I want to tell her I love you and have feelings for her. But I don't know how or when to do so.

[Fby05]

I need some serious help here, I don’t know what to do.

Please bear with me this is going to be a long one. But I want to explain my situation in great detail. At the same time I don't think I can make this short. I want for everyone to understand where I'm coming from. This is about a very special person, a beautiful women (she's 26 - Hispanic) that I know (or semi-know, I'll explain later) and I have strong feelings for her and ultimately want to spend my life with her together in a relationship 'companionship' as long as I live.

First about me, I'm 30 years old Hispanic (135 lbs - athletic built) and I never had a girlfriend / relationship. My experience with women is 'zero'. I'm very shy but sweet, loyal, respectful, responsible, hard-working man. Good looking as I'm told by many people. Why I haven't had a girlfriend in my life ? A lot of it was personal choice, the type of person I am. I have low self-esteem, highly critical of myself, basically (not good enough). other times I didn’t want any because of all the advice I was getting from other guys. listening to their stories about their relationships and so forth. That kind of steered my path to ("maybe I should just live my life alone.") But now I want to change that. My loneliness is really hitting me harder than ever I'm really feeling the pain.

The first week of October this year I had a family tragedy in my life. My nephew (20 years old) took his own life. He was dealing with depression and among some other things played a role to his decision. On that day when everyone started hearing the news I went rushing to my sister's home, be by her side and obviously figuring out what happened. It was such a painful moment. All of a sudden 'she arrived' to be at my sisters side.

I haven't seen her in 10 years. It has been so long as I could remember. In relation to my nephew she's his cousin (her and myself, we are not blood related. Both of us are from separate family's. She's from my nephews father side.) We have known each other since we weir kids/teenagers. We have pictures to prove it. Before all this tragedy, there was a point in my life that I thought I was never going to see her again. In fact I've completely forgot about her. We were 'very distant' from each other. I know her mom, brothers, and part of her family.

That night everyone headed to Boston where my nephew was attending/living at his university. To find the answers were looking for, preliminary reports, etc. The next day we're at the hotel. We confiscated a letter that my nephew wrote to the family, from the police. She and I read the letter together crying as it was too strong to bear. After wards she invited me for a walk to go out and clear our minds. I'm a unapproachable person, she took the initiative to be with me and to talk about 'where have we been for all these years'. I'll never forget that moment with her. Despite the tragedy I was happy to be with her. She started the conversation, how I've been, where I work, how old I am, etc. You need to understand, this is the first time I've had this moment with a women. She's the first one to approach me, she's the one that started the conversation. She even told me she did the 'women's march' at the inauguration. That really impressed me, that’s how amazing she is. It felt like hours went by when we talked.

She really took care of the family. All in the process she arranged the funeral for my nephew, her cousin. She took care of everything. A week in she sent me my first text ever from a women asking how I was doing. I was at work at the time and I responded gracefully and asked how everyone was doing. She has done so much, she's a hardworking person. That’s why I'm in love with her. At the time I think I screwed up big time. I had to go back to work early, I was behind on some bills and worked extra hours. I missed an opportunity to be with her but the moment was to fresh about my nephew that he was on my mind all the time. I wanted to be alone.

Fast forward, This is when it starts to change direction. Eventually she went back to work and back to her personal life.
This is when we started getting 'distant' from each other. Thanksgiving came along and I texted her after 6 weeks of no contact. I asked her if she would be with us? She said yes. I was so excited to see her again, I've been wanting to give her a gift. A bottle of red wine, a card I wrote expressing my appreciation for all she's done for the family. And a gift card. She said thank you with her beautiful smile and gave me a hug.
That night I gave her a ride to her friend's house. And along the 30min ride, I froze I couldn’t say anything. It was awkwardly quiet. I wanted to say something loving but I was too nervous.
The next day I gave her a ride to her place with her best friend. Again silence I couldn’t say anything I was too shy.

A few days later I texted her and wanted to meet up for coffee or something, to get to know each other more and make up for lost time. She rejected, she said she went out the previous night, and wasn’t felling so well. I responded "no worries feel better, you'll be fine " now December roles in. I texted her again saying "its been so long since we talked like we did in Boston. Can we get together ?". She rejected again saying "so true, but I have so much work to get done before I leave". (For her birthday vacation) Now I know, I went out of line with my response "I completely understand, you have obligations, hard working and I'm sure an amazing life. I want to say that I wouldn’t want us to disappear completely. It certainly felt that way before our family tragedy." When I said that, its because I miss her so damn much. The next day I apologized for that text, if it was to strong. She said " nah its all good, all caught up".

As I finish this I'm hoping to see her again in Christmas or my nephews birthday visit to his grave.

What do I do from here? Do I just call her in the next few days, and risk it all. Finally tell her my feelings for her and the love and respect I have for her? I don’t know what to expect or how she is going to respond to that. I'm really scared. I'm so afraid to lose her, there's no other women I rather be with in my life but her. I don’t know what to do with my life, if I cant be apart of hers. I am so distraught about all this. I feel like I've already lost her, its too late. She is on my mind everyday now.

