How do I get him back

[Jlo]

I was in a relationship with a guy for 3.5 years. My love for him was pure and sure straight form the heart no filters attached. I did not want anything form life except his love. To cut it short he was god to me. He loved me alot too.both of us are giving professional exams which he was not able to clear since two years. 3 months ago his parents said alot of new sense to him and stopped talking to him because he was not able to clear exams and I was to blame for his faliuers as per them and him too to an extent. However this was not at all the case, he failed because if his mistakes which he never accept and would put the name on me. We mutually decided not to talk untill he clears his exmas and I initiated it. I did not contact him for a week but he called after a week and talked very rudely to me. I asked for the reason for such rudeness replying to which he said it's over. I kept on requesting him not to do this as it would break me down and my life would be finsihed. He said it was just an impulsive reaction but he refused to share a thing with me( it's very unusual because we shared a life together). I kept on requesting begging him not do this but probably this irritated him more. I also forced him to an extent beacuse I was not able to accept the fact of him leaving me. In the mean while he developed a throat infection and was not allowed to speak but since I use to call him and cry he use to talk to me this made his throat worse. Sonhe hates me more for this. It's very unlikely taht he will recover any soon. He and I said a lot of shitty things to each other in anger. I was angry at him for just abondoning me like this it was all a pool of emotions I experienced heart brake insecurity helplessness love and and what not things. I apologised to for my apparent mistakes thinking this would bring him back but it was if no use. I tried to end my life but dint have the guts to do that. I tried to stop feeling about him but failed in the same too. He has agreed to meet me next month after the exams. My exams are screwed as am not able to concentrate anywhere. he does not wants to come back but I can not do without him I have realised it. Life is all filled of so much of gloom and restlessness.

Things have become very complex. I am ready to do anything to say anything of any extent to get him back in my life.

I would be great full if you could help me out in this situation and please advice what should I do and what should I tell him once we meet in the next month to get him back.

[Ella]

Understanding how to make him run back to you starts with presenting yourself in a very specific way. It's completely understandable that you would be very emotional after the break up. That's not easy to hide. It comes through in the form of crying and begging with him. Each and every time you do this, you're showing him that you're weak and not mature enough to handle a change in the relationship. He's going to feel justified in the break up. That's why you have to pull yourself together and act like the confident woman you are. Control your emotions. Do not allow them to control you.

You must also be prepared to alter your expectations for the time being. He's no longer your boyfriend and simply wishing for that to change, is not going to work. Instead, you need to move forward with developing a new connection between the two of you. Be friendly with him. Treat him as you would any other friend, regardless of gender. Keep things light and carefree. Your goal with this is to get him to let his guard down again.

By far, the most persuasive tactic to make him run back to you is to let him go. Once you stop showing interest in a man, he'll start to show more interest in you. This works when you meet a new man and also when you're trying to win back a man you've already been with. It drives a man absolutely crazy if he feels you may no longer want him. Even if he rejected you initially, if you reject him now, it will make him desire you again. Get busy staying away from him. Avoid him for a few weeks and suddenly you'll notice that his interest in you will be peaked again.

[Jlo]

Thank you. If this means his coming back I'll surely avoid him for a few weeks. He never texts me, I am the one who does that everyday. We were to meet in Nov second week. I had decided to bring him gifts chocolates, apoolagise for everything truly and talk to him about each and every memory we had. Should I do that ? Or should I postpone it or should I leave the idea of it meet as I would meet any other friend?

[Bradwin]

You're no closer to being back together now than you were the day after you two broke up. You're frustrated and you miss him. It's time to change things now. Once you understand the right things to say to make him want you back, your break up and all the pain and uncertainty that came with it will be a thing of the past.

At first thought you may assume that one of the best things to say to make him want you back is that you can't live without him. It sounds romantic and endearing, doesn't it? As women we'd fall into a heap of emotion if our boyfriend said this to us. However, you have to remember that men's minds don't work the same way at all. If you tell your ex boyfriend that he's the only man for you and you'll love him for eternity he'll see that as a sign of pure desperation on your part. It's not going to pull at his heart strings at all. It will actually make him push you away.

You need to approach the break up and your effort to get him back the same way he would if the roles were reversed. Men say things in a very direct and bold way. They tend to not pull punches when it comes to matters of the heart. If you want to get him interested in you again you have to make him believe that you've lost interest in him. That's why saying something about how you wish him well or that you're ready to move on is so powerful. He'll take that as a rejection and once that happens his ego will take over and nothing will stop him from getting you back.

The best rule of thumb to follow when you want to say the right thing after your break up is to think twice before saying anything at all. If you're overcome with a desire to tell your ex how much you want him back, write it down in a journal instead. If your emotions are running high and you're angry with him for dumping you, express that in your journal too. Only share things with him that make you feel empowered and strong.

By showing or expressing little interest in him, that's the thing that will get him to want you back. Self control and some forethought will help guide you towards being stronger and knowing what to say and what to avoid. By not wearing your heart on your sleeve and keeping your innermost thoughts to yourself, you'll stand a much better chance of getting the man you love back for good.

[Jlo]

Thank you. I'll try to control my emotions for sure he nevr contacts me am the one who does that everyday. Shiukd I just stop contacting him for a month? Or talk to him formally. were to meet in Nov second week. I had decided to bring him gifts chocolates, apoolagise for everything truly and talk to him about each and every memory we had. Should I do that ? Or should I postpone it or should I leave the idea of it meet as I would meet any other friend?