The problem is, she has a tendency to act childish. She wants me to tell her how I feel and try to understand my depression and I, but every time I do and it's something she doesn't agree with she just blows up in my face. It seems like to me she's bipolar, she's either really happy or really dead inside. Her moods switch almost instantly depending on what I say and do or what I don't. Like I said I'm trying to work things out, but I'm young and still not matured completely. She says she'll try but the next day, week, etc. the cycle continues. I don't know what to do it just seems like she says she wants things to be good and happy but she won't put the effort to do so. I'm not perfect, I get easily offended, i'm sensitive, and I can act like a baby at times too. But I always try and take a step back after and realize how I affect others. I can't give her time to calm down when we're fighting because the longer I don't message her the angrier she gets. I don't know does this whole thing seem impossible, or can something be done. I don't like giving up on things, especially people. I realize there's other girls out there but I've been single 19 years because I wasn't interested in any of them apart from their looks. My heart hurts after every altercation and it's chickening me. She'll say things she doesn't mean like "just leave me" or "I don't need you" or " you don't really love me". It makes me feel like a pest that's just buzzing around her. But then when she calms down and things are better she says she was just frustrated. But the effects of those words don't go away. Right now she did something I asked her not to do yesterday because it bothered me and I asked her to stop, then she proceeds to egg me on and not try to let things go. I asked her what she wants and the last thing she said was "Go away". This cycle is chickening me. I don't know what she want's or what she's truly thinking, especially because this is long distance it's so much harder to control these things. We would get over things easier in person just by being with each other but now, it's so hard. What do you guys think? Am I a fool to try and mend this and make something out of it, or is there a future that could happen here? Any serious advice would be appreciated, thanks.

[Richard]

I know you are really young and never being a relationship. Most of the attitude she puts up is common among women. If you want a relationship with a woman, you must be ready to tolerate such act.

Like you said, she says things that offends you. This is another common trait among women, so cope with it.

Wish you good luck.

[Jane]

There are many challenges to a long distance relationship. When you and your sweetheart are separated by distance it is hard to stay loyal and committed to your relationship. But if you are determined to making your long distance relationship work, these three tips will give you the necessary knowledge you need to make your relationship last.

Communication

Communication is an integral component in any relationship, not just a long distance one. However, it becomes a key component to maintaining a relationship when you are apart. This is because out of sight out of mind, as the saying goes.

When communication stops, a relationship will die. There isn't a relationship when communication is cut off.

Loyalty

With the number of available singles in your town it may be tempting to agree to go on a date with somebody else when you are not together with your partner. You may feel that you are just agreeing to go out as friends, and to kill time or to keep entertained.

However, before you agree to accept a date invitation think about how you would feel if your long distance partner did the same?

Even if your date is an innocent meeting, this can trigger jealousy and mistrust. Staying emotionally loyal to your partner is the key to maintaining a successful long distance relationship. Don't take a date invitation if you think that your partner would not appreciate if they found out about it.

Commitment

It takes a lot of patience to get through the time when you and your partner are separated by distance. One of you may be away for work or school, and you both may have a clear idea of when you can be together again. In certain circumstances you may however not even have an idea of when you will be together again. If one of you took a job in a far away city or a different state, or is traveling overseas for work, you may have a very vague idea of when you will be together again.

Commitment of both partners is necessary to get you both through the difficult time of separation.

[Clinton]

Most people think that long distance relationships never work out. But it is actually possible. To contradict popular belief, here are long distance relationship tips:

Communicate Everyday if Possible

It doesn't necessarily need to be everyday, it just has to be frequent. Staying in touch lets both parties know that there is still love and trust in the relationship. There are a lot of social networking sites or free video calling applications around to make communication easy. All a person needs is a device that uses internet connection and one can call anyone at anytime.

Do Things Together

Yes it's silly, but isn't the idea of still being able to do stuff together while the couple is not physically together sweet? It keeps the relationship going and strong. Just do stuff like watching TV or cook the same dishes together.

Look at the Bright Side

Just think of the things one could do when the partner is not around. More time with friends and family, no fighting over silly things, no accusations and the best part is the feeling one gets after not seeing a person for a long time.

Avoid Temptation

Everyone has to fulfill one's emotional and sexual needs. But if a person is in a long distance relationship, patience should be practiced. Avoid the flirty people or simply avoid trouble.

Talk About Your Future Together

Talking about the future with one's partner feels good because both parties get the feeling that the relationship is going steady and it will last a long time.

Avoid Jealousy and Be Trusting

To make the relationship work, couples should trust one another. Just think positive that the partner will avoid temptation, be loyal and faithful.

Material Objects

One more thing to keep the relationship going is giving each other material things that have a meaningful symbolism. A partner will always have something to look at, hug or kiss every time one misses his/her partner. It never fails to provide happiness and comfort in a relationship.

Often Visit Each Other

Of course, no one can survive a long distance relationship with just cell phones and the internet. Visit one another as much as possible to keep the spark of the relationship. Also remember that one's lover is like family. When times like when there are funerals of relatives or someone is in the hospital, the partner should come no matter what to show care and interest.

Make the Most of Your Time

When it has been a long time since a couple was not together, treat one another like it's the last time and one should make up for the time lost. Spend some quality time together, maybe a nice romantic dinner or picnic. Or maybe just lock yourselves inside a room.

These long distance relationship tips are actually not too hard if one is determined to make things work. The main secret to these kinds of relationships is trust and determination. If both parties can follow these tips and is determined to this, there is a high chance that will make the relationship last strong.