I would really appreciate for anyone's valuable advice, input, opinions, suggestions, etc. Read about my story 2 or 3 times if you have to, and understand where I'm coming from. I thank all of you for taking the time and the help in all this with me.

Hoping for the best.

JC

[Ben]

Here's some news for you - rejection often is the direct result of how you approach the whole thing in the first place. This is why you must know the killer ways to tell a girl you love her so that she responds to you favorably. Read on to discover these secrets and achieve earth shattering results fast...

Three Tips On How To Tell A Girl You Love Her

Tip Number One - "Timing Matters". Timing has got a very strong influence when it comes to confessing your love to a girl. If you utter the words "I love you" in a wrong time, your chances could be ruined forever. Be warned!

Tip Number Two - "Give Non-verbal Queues". You see, women can pick up hints very easily - she will know that you have feelings for her even without you saying it. Once you have done this, telling her that you want her will be easy.

Tip Number Three - "Use Hypnosis". If everything else fails, you should not rule out using hypnosis when you tell her that you want her. One surefire way to do this is to hypnotize her to feeling emotionally dependent on you so that she cannot be without you. This way, you will make her confess her feelings to YOU instead! One hypnosis trick to do this is called 'fractionation'.

Before you use hypnosis, you must heed this warning...

Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction. While controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists.

[Nora]

Well, it's the stuff love songs are made of.

Remember the hit 1976 song by British band Smokie "Living next door to Alice"? The chorus went

"Twenty four years just waiting for a chance, to tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance. Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice"

Here is a story my friend Gary told me and why I believe being honest pays off:

"My dad just got a new job and so we moved to a new state and neighborhood closer to his work. I was 8 years old at the time.

Susan happened to live just across the street from us at the new place and we also attended the same school. It was inevitable that we became playmates. I had no siblings so it was always school, home, lunch, homework then playtime with Susan.

Fast forward 4 years and the feelings came at me from nowhere. One day we were friends the next I was practically dreaming about her and always wanted to be around her. However, I could not explain how I felt for fear of being teased or called mushy. I had a feeling she liked me too but I was too scared to speak up. More years went by and it was time for college.

The day Susan left was so painful for me but it would only get worse as I was in for a bad surprise. During the summer break, Susan came home but she was not alone. She brought along her new boyfriend Dave. I was devastated.

Dave stayed for lunch and dinner that day but the minute he left I walked up to Susan's house, rang the bell and blurted out to her to the amusement of her mum and kid brother that I had been in love with her for many years now. Guess what?

She asked me "What took you so long?" We have been married for over 15 years now."

You have these feelings inside but you can't seem to get them out because every time you see her your knees get weak and you are unable to put a full sentence together. You feel like you are dying inside every time she walks past you without so much as a glance. Don't worry you are not alone.

So how do you get the confidence to speak up?

1. Be yourself: Please guys this cannot be over emphasized and has got to be the Golden Rule of male/female relationships. Trying to sound, walk or speak like someone you are not makes you look juvenile and annoying. That would certainly not win you any favors from the ladies/girls. Am not saying if you have some poor personality traits you shouldn't try to change but am sure you get the picture.

2. Do not fear rejection: Just like my story above, Gary was scared for years to express his feelings because he was sure Susan would reject him. But guess what? She did not! Even if she had, at least he would have had closure and been able to put the incident behind. The thought of saying "what if" for the rest of his life pushed him to finally make the move and you should too.

Let's face it anyway, it's not like you are going to be beheaded Game of Thrones style for speaking your heart to the girl!

3. Find out a bit about her interests: The operative word here being "a bit". Am not saying follow her about town stalker style, but am sure a friend or two should be able to tell you what her hobbies are. Does she like to read, sew, swim or even cook? Freshen your knowledge about any of her interests and you would have plenty to discuss and keep her interested. It also helps to make her feel important.

4. Be romantic: Remember dates that are special to her. Birthdays and other events should not be forgotten. Gifts don't have to be expensive but should show you care.

5. Looks are important too: We can't do much about the genes we are born with but what about the basic things like clean hair and nails? Bad breath is a no-no and could cost you dearly. You can bet you would not get a second chance.

Take a second look in the mirror before you step out even when you know you would not run into her that day.

Take up an exercise and if possible try to practice where she is likely to bump into you in action (yeah I know this sounds cheesy but what's a man to do?). Ever wondered why the soccer and basketball team guys always got the girls back in high school, well now you know and you can thank me later.

6. Try to get along with her friends: Maybe not always possible but don't think for a minute they don't matter. They could go a long way to make or break your young love especially in the early days of the relationship.

7. Do not be vague: I could write a whole book on this. What do you want from her? Say it. Do not dawdle. However, don't go the line of marriage at the second date or even third date. Get my drift? Do you want just a friend, a girlfriend or a wife?

8. Show you want her heart not just her body: Physical contact is a very touchy subject for male and female alike. Keep your hands to yourself until you are both ready to move forward.