Need some advise

[Scotch141]

My girlfriend I just got back together after two week “break”. I’m wondering how I should be acting towards her and how I should be treating her and treating our relationship at this point. We took the break due to a mistake I made. I got a bit insecure About out relationship and showed some distrust in her and her honesty.


We finally had a long talk about it all and our relationship and agreed that we both kind of lost sight of ourselves and we’re putting way too much into each other. Meaning we were both putting everything we had into each other and not taking any time to think about ourselves. So we thought because we still love each other very much and most of our relationship has been amazing, we would keep hanging out and see what happens.

After we we talked in person she text me later on saying it was really good to see me. We flirted a little through texts and everything’s been fine. Even The following day we continue texting throughout the day. At one point she even told me she kind of missed me and was being very sweet with me. I was giving her complements here and there throughout the day as I always have in our relationship. At one point she told me to “stop it” I asked her stop what? She said being charming and giving her all these compliments. She said she appreciates it but she still get it complements. She also said I put her on a pedestal... I told her “Well you’ve been being really sweet to me. Makes it a little hard not to want to be sweet back...”
She simply responded with a cute smiley face. So my question is how should I be acting how should I be treating her in this time right now. Should I just play cool and be aloof? Should I stop giving her complements? I kind of feel like I should just be showing confidence and give her space and time to miss me reasons to think about me... any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

[David]

Never let her see you sweat
You have to play it cool, and never let her know that you're upset about the breakup. If she knew that you were missing her, that all you wanted to do was be with her again, it puts the ball in her court and lets her know she can play by her own rules.

Avoid eye contact
Eye contact is the wrong way to go. There's something about the eyes that make it impossible to keep things from your former significant other. She'll be able to tell if there's something you're keeping from her, or worse, if you still have the same feelings you used to.

Short conversations
The longer the conversation goes, the more likely you are to say something to her that you shouldn't. If the conversation goes anything beyond short and simple, you run the risk of saying things you don't want her to know.

Don't be in a rush to leave
If you find yourself somewhere and your ex shows up, leaving right away lets her know that you're still emotionally invested in her. But, if you stick around and keep your contact with her to a minimum, it sends the statement that you're okay without her.

Keep your feelings to yourself
It's more likely that you truly do miss her and want her back, but the worst thing you can do is let her know that. You've done a good job of keeping things to yourself so far, so don't ruin it by confessing how you feel. While communication is the key, you have to pick the right time.

[Olivia]

On one hand...

Keeping your girlfriend attracted to you in your relationship is very important.
If she's more attracted to you, she will enjoy being with you much more, and she will be a better girlfriend for you.

On the other hand...
Keeping your girlfriend attracted to you is CRITICALLY important to having a healthy relationship that lasts over time.

Bottom line, if she's not attracted to you, she will ultimately cheat on you or leave you. If she's too nice to hurt you like that, she will stay, but she will withdraw into her shell, she won't enjoy being with you, and she'll keep thinking about other guys who are much more attractive than you.

Long term attraction is an excellent foundation for a great relationship. Your sex is better, your love is better, your life is better.

But wait...

Keeping your girlfriend attracted in a relationship involves several things that you must be aware of.

Find out where your woman sees you as a wuss, and turn it around.

No man is perfect. We all have areas where we are unattractive to women. Don't beat yourself up about it, because for the most part, women are super lenient about it.

They don't expect you to never be a wuss, but they definitely want to see that you're trying your best to be a good man.

Some common ways guys make women lose attraction:

They are insecure
They are stagnating in life, and they're not doing anything about it.
They complain too much
They lose their composure at the wrong time and look like a wuss.
They are too submissive in the relationship.
They have a weak spine - no integrity.
They are not authentic - wear a fake mask, too afraid to vulnerably express themselves.
They do not face things in life, they avoid like cowards.

If you do any of these, or you do something else, then your girlfriend is not as attracted to you as she could be, and you can fix this - here's how:

1. Acknowledge your shortcomings. This is not a sign of weakness but of strength. It takes a strong man to admit his own weaknesses. Besides, the only way to convince your girlfriend that your behavior will change is for you to admit that you were wrong. If you are in denial, she will think you will never change.

2. Express that you are very upset for letting yourself down. This will let her know that you have standards that you live up to... Attractive stuff.

3. Vow to never mess up again. When I say vow, I mean vow. Swear on all that is sacred to you. She must believe that you are going to change, otherwise it won't work.

4. Reassert yourself as the man. I recommended to my friend that he passionately ravage his girlfriend in bed so that he reestablished himself as the man she was upset about losing... you can do that or something which clearly demonstrates that you are back to normal. This could be sex, a bold display of courage, or maybe you give her a rush on an amazing adventure. Whatever the case, after you acknowledge your shortcomings, you have a small window of opportunity to PROVE that you are the new man that you say you are. If you assert your manhood around this time, she will believe you, and act accordingly.

It's important to remember that it's VERY hard to change what people think of you. This method will work, but once you've buried the hatchet on your screw-ups, you must act the part moving forward. If you use this opportunity to rise to the occasion, she will be much more attracted to you, and your relationship will be stronger on all levels